


Untouchable

by VeryWrongEverything



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alpha Anathema, Alpha Aziraphale (Good Omens), Alpha Gabriel, Alpha Sandalphon, Explicit Sexual Content, Happy Ending, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Crowley (Good Omens), Omega Newt, Omega Verse, Original Character(s), Rut, The Them - Freeform, Unsexy Sex Scene, alpha beelzebub, heat - Freeform, omega shelters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:53:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 54,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24699379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeryWrongEverything/pseuds/VeryWrongEverything
Summary: Crowley ran from an unhappy relationship with an Alpha and ended up in another Alpha's house on the same day.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Comments: 184
Kudos: 277





	1. Running Away

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not planning to deal with severe trauma in this fic, but there will be a fair share of body shame, insecurities, unpleasant (sexual/romantic) relationship experiences. I will try to mention it in the beginning of each chapter, if I don't or if you think there should be more tags and warnings, please let me know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts with a sex scene, but it is not a sexy one. If you've been in that kind of situation, I'm sorry and sincerely hope you are now more comfortable with voicing your discomforts and desires or are now aware of your partner's needs. 
> 
> I'm trying to tell a story about the almost-invisible scars people carry around them. Things happen in our lives can hurt us in ways that we don't realise. We can still hurt even when we are not torn in halves, stabbed in our hearts, or flooding the floor with our blood.
> 
> That should be all for now, enjoy!

Crowley kept his eyes shut as Gabriel continued to thrust into him. His own arousal has died down some time ago, and the slick inside of him was beginning to dry out. The Alpha on top of him didn’t notice. Or, if he did, he said nothing about it. The movements became painful and Gabriel’s scent became more pungent as the smell of sweat mixed in.

Both of Gabriel’s muscular forearms rested near Crowley’s fiery locks, supporting his well-built body away from the lanky Omega. Among the aggressive scent of cypress, Crowley tilted his head slightly, trying to focus on the smell of soap Gabriel just used to cleanse the slick on his fingers after he finished preparing Crowley. Thinking of the emotionless preparation made his stomach sink and slender limbs grow a bit colder.

“Don’t move.” The cold and stern warning from his Alpha pulled him back to the reality. He must have moved in attempt to hide his face and the self-pity that was written all over it when he was lost in his thoughts. He didn’t have to. Gabriel didn’t look at him much anyways. His eyes stared blankly into the bed sheet and lips slightly parted huffing heated damped breath to the shell of Crowley’s ear. It wasn’t intimate enough to provide comfort, but close enough to cause discomfort.

It was uncomfortable.

But the Alpha always seemed content when they finished. So Crowley stayed still. He now knew better than to chase those parted glistening lips or wipe away to sweat sliding down along the angular jawline. _Stay still and wait. It would all be over soon_. He whispered to himself in his mind. His body would be sore for a few days but there would be nothing more.

He felt the spent penis pulled out and the warm air around him vanished. The Alpha stepped into the shower to clean himself. Crowley laid as still as possible to ignore the thick cum spilling out of him and waited for his turn. He only manipulated his sore body by sheer will until the man walked out of the shower again fully clothed, dark hair falling on a side of the perfectly formed face.

He glanced over his own body in the bathroom mirror. _No markings_ as expected, but overall, the situation wasn’t bad. They didn’t touch much so of course there’s no significant bruises. The dripping mess was uncomfortable but that would soon be taken care of by the shower. The skin of his rim might be a bit ripped and his core would be sore for a few days but nothing worse than usual. With a bit of caution when moving around, Crowley should survive just fine.

He waited for the water to heat up and stepped into the water and scrubbed himself until the skin was pink and raw. The stinging of the skin grounded him in a way. As Crowley showered, he thought about what to pack for Gabriel and what he’s going to do in his nest while Gabriel is away for a few months again. He’d love to add some more thrown pillows into it. Gabriel has always complained about no having enough space to lie down. But if he’s away, Crowley could do whatever he wants to their nest. Well, it’s technically Crowley’s nest by then. One couldn’t own a nest if one’s not around, could he? Crowley sudden felt _horrible_. He realised that he was looking forward to being away from Gabriel. It’s only minutes after sex with his Alpha, he didn’t try to savour the intimacy, and was instead entertaining himself with the idea of being alone. Being without his Alpha. He’s a _terrible_ _Omega_.

Gabriel must be very disappointed with him.

But isn’t he always disappointed in him? Crowley wanted to crouch down and embrace himself but a sharp pain shot through his torso between his legs. The thought of this might be his future life horrified him. Passionless sex, indifferent Alpha, an Empty house? And if he’s lucky, _very lucky_ , he might have some pups that he can hold dear to his heart. But is he lucky? Would Gabriel even breed him? If he’s not claiming him on the night of their registration, what are the odds of he claiming Crowley as his Omega?

 _Okay, hold on_. He’s going ahead of himself. Gabriel hasn’t even claimed him. He didn’t have a mark. Crowley felt tears filling up his eyes again, but then, something thundered through his mind.

 _He didn’t have a mark yet!_ Does it mean he has another chance? Would any other Alpha want him? Would there be any Alpha that would at least mark him? Own him in the most primal way? He did not know, but he knew, though he hated to admit, Gabriel would never be the one to give him that. However long he waited. However hard he tried to please the Alpha. Gabriel was never planning on having a life with him.

His mind seemed to have cleared up. Crowley walked out of the misty shower and swiftly pat himself dry. He winced when his irritated skin hit the chilly air and slender feet hit the icy marble floor. Of course Gabriel turned down the temperature of the room and took the fluffy slipper by the door without giving a damn of Crowley’s comfort. Alphas always felt entitled to take everything they sees fit and Gabriel was especially inconsiderate. With his eyeball drawing appearance, he never has to care much about others. The Alpha has already fallen asleep in bed, taking up most of the soft bed.

Crowley had promised he would help with packing when they came home tonight. He’d still do that. He picked up a few suitcases that were still half-full from Gabriel’s previous travel. They didn’t really have much time together this time. Gabriel came back to visit his family and spend a few nights with him. And this is an alternative of Crowley visiting Gabriel. He reminded himself how Gabriel did everything to hide him away from his life. He aggressively smoothed out the creases on the fabric and stacked them neatly into the cases.

As he wandered around the flat, he collected the few items he was allowed to bring with him when he first moved in. _Nothing that will carry scent_ , he remembered the coldness in the dark violet eyes, _not yours not anyone’s. I don’t want things messing with my scent._ Everything else he need he bought afterwards. With Gabriel’s _permission_ of course. This is _his house_ after all.

When the packing’s almost done, Crowley stretched his slender limbs and carried a small pile of clothing that he wanted to bring with him. He rolled up his sleeves and started rubbing soap into them. He was not going to bring Gabriel’s scent along with him into his new life.

Crowley went to the registration office first thing the next morning, hoping to withdraw the application Gabriel and he put in the day before. He queued with others holding filled out forms and IDs, empty hands wringing about and legs bouncing, sometimes nudging the slightly worn out duffle bag that held all his belongings.

He stared at the beige walls and studied the patterns of the paint. The room felt slightly more chilling than yesterday, when Gabriel and he came to register as partners. His chest had been all fluffy and warm, brain basically a pile of goo. Gabriel always wanted to keep things secretive. He remembered the body beside him tensed up and the cypress scent grew more pungent when they ran into someone Gabriel knew. He would suppress his Omega instinct, that roared and wanted to stay at the Alpha’s side, and took a step aside. Crowley’s stomach churned. Thinking back, he couldn’t believe how he let himself be treated that way.

His mind wandered through the bitter memories and thought about contacting Beaz when he’s done here. Someone called out his name and gestured him forwards.

“I was hoping that I can withdraw a partner registration that was put in yesterday, is that alright?” He said with uncertainty in his voice, gaze stuck on the grey metal desk. “It’s not working out.”

“Normally, we would need proofs from both parties, but please sit, I’ll see what I can do.” The clerk gestured and typed something into his computer. Crowley waited, anxiety bubbling up his chest. The clerk asked for the applicants’ names and started typing again. Then he said there’s no application under the names. Crowley didn’t understand.

“Sir, there weren’t any application under the name Gabriel Archer or Anthony Crowley.” The man stated. Professional and distant. Everything around Crowley started to seem a bit fuzzy. He wasn’t sure if this is really happening or was it his insecurities messing with his mind.

Then he heard some other clerk in the room shouted, “oi! Ez, are you looking for the registration application put in yesterday? Archer and Crowley?” Some paper ruffled in the air and Crowley’s head snapped into the direction seeing “INVALID” in red bold font on it.

Crowley felt as if his chest was ripped out, breathing became difficult. Betrayal and pain flooded his mind. “How?” He heard his crackled voice and winced at the desperate vulnerability in his own voice.

He did not understand any of this. But he felt like he had knew it all along. _Of course Gabriel didn’t want him. He never did_. He might have wanted someone to care for him and come back to between his long trips, but eventually he wouldn’t stay. He should have known.

“Um… Sorry, my dear, from what I can gather at the moment. I think there’s something wrong with Mr Archer’s ID.” The clerk said with a regretful tone as he walked around his dests and towards Crowley. The Omega was visibly shaking and broken sobs falling out of his thin lips when a pair of thick arms circled him and held him still.

 _Alpha’s arms._ Crowley startled and worried that he would get scented by another Alpha and Gabriel would be disappointed in him again. _You’re not going back_ , he reminded his Omega brain. “Hey,” the soft and calming voice whispered gently, pulling him back from the hazy state, “I need you to breath.” So he did. Soothing scent enveloped him, and his breath started to settle. His nostril took in the aromatic scent around him without his consent. It was a mixture of bay and nutmeg, soft and mellow, and almost, _homey_.

_Don’t just drop into another Alpha’s arms when you just ran away from one!_ Crowley silently shouted at his Omega instincts. _This is not a good way to start your new life_. He warned himself, _breath in_ and _breath out_ , trying to calm himself.

“Dear,” the voice was velvety and soothing. “Come sit down and I’ll get you some water.” Then the scent around him weakened as the Alpha walked away. Crowley closed his eyes and tried to pace his breaths. Inhaling and exhaling slowly, feeling his chest less painful.

And the soothing scent is back. Someone lifted his hand and placed a glass of water in it. He stared at the water but couldn’t bring himself to drink it. His mind and body weren’t on the same page yet.

“I suppose you’re not going back to where you came from?” The Alpha kneeled on one knee in front of him to look him in the eye and asked, thick palm gesturing towards the duffle bag by Crowley’s side. Crowley hadn’t managed to move his head, so all he could see was a pair of well-polished brown derby and the hems of tan trousers. His scent grew a hint mellower than it was, anchoring him back to the reality. “Is there someone you can turn to? Family or friends?”

Crowley was planning on contacting Beaz but that was before he felt like a total failure and wanted to hide from the world. He didn’t really know what to do now, consumed by the betrayal and hurt. He still couldn’t bring himself to speak or move, so he didn’t. His gaze stuck on the ground.

“Is there someone I can contact for you? Ask them to come and pick you up?” The voice persisted with a hint more force. Nothing aggressive, but helpful to pulling Crowley’s mind back from the haze it was in. “At least let them know where you are, yes?”

He was overwhelmed by a peculiar sense of shame, disappointed by his useless tongue. _Why haven’t he given up?_ He wondered. _Why haven’t he snapped? Wasting time to talk to an Omega who doesn’t reply._

He startled when the glass was taken away from him and a palm rested on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s alright if you don’t want to speak yet,” the Alpha squeezed his shoulder gently, “but I think it’s better if we move to somewhere more comfortable and private to deal with this.” He gestured to the couch in corner of the office.

Crowley lift his head up to look and finally saw the Alpha. The Alpha looked approachable. He had white blonde hair that shined like halo in front of the lights. His round figure was hugged beautifully in a light blue dress shirt with a light brown waistcoat over it, and there was a _bowtie_.

 _Tartan bowtie_. _Really?_ Crowley was speechless, half because of the tenderness and half because of the ridiculously overdressed Alpha.

He seemed concerned. “My dear, you must be shaken to your core.” Crowley felt a thumb rubbing soothing circles on the edge of his shoulder. “Walk with me first alright? Let’s get you settled down a bit before we think of what to do next. Yes?”

Sturdy arms lifted him from the edge of the seat he was hanging on and he followed the lead. He was then set down between cushions. “Would you want me you get another Omega or a Beta to assist you? I understand that it can be uncomfortable to um…” The blonde looked apologetic. “Well, it might be unfair for an Alpha, namely me, to take your case under such sensitive conditions.”

“I’ll go see if someone more suitable can help out from here. Yes?” He rose to his feet and Crowley’s panic peaked again at the loss of the comforting scent. He reached out to pull on the Alpha’s sleeve and mumbled what was either a protest or a plead.

“Would it be better if I put on a scent patch?” The blonde crouched down again.

Crowley hesitated and shook his head.

Crowley sat on the couch with a glass of warm milk and some biscuits while the blonde Alpha returned to his desk to take care of some urgent matter with a promise to return soon. No more than an hour he said as he put down some snacks, a few magazines and his jacket on the side table.

“I understand that it might not be comfortable for you to use a strange Alpha’s jacket, but we don’t keep blankets in the office. I don’t think you’d rather to be bothered by more mixed scents. So, I’m afraid this will have to do. For now” He offered and the Omega accepted it with a grateful expression.

Crowley did not hate the Alpha’s scent. He was just overwhelmed by everything that’s going on. And he suddenly realised he said anything. “Um…Thank you…Um…”

“Fell. Aziraphale Fell.” The blonde said with an embarrassed tone. “I can’t believe I forgot to believe give you my name. How unthoughtful of me.” He exclaimed and furrowed.

“’s alright.” Crowley mumbled. “I was a mess. Wouldn’t catch that even if you did.”

Fell came back with a stack of document. His reading glasses still on his nose distorting his gray blue eyes just a little. Crowley watched as he approached and somehow felt grounded.

“Mr Crowley, I’ve learnt a little about your situation as I go through some past records and I have to say that I am truly sorry.” The blonde sat down as he speaks. The couch dented towards his weight and Crowley, somehow, sighed in relief.

“There were two other application for partnership put in by Mr Archer. Also invalid, of course. But not because of issues with his IDs. He had some of his contacts pulled out the application before it’s processed.” He swallowed nervously, gaze darting between the documents and Crowley’s face.

“Is that…” Crowley tried to ask but couldn’t decide whether he wanted to know the answer. His finger entangled and nails digging into the side of his fingertips, tearing small fragments of skin.

“I’m afraid so, Mr Crowley.” Fell’s palm hovered tentatively over Crowley’s shaking hands, unsure of whether it’s appropriate to comfort him through touch. “He had one of our staff pulled out the application not long after you filed the application.”

“How long?” Crowley braced himself for the truth. However hurtful it may be, he had to know. Had to understand the full picture to stop himself from being blind of the cruelty ever again.

“At most, twenty minutes. I am sorry.” His warm palms took Crowley’s trembling hands and held tight. “The application was withdrawn twenty minutes after being filed.”

“Ah…” Crowley softly exclaimed in realization. It’s worse than he thought. Gabriel didn’t even wait until they leave the registration office, then. He did it right under Crowley’s nose. Did not even bother to make an extra trip or have some other associate to do his shameless trick for him. _Not that it mattered anyways_. He shouldn’t have thought he was going anywhere in the relationship. Love stories with happy endings are for others. _Not for people full of insecurities and flaws_. Not people _like me._ Crowley thought to himself.

He was pulled into an embrace. His thin body shaking violently against Fell’s sturdy torso. He scrambled out of the arms. “Tears’ gonna ruin your clothes.” He’s going to stain the beautiful jacket which he did not have to right to dirty. His tear and weakness were disgusting, or so did Gabriel say.

Crowley felt discarded like an unwanted furniture. Left to rot by the street.

“Hey, it’s alright.” A warm palm covered his nape, just under his skull, massaging gently, and he laid his forehead back onto the broad shoulder. Fell let him weep for a few more minutes. Tears soaked his clothing. Crowley felt guilty about ruining the perfectly maintained fabric, but he couldn’t stop.

When his trembling started to lessen, he felt Aziraphale turned to his ear and whispered. “Dear boy, I need to ask again. Do you want me to contact any of your friends or family?”

Crowley shook his head frantically. _He cannot have beaz see him like this._ Then there was silence.

 _He was burdening Fell._ He suddenly realised.

“I can handle myself. Back on my feet in just a few minutes, need to catch my breath.” He forced out a weak smile and pulled away. Aziraphale let him but held his hands again.

“I’m not asking you to leave now, Anthony. Can I call you Anthony?” He looked into the golden eyes with sincerity. “It’s simply that… Um…I want to offer something. Please don’t panic or take it the wrong way. I’m not trying to force you into anything.” He swallowed nervously and it felt weird to Crowley. He has never seen Alpha being nervous. Let alone an Alpha uncertain of how to phrase his words in a conversation with an Omega.

“I have a spare guestroom. You didn’t want to contact your friends or family yet, and, in that case, I don’t think you would want to stay at hostels, yes? You weren’t really comfortable among the crowd just now. Sure. You can apply for temporary housing or other social helps, but we’d have to go through all your relatives and acquaintances and establish that there is no one willing to take you in.

I’m not trying to take advantage of you. I simply hate to see you this distressed. If you’d allow me, I want to take care of you. For a few days at least. And we can see if you are ready to contact your friends then. Or want to move out on your own. Anything really.”

Crowley was shocked. He had no idea if it is a wise decision to stay with the Alpha. He’d just met the man. But it can be quite dangerous for an Omega to wander around on their own as well. Especially one with fertility like him, smelling like a unguarded feast.

He knew nothing about Fell beside that he smelled nice, and scents usually reveal some truth about a person. He smelt weirdly clean. There’s no scent of another Alpha or Omega on him.

It’s still all unmarked water though, he decided to dwell on it for a while longer. But he knew he had to at least say something now. “Thank you, Mr Fell. It’s so very kind of you, but can I have some time to consider?” Crowley lower his eyes.

“Of course, take all the time you need. You can just call me Aziraphale, if you don’t mind, that is. If you want to make any phone calls, feel free to make them. I can make calls for you as well.” He gave the softest smile and Crowley felt safe. He didn’t say it right away though. He really should think things through before jumping into the new world.


	2. Settling Down?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale being sweet and thoughtful while the boys settle done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm back~  
> Thank you all for the kind comments and please enjoys this soft chapter. As always, feel free to comment:)

The moment Crowley accepted Aziraphale’s offer, the Alpha guided him to his car, a beige beetle, round and welcoming like its owner was. Bitter-sweet emotions stirred in Crowley’s stomach when Aziraphale helped him settle in the passenger seat before closing the door nicely and gently without causing a flinch from the Omega.

He had never been treated like this before. People didn’t take him out for fancy rides. He was expected to show up at the agreed spot. On some occasions, he was guided to vehicles but during most of those time, he was hustled into the back seat for a quick jerk off and his unaddressed arousal neglected. Or if he triggered a fight, he would be dumped in the car like a piece of the luggage. His mind wandered off and lingered on the embrace of homey aroma when Aziraphale leaned over to fuss with the seatbelt.

“I’m afraid the passenger seat wasn’t used as often as it should be.” Aziraphale offered a nervous smile to Crowley’s gaze as his hands went about starting his car. “All a bit rusty,” he paused with a sad smile tugging his lips. “A bit like me, really.”

“Your work…Um…Is it okay to leave like this?” Crowley breathed out, not sure which answer he wanted to hear.

“There’s no need to worry, dear boy. I thought I’d help you settle down for now and you can go around familiarize yourself with the house or get some good rest,” Aziraphale said in a comforting and assuring tone. “A short break from work never hurt anyone,” his broad chest rumbled with chuckled. The vibration of the air induced a soft smile out of Crowley’s sad expression.

“You are exhausted,” the Alpha added after a few silent moments, matter-of-factly. The declaration reminded Crowley that he must have smelled it on him and couldn’t help but feel obligated to apologise. An anxious and tired Omega couldn’t have smelled decent. His honey-coloured sights fixed on his twisted fingers, lips moving without actually making a sound.

“You must be. How could you not?” A slight shake of blonde curls and the gentle curve of those plump lips intercepted Crowley’s apology before it’s formed. “You seemed to have gone through a lot in the past few days. A nice nap will do you a world of good.”

During the past few years, apologising had become instinctive to Crowley. It didn’t matter whether he did something wrong. The tiniest scowl or downturn of lips showed up, he blurted out an apology. It didn’t even matter what he was apologising for. Forgiving and educating an Omega empowered Alphas and soothed their egos. It was an easier way to live. Not needing to apologise for all the small things that he couldn’t control was very new for Crowley. He didn’t know how to react. It brought a good kind of confusion. The kind that pointed to a new direction of life. Perhaps the world wasn’t full of cruel people like those he had met in the past.

“Also,” breaking his thinking, Aziraphale swallowed slowly before continuing, “I thought it’d be easier for you to…um…get to know the place better if I’m not in the way. You can have better access to the shower and kitchen. And you can enjoy some snacks on the balcony,” a hint of cheerfulness slipped into the nervous voice when Aziraphale began listing relaxing activities Crowley could do around the house. Crowley looked over and the upbeat energy disappeared. A flash of silent pain poked through from under the white-blonde lashes. “If you feel like it, that is. I do not intend to tell you what you can or cannot do,” Aziraphale added with a worried tone. It was coming from an old wound, a scar, even. Crowley did not know how to address it, nor did he feel qualified to ask after such intimate memories. He let it pass as the vehicle slide into the road.

The drive to Aziraphale’s place was smooth. Slower than Crowley’s normal liking, to be honest. The stability of the journey provided his lost soul with some kind of comfort. His glanced the surroundings from behind his dark lenses, trying to figure out where they were heading. He wasn’t likely to know. As a child, his family hadn’t been a fan of travelling and being an Omega meant no travelling alone.

After some time, which Crowley had lost track of in the serene sight of the suburb, they arrived at a bungalow with a small porch on the front and a neat lawn surrounding. He stared at it in awe. He felt peaceful just by looking at it.

“This is where you live?” He heard himself breathed out. Astonished.

“Yes, it was a family estate. Now, it’s just me here.” Aziraphale shut down the car and freed Crowley from the seatbelts. Fluffy white curls drawing Crowley’s focus back to the reality that he’s going to stay at a stranger’s home. His limbs stiffening from his nerves. “Is there something wrong? Or something concerns you? I have little visitors so there shouldn’t be too much disturbance,” Aziraphale removed his seatbelt as he spoke. His mellow scent stayed in the air from him helping remove Crowley’s seatbelt. Crowley breathed it in and shook his head in response to the ask.

“Actually,” a blush climbed up the Alpha’s round cheeks, “would you mind waiting here for a second? I think it’s better if I go in and open the windows before you come in. Air circulation. So you won’t suffocate from the scent. Yes?” It was unusual for an Alpha willingly gave up their own scent in their territory, Crowley thought to himself. Aziraphale’s scent wasn’t even provoking. Crowley found it weird and full of sad history. He nodded quietly trying to share the little calmness that he just found. “I’ll be back in a jiffy,” the blonde promised and hopped out of his side of the car.

Crowley waited. Trying to soothe his nerve with the serenity in front of him. With his eyes closed, he took several deep breaths and ground himself with the lingering scent of Aziraphale.

A series of gentle knock on the window beside him pulled him out of the calming headspace. He looked out and into the baby blue eyes. They were as lovely as the sky of a summer afternoon. No, they were more beautiful than that. They were sparkling with kindness.

With his empty hand, Aziraphale held the door open for the lanky redhead to step out of the vehicle. It took a while longer than necessary because his legs were numb from staying in the same position for an extended period of time. The blonde stood close nearby without showing a tinge of impatience. He was careful enough to leave enough space for Crowley to move out of the car and stretched slightly to get all his limbs on board.

After his feet stop feeling like being pricked by tiny needles, the redhead followed Aziraphale into the house. He noticed that the comforting scent was everywhere indoor but very faint around the blonde now. As he thought about it, they stopped at the end of the corridor. Aziraphale gestured to the room on their right-hand side.

“I hope this is acceptable. Let me know if there’s anything you don’t want, or something you need, or if you need help with anything, really,” he started fretting again and Crowley’s heart tightened a bit. He must have gone through some hard times. He laid his hand on the other man’s forearm and pressured gently.

“I’m lucky to have a roof to live under. I am beyond grateful of you taking me in and even gave me a room to stay in,” his voice broke by the end of the sentence. “Mr Fell, there is no way I can repay your kindness, but I’ll do my best.”

“My dear, no one deserves what you went through,” he held the hand Crowley laid on his forearm in his palms. It was incredibly warm. “Don’t feel obligated to pay me back. There is no need for that. Life is hard as it is.

“Perhaps, if you can afford helping others in the future, you can do the same, yes? Please don’t bring strangers back to where you live, though. It can be rather dangerous for an Omega to do that. Thank you for trusting me with your own safety, Anthony,” the blonde smiled with the most complex curve on his lip. Warm, but with a taste of bitter.

“Wouldn’t be safe elsewhere anyway,” Crowley mumbled out. “Would you mind using my surname? Crowley that is,” he added with a tiny voice. “Never really liked my given name.”

“Of course,” the corner of fell’s eyes crinkled with fondness. “So, Crowley, then?” He tested the name on his tongue. Crowley quite like the sound of it. “Would you like to take a look?” He gestured towards the room.

“I’d love to, thank you, Mr Fell.”

“Aziraphale,” the blonde answered.

“Aziraphale, yes,” Crowley tested the name on his tongue as well. It’s a mouthful, but it felt nice. “Thank you.” He moved into the room. The wallpaper was a muted shade of lavender with silver pattern running all over it. And the bedding was, _not on the bed?_ Crowley looked at the blonde in confusion and he gasped in realisation.

“Oh, I forgot to mention. I brought the covers and duvet out to get rid of the scent that might have lingered on it. I hope it helped, if not, I’ll have to look through the storage for an extra set or pick up a new set on my way home from work.” Crowley looked out and saw some fabric hanging by the backdoor. They are all beautiful shades of beige and purple.

“I don’t hate your scent, you know? Aziraphale,” he smiled and locked eyes with him. “Quite like your scent, actually,” he added, feeling his face blushing. _Some kindness wouldn’t hurt_ , he assured himself.

“Oh,” Aziraphale’s round face brightened, the rising pinkness accentuating the soft figure. “I’m glad, then.” Crowley made a soft noise in agreement and ventured into the other side of the room. He noticed the refreshing fragrance from the potted thymes and mint by the window.

“Did you grow these yourself?” He asked Aziraphale, who’s still at the door, and frowned. “Sorry, am I keeping you?”

“It’s alright. I don’t want to mix up the scent here. Having another person’s scent in your nest can be irritating,” he gestured to the bed in the middle of the room and Crowley’s jaw dropped. _He’s letting him make a nest here. A nest._ His ears reminded him that the blonde was still speaking, but his brain barely registered the content.

“I can remove the plants if their smell bothers you. There some scentless plants around the house as well. If you would still like some green in your room, I can move some aloe. They do not need much care as well. Shouldn’t be much trouble.” He seemed to notice Crowley’s slack jaw. “Something’s wrong, Crowley?”

“Ngk…no, it’s just…a nest? You said?” He stammered. He remembered how anger Gabriel got when he first tried to add new items to their nest, well, he thought it was their nest, but apparently, it’s inside Gabriel’s territory and he wanted no Omega to mess with it. It was only after Gabriel went on a months-long trip for business did Crowley get to move things around and bury himself in the comforting softness. “Wouldn’t it bother you? Alpha’s territorial instinct and everything?”

“No, no, no. Dear boy. You can have this room all to yourself,” Aziraphale waved his hand almost frantically, trying to clarify. “You have free access to the kitchen, bathroom, balcony, well most areas really. If you don’t like how things are arranged, you can move things around. I’d appreciate you telling me about the adjustment, though. So I don’t lose track of where everything is.” The thoughtfulness was extraordinary. Taking a lost stranger into his own house is an admirable kindness on its own. Crowley almost couldn’t believe his ears when he heard Aziraphale added, “is this alright with you?”

“’s more than everything I could’ve asked for, Aziraphale,” he said meekly.

“You’re welcome, Crowley,” Aziraphale seemed more relaxed and smiled. “I’ll let you settle down, then. Let me know if you need anything. Feel free to nap or go out for a walk, if you need to, I wouldn’t recommend walking too far, but stay on the main road and you should be fine.” He paused and Crowley nodded.

“As I said, you have free access to most of the house. Feel free to make yourself something to eat and freshen up. I left some towels and shower supplies in the bathroom for you. Also, you can take books from my study if you like, but please be careful with them,” he paused and waited for another nod.

“I need to return to the office, but I should be back by dinner time. I’ll check in with you then and bring you the things you need. If you’re not awake by then, I’ll leave you some food in the fridge for you to eat later. For now, is there something you need? Or do you want to contact someone? I can send a message out on my way to the office.”

Crowley contemplated. “Would you mind sending a message to my sibling for me?” He should let Beaz know he’s fine. A short message should be good enough.

After Aziraphale went back to work with his letter for Beaz, Crowley cleaned himself up and went to bed. He didn’t really rest well the night before and the emotional rollercoaster he just went through was exhausting. He sniffed the bedsheets and duvets he carried back into his room. There was the faintest hint of nutmeg and the scent of bay was so mellow, almost an undertone. It’s good enough to comfort him. Between the inhales and exhales, he drifted off. The tensed figure on his pale face slowly grew slack.

When he finally woke up, it was already dark outside the window. He sighed as he stretched like feline between the softness.

There’s a note slipped in from the gap under the door. He read through the neat curvy handwriting on it and smiled. After making himself presentable, he walked out of his room. A basket of soft thrown blankets and pillows caught his eyes, he sniffed and realised that it was almost scentless. Clean and unused. He couldn’t imagine how much trouble Aziraphale would have to go through to keep these scentless.

Crowley picked up the basket in his slender arms and dump the content out onto the bed. _His nest_ , he thought to himself. He’s allowed to arrange it however he wanted. The Omega inside of him was bubbling with appreciation. Crowley had to shake himself a few times before he stepped out of the room again to get rid of the blush his Omega instincts pulled on his face.

“Crowley! You looked much better,” Aziraphale turned to look at Crowley as soon as he entered the kitchen. He was doing the dishes at the sink and the blonde curls glowed softly under the warm kitchen lights. _Halo_ , Crowley thought and decided that it couldn’t have been more fitting. _An angel with a halo._

“You must be starving. Would you want something to eat?” He offered as he dried his hands on a cloth and turned to the fridge. “I can make pasta. Would that be alright with you? I’ll let you know when it’s done, yes?”

“I’m not a cook but would you mind me helping?” Crowley asked and stepped towards the kitchen counter tentatively.

“I don’t want to trouble you, but I’d love to have company,” Aziraphale practically beamed. He moved to the side to create some space for Crowley. He arranged the ingredients and started chopping a thick piece of cured pork. His thick palm held the kitchen knife gracefully and established a comfortable rhythm on the chopping board.

“Do you mind putting a pot of water over the stove? Add a big pinch of salt in it and let it heat up,” he instructed without stopping his tasks, eyelids half covering the pale blue eyes as his gaze stayed on the counter.

“Of course,” Crowley picked up a medium-size pot and start filling it up. After he put the lid on and wait for it to boil, he walked back to Aziraphale’s side and smiled shyly when the blonde thanked him. “’s nothing.”

Aziraphale asked about his room and whether he needed anything else as he cracked several eggs. His wrists did some skilful motions and suddenly, the round, firm and vibrant-coloured yolks sat nicely in a deep porcelain dish alone with some grated hard cheese. Crowley was stunned to no end.

He took the pepper cracker Aziraphale passed to him and twisted, enjoying being able to participate in the and smoothness of the wooden equipment. He then took the whisk passed to him and started working the mixture, while the blonde turned to the stove to cook the cured meat. His movements were fluid and practised. Before Crowley realised what the mixture in his hand was for, a sturdy arm reached out to retrieve it from his hold.

After a significant amount of stirring and mixing, Crowley was ushered to the island with a plate of decent pasta. Aziraphale raised an empty glass asking him if he’d like some to drink and he nodded with uncertainty. He didn’t really know if he should accept more things from him. Especially when he realised that Aziraphale might be quite invested in food and wine. That might be some good stuff that Crowley’s not good enough for.

“It’s alright if you don’t want some wine. You don’t need to feel obligated to drink with me,” Aziraphale returned to the island with an empty glass and the bottle. “Would you like to sample some first? You can have more if you like it.”

“Hm?” Crowley’s gaze was glued to the plate but his eyes widened in disbelief. “I’d love some, actually. Just don’t wanna waste your good wine on me.”

“Oh, nonsense,” Aziraphale mocked and poured out some wine for Crowley. His lips slightly parted in amazement when he saw Crowley’s eyes. “Your eyes…”

Crowley suddenly felt very embarrassed. People always said his eyes creep them out. _Too big and looked like snakes_ , they’ve always said that. He wanted to rush back to retrieve his sunglasses. He felt safer with the weight on the bridge of his nose. He cursed himself for not wearing them and considered whether it’s rude to run back into his room.

“They are beautiful,” he somehow registered the words the blonde breathed out. It almost sounded like fondness if he didn’t know what his own eyes looked like. “Can I…” he seemed to lost his words and Crowley looked up, straight into the blue ones.

“Oh…,” Aziraphale’s pink lips formed a small “o” and looked ridiculously endearing. “They’re the colour of liquid gold, Crowley. You have the most beautiful eyes.”

Crowley snorted, trying not to dwell on how much trouble he’d gotten in because of his eyes. “’ve always hated them. ‘s weird.” He gritted out, trying to ignore the bubbling feeling Aziraphale’s words were causing in his inside.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you don’t like them. I must be making you uncomfortable,” Aziraphale flinched and his lips pressed together so hard the pinkness faded.

“’s alright, don’t worry about it,” Crowley muttered and picked up the cutlery.

“Yes, you must be starving my dear. I’m terribly sorry. I hope I haven’t ruined your appetite,” the blonde was fretting again and it’s making Crowley tenser than his eyes being mentioned, so he laid one hand on the blonde’s shoulder and squeezed gently.

“’s nothing, yeah? ‘m glad you like them,” he smiled and turned back to his pasta.

They sat in silence for a while until Aziraphale suddenly sat up and took out a letter from his jacket. “The Beaz that you contacted responded quite immediately,” he slid the envelope to the redhead. “I thought it’s better to hand it to you in person.”

Crowley didn’t say a word for a few seconds, rubbing his slender fingers on the seal of the letter. “Thank you,” he muttered and Aziraphale nodded.

“You don’t have to open the letter in front of me. Actually, give me a call when you’re done, and I can clean up. I’ll leave you for now, yes?”

The thought of Aziraphale leaving him alone suddenly overwhelmed his better judgement so he pleaded, “please…don’t leave.”

The broad back froze in motion. “Sure, whatever you need, dear boy,” the blonde cooed and sat back down.

“Can you take your scent patch off? Please? If you don’t mind,” He asked with the most heart-breaking whisper Aziraphale’d ever heard. “It’s comforting. Your scent that is.”

“Of course. Wait here for a moment. I’ll discard it now.” He pressed a palm on Crowley’s shoulder blade and stood up. The warmth of Aziraphale seeped into Crowley’s core and he survived on it until the other person returned.

Beaz offered Crowley indefinite shelter in the short message. Crowley knew they would offer that, but he didn’t want to have to rely on his sibling’s kindness. He wanted to have an independent life.

“Beaz said they’d take me in,” he said quietly to Aziraphale.

“Oh,” the blonde’s voice dampened with sadness, but his expression was still. Crowley couldn’t tell if he’s upset about he leaving or just tired of all the trouble. “I’ll help you pack up again, then.”

He decided to speak his heart. “But I was wondering if you mind me staying a bit longer,” he swallowed nervously, eyes searching the round face for hints of displeasure. “I wanted to have a life of my own and getting back under Beaz’s wing wouldn’t be helpful.”

The blonde was still quiet and that made him panic. “I’ll get outta here as fast as possible, one month, please?”

The last question sliced open the numbness on Aziraphale’s face and he spurted out. “It’s totally fine, dear boy. Tickety-boo actually. I’d love to host you. Take all the time you need to plan out your future. It can be intimidating when you start. I’ll help if I’m capable of it. Don’t worry yourself too much over it.” He paused to catch up with his breath and realised his ramble.

“Um…I mean, staying for as long as you like, no pressure.” He swallowed again. “Um, no pressure.”

Crowley chuckled. Knowing that he’s not the only person having no idea what to do give him some sort of comfort.

“Do you want me to send a message back?” Aziraphale spoke up after the pause.

“Oh, I’m thinking I’ll go visit or have them meet me up at some café nearby,” Crowley said.

“This Beaz is your sibling?”

“Sister, originally. They didn’t want to use female pronouns anymore, so sibling it is,” Crowley explained.

“Right. Do you want to…um…invite them over? It seems like they care for you a great amount. Seeing where you are staying might ease their mind.”

“Um…I’m not sure it’s a good idea, Aziraphale. They’re an Alpha,” Crowley lowered his eyes. The shame of being the only Omega in his family crept back to him again.

“I don’t mind. I’ll be at my office during the day anyways,” he offered, not knowing what dampened the mood all of a sudden. “I can stay at the office until they leave, if you prefer that. Just give me a call when they leave. Or not, whatever makes you comfortable.”

“It’s really alright?” Crowley asked, unsure of whether it’s a good idea. He didn’t really want to breakdown in public and speaking with Beaz will definitely do that. “I’d be much more relaxed if I can stay here.”

“Of course, I can drop the message tomorrow morning, first thing,” Aziraphale promised.


	3. Diving into it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beaz came to visit and something unexpected happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is smut in this chapter. If you do not want to read it, please stop reading after the separator.  
> This is my first time writing smut. So, if you have any suggestion please feel free to share. Some parts might sound weird because I'm not used to thinking about smut in English, feel free to comment on that as well. There will still be more smut, so I'd be most grateful to have opportunities to improve.

Beaz came to visit a few days after Crowley settled in Aziraphale’s house. 

The Crowleys decided to meet before noon, to minimise the possibility of Aziraphale and Beaz running into each other. Although it’s unlikely that they’d end up fighting, Aziraphale and Crowley thought that’s probably for the best. They also thought it’d prevent the awkward situation of Crowley choosing between two Alphas. 

It worked out well. Crowley had opened all the windows after Aziraphale drove off that morning. By the time Beaz arrived, the air indoor was almost scentless. They barely scrunch their nose when they stepped inside. Even if they did scrunch their nose, it’s probably because they wanted to keep up the sinister persona they’d been maintaining.

“Want something to eat?” Crowley asked after he hung up their jacket and put away the things Beaz brought. 

Beaz cocked a brow at the question so hard it disappeared into the fringes on their pale face. “You cook now?”

“Well, um…Aziraphale prepared some before you came. I just need to heat them up and plate,” he admitted. Blunt fingertips rubbing the hair on his own nape in embarrassment. He didn’t really contribute much to the collection of prepared food. Aziraphale asked what Beaz would like and made most of the dishes Crowley had brought up. 

“Great, then it should be safe to try some,” they said in dramatically mocking relief. Crowley rolled his eyes and transferred two porcelain containers from the fridge into the oven. His heart warmed at the small stickers Aziraphale left all over the kitchen. Some stuck out from the knobs to remind him which temperature and which setting to use. Some on containers to remind him what food was under the tin foil.  _ You won’t always have this _ , he bit himself hard on his tongue,  _ learn to do things yourself _ .

“If this is how long it takes for you to put things into the oven, Tony,” Beaz grumbled, stressing the  _ Tony _ they knew Crowley hated teasingly. “We should probably go to some restaurants.”

“Shut up, you arse,” Crowley shot back and walked towards the couch Beaz was laying on. He’d have to do something to that couch after Beaz left, he made a mental note. Definitely don’t want Aziraphale uncomfortable with another Alpha’s smell on his furniture. 

He guided Beaz around the house and let them see his room. It was almost uncomfortable after years of not sharing a home with them. Crowley was never fond of people stepping into his nest, not even his family members. If Beaz and he were spending some time together, Beaz let him in theirs.  _ It’ll ease their mind _ , he reminded himself of Aziraphale’s words and took a deep breath as Beaz look through the little things he owned. He saw a funny expression their face up when they saw the worn-out duffle bag. Half distaste and half fond. 

“You kept it,” he heard them said and made a noncommittal sound in response. 

Very quickly, this kind of sentiments was too icky for the relationship they had, so Beaz went back to poke around Crowley’s plants. Crowley was grateful for the oven when it finally rang, and he ran towards it as fast as he could.

“’s nice, you know,” Beaz said between their bites. 

“Yep, didn’t burn it. Great improvement,” Crowley sounded a tad too pleased considering that he contributed near to nothing to the tasty dish. 

“I mean the man that took you in,” Beaz rolled their eyes, “what’ve you got to do with the food anyway?”

Crowley didn’t answer that. He knew how kind Aziraphale was to him. Taking a stranger in can lead to many troubles, but Aziraphale took him in anyways. He offered him shelter and food, that is more than most people would do for a stranger. Let alone one from a lower class like Crowley. 

Aziraphale must be from one of the older blood. No governmental worker could have afforded such a house in the countryside. Crowley smelled cheap and weak. Based on what Gabriel said, at least. Many times. When Crowley forget his place and wanted to rub his scent on the Alpha’s skin.

“You alright?” Beaz’s voice knocked him out of his self-pitying session. 

“Managing,” he mumbled and stuffed his mouth full. 

“I’ve always thought it’s unfair for you to suffer this much. It’s difficult to standby and watch, knowing there is so little to do,” they spit the words from their teeth. “Alphas also have duties to fulfil, but they are much less painful, and the privileges of ours.” 

“Tell me about it,” Crowley ground his teeth bitterly. He knew what those privileges were and he knew what it was like to be the one without these privileges.  _ Breath and endure, _ he remembered. 

Omegas rarely left the partner they’re with. Even without legally binding protections, the scent of a partner can keep them safe from harassment. Crowley had been one of them for a long time. Staying with Gabriel because he didn’t know where to go and was too afraid of the world out there. He’s still one of them, if he’s being completely honest. He ran because he knew even in the worst-case scenario he had Beaz to turn to, and stopped running because Aziraphale took him in. He wouldn’t have to worry too much about the troubles Omegas might face if they live alone. 

They talked some more about the old days. Over tea and biscuits, which Aziraphale prepared beforehand, of course. When dinner time arrived, Beaz insisted they leave for a diner nearby. They didn’t need a full meal necessarily, but it was they being thoughtful about staying at another Alpha’s house. So, Crowley agreed and took them to a place Aziraphale brought him to some days ago. 

Beaz insisted on buying some pastries for Crowley to bring back to Aziraphale. As a thank you for taking care of my  _ idiot brother _ , they said. As offended as Crowley pretended to be, he felt loved and trusted for Beaz letting him do what he wanted to do with his life. For once, he’s not pushed around like a burden. 

He felt the weight of the food in his hand and walked into the house. To Aziraphale. He tried not to skip or look too giddy, but he was drowning in his happiness. He knew it was nothing. He was a kind man who took him in and he should be grateful for that, but he couldn’t stop the fluttering of his heart. 

Aziraphale had said he’d be home by dinner time, but there was no one in the house. The windows were opened like the way Crowley left them. He searched around the living room and saw Aziraphale’s oxfords at the doorway, one of them lying on its side. Although he had just met the man a few days ago, he knew it was not normal. Aziraphale fussed about his clothing more than anything. He wouldn’t just leave those treasured shoes like that. 

An ominous feeling crept up his back and he called out, “Aziraphale!” And again and again did he call out, “Aziraphale?” But the man was nowhere to be seen. 

When his throat hurt and the fear for the missing Alpha became pure terror of his own future. 

_ He’s being left alone again.  _

He knew it’s unlikely. Aziraphale’s kindness was too sincere to be fake. He’d gone through too much trouble for Crowley for him to be a liar. And it made no sense given the shoes by the doorway and the fact, but Crowley couldn’t convince himself otherwise. His mind spiralled quickly and he felt his stomach twisted and twisted some more. 

So, he wept. He sobbed his heart out over the false hopes that he had for his own life. There had never been anything to look forwards to. It’s what it is. An Omega’s life. You grit your teeth and you live on, as his parents put it. His arms trembled on their own account until they felt a piece of paper on the countertop. 

It was Aziraphale’s handwriting. He recognised that from the notes he left Crowley every morning with recommendations of places to visit and reminders of where the prepared food was. 

Crowley stared at it, letting his brain re-join him and register the meaning of the words. He waited until everything came back into their place. And he stared still. 

_ Aziraphale was in rut.  _

The realisation dawned on Crowley and he couldn’t bring himself to move. His limb frozen by the horror of knowing that there’s an Alpha in rut nearby, and his inside heated up instinctively, for the exact same reason.

Perhaps he should leave. Beaz’s place wasn’t that far. He could walk there. Okay, who was he kidding? An Omega walking alone on the streets at this hour could mean the exact same thing as staying here. If he stayed and if the worst came to the worst, he’d know who he was facing and wouldn’t be left on the street side with ragged clothes. He’d heard enough stories to make the decision to stay. 

* * *

He locked himself up in his room. Curling up by the window to tune out the Alpha’s scent and sound with the wind. What he didn’t expect was the trembling keens and frustrated growls spilling out from Aziraphale’s room. 

He’d been with Alphas in rut in the past. Alphas expected that from their partners. Ruts were often violent. When an alpha’s in rut, you laid down and grit your teeth through it. Simple. No other way. No  _ “no.” _ Alphas don’t take “no” as answers, especially not when they’re losing their mind over lust and instincts. 

What Crowley had always done was preparing himself before the violence came. Lubricating, stretching, and deep breaths. More deep breaths, wiping the tears away, showering, and go back before the furious Alpha came and took him in the shower. It’s much more tolerable to be fucked into the mattress than into the glass. 

_ Should he do that now? Did Aziraphale expect that from him? Would he go through all that again for Aziraphale?  _

He curled up tighter in his nest and let the questions flooded his mind. He contemplated about the roles of Omegas and Alphas which have plagued him for years. He listened to the stifled sobs and groans from across the door. Until he decided that there’s no reason not to do this for Aziraphale. He did it for others who didn’t care for him half the amount of Aziraphale did. It’s not like there’s much to lose anyways. He’d done this before. Aziraphale, being an Alpha, must have done it before as well. 

It’s not what he’s not prepared for. It’s not what he couldn’t live with. Although he did not expect it to happen so soon, he knew it might happen someday when he decided to stay. He’d much rather know that he tried to help Aziraphale when he’s in rut than living with the guilt of staying outside the door and let him suffer. 

He pushed into the room with shaking hands and the thick and rich scent of nutmeg enveloped him. The lump on the bed shot up and froze.

“Leave,” Aziraphale growled at the door. “Leave, Crowley, I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“I know, you’d never,” he cooed despite the conflicting feeling of hurt and relief. He bit out word by word, reminding himself that he could lessen the misery Aziraphale was in, “I want to help.” 

He willed his legs to take a tentative step further, and reached out with his palm facing up, knowing the warm skin there would give off his scent and, possibly, draw Aziraphale to him.

And it did. 

Aziraphale sniffed and snatched the hand offered to him, pulling the lanky body towards the bed. Crowley yelped as he fell into a heated embrace. He felt Aziraphale’s hand pawing at his robe and he chuckled. Despite the hurtful feeling of being refused at first, he had to admit that it’s impressive how Aziraphale managed to ask Crowley to leave when he’s already this far gone into the lusty state. 

There’s no way this was going to be tender, but Crowley had hoped to lessen the violence as best as he could. He nuzzled at Aziraphale’s jawline and rub his scent onto his own skin. It calmed his Alpha instincts a bit and the pawing slowed down. Crowley shrugged the robe off his shoulders and leaned in. 

When the warm palms of the Alpha in rut touched his skin, it’s almost too much. The caressing burning. Crowley’s heart beat hard in anticipation and nearly burst out of his chest when Aziraphale lapped at his collarbone. The blonde curls tickled his cheek as the Alpha busied in the hollow of Crowley’s shoulder. 

He’s not used to being treated like this. In the past, he was always stripped naked as fast as possible as if the other person in the room did not want to waste a word on him. No flirting, no soothing, nothing. This was different and he started to suspect this wasn’t going to end as bad as his past experiences were. His arm slithered up Aziraphale’s side and back and he felt the muscles tensed for a second before planting his hold on the lump of Aziraphale’s shoulder blade. A thick arm pulled his thigh closer to the crease between his legs and ground his groin to his thigh and they both sighed. 

_ It was almost good _ , Crowley thought to himself. 

He felt the warm palms roaming his body and stilled at his hips, blunt nails digging into the little flesh that he had. Nodding in encouragement, he folded his legs in front of himself and against Aziraphale’s warm body. Still no movement. He spread the legs a bit wider to nudge at the arm beside him and expose his bottom. 

“Sorry,” Aziraphale buried his face in the red locks that fanned out on the sheets and groaned. “I’m really sorry for this, Crowley.”

“’s alright. You don’t have to like this,” Crowley bit out his words. The hurting feeling of being unwanted returned and its fang bit into his heart. 

“That’s not what I meant, Crowley,” he whispered. “I wanted to treat you well, take you out for meals, get to know you more…not like this.”

“That’s some old-fashioned courtship, Alpha,” he responded with a sarcastic grin. The possibility of being courted by the man in front of him made Crowley’s heart leapt, but he willed it to calm.  _ Don’t get your hopes up _ ,  _ stupid Omega. This is all Alpha-in-rut talk _ . 

Except he knew it wasn’t, because the next moment Aziraphale spoke, voice shaking. “Please, Crowley. Don’t make this harder for me,” he said while he gathered the pulled open garment back around Crowley’s lean shoulder and pushed himself back against the headboard. “Please.” 

“I can go back outside if you don’t want this,” Crowley sat back onto his heels. He shivered as the cold air touched his exposed chest and the shame of putting himself out there only to be refused like this crawled onto his shoulder and made him want to collapse. “I just thought…you know…I might be able to ease the…um…suffering…”

“You can, yes,” Aziraphale shut his eyes for a moment, his pants got heavier. “I want to have a proper chance to treat you, is all. I want to protect you from the harm…ah…,” he grunted one hand went down to apply pressure on his erection. “Not…not adding more to that.”

“I’ve gone through things like this before. You don’t need to be careful. ‘m not gonna break,” Crowley offered again, cursing himself in the back of his head for giving in again to his Omega nature. It must be the burning Alpha scent that’s driving him. 

“I don’t want to do that to you, Crowley,” Aziraphale groaned frustratedly. “I wanted every nice thing for you, not this. Not satisfying a lusty Alpha. Not forcing you into another cycle of suppression.”

“Fine!” Crowley yelled and fl himself out of the soft bed. “Do whatever you please.”

Feeling drowned in embarrassment and shame Crowley wanted to storm out that room as soon as possible. But the moment his fingers laid on the doorknob, a pair of thick forearms circled his waist. He was pushed back into the mattress. Aziraphale straddled him and weighed him down with his own body. 

He bared his teeth and snarled at Crowley. The aggressive posture faded in mere seconds and the tip of his nose dipped down into the Crowley’s jawline to nudge at the scent gland there. This was not a snarled to threat and Crowley knew that. He’d been subjected to predatorial snarls before and this was nothing like it. 

It was an Alpha’s instinct to overpower an Omega. He tilted his head aside to expose more soft flesh for the Alpha to work with. 

“It’s alright,” he cooed, enjoying the friction of the white crown of Aziraphale’s hair on his chin. “You don’t have to think too much about it. It’s not like I’ve never done this before. Not a precious virgin or anything,” his mocking voice mixed with self-deprecation. “You know… just... take what you need.”

Aziraphale growled possessively at that. Crowley pulled up one of his hand to caress the soft blonde hair there and pleaded, “just…please don’t see me as a dirty Omega,” and he felt Aziraphale froze. The temperature of the room dropped instantly. 

“Don’t say that, Crowley,” Aziraphale raised his eyes to look into Crowley’s golden ones. Blue eyes flooded with pain. “You are the purest, most beautiful person I’ve met. I’m sorry that this is happening, but I’m on the path that I cannot walk back. The moment you turned away, my instincts went crazy. 

“Let me at least make this good for you, please?” He whispered the words into Crowley’s ear as he reached down to pulled on the bow that’s holding the robe together. His warm palm slid under the fabric and rub the now accessible flesh under it. “And if you are not repulsed of me by then, maybe you’d let me take care of you?” 

Crowley keened at the burning heat on his pelvis, melting into it. He mewled in confusion when he felt the warm scent hovering over him was fading. Just when he was about to open his eyes to look for Aziraphale, he felt wet warmth surrounded his cock and bucked backwards into the mattress to pull himself away from it.

“Not good?” Aziraphale’s mouth left him to ask. 

“Ngk…Nnnever had that,” he answered in great difficulty. 

“Want me to stop?” And Crowley thought about it. He thought hard about the seconds of warm wetness around his sensitive skin. And he shook his head in desperation. 

Aziraphale chuckled as he took Crowley back in his mouth and, a moment later, pushed a lubricated finger into Crowley, who, surprisingly, was already stretched and slick. 

The redhead moaned loudly and arched his back for the added sensation from the gentle vibration, curls dragging on the plush pillow. When he noticed the pause of the finger in him, he looked down and saw Aziraphale’s questioning arched brow. He winced in embarrassment, “didn’t want to get hurt.”

“Your partners never did this for you[1]?” Aziraphale asked with a pained expression on his face. When Crowley shook his head , he pulled out his finger and climbed back up to Crowley.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” 

“If it’s you, yes. You’ve been kind to me,” he smiled weakly. “I’d give myself to you.” 

“That is not why I want to be kind to you, Crowley. I hope you know that. But, you can’t say that to an Alpha in rut! How am I supposed to let you go?”

“You’re not.” 

“No.” With that, Aziraphale dove down again and nipped his way down to Crowley’s groin. Having his legs lifted over the sturdy shoulder, Crowley felt open-mouthed kisses lingering on his inner thighs and reached the stretched hole of his. He squirmed away from the sensation again. 

“Fine. A step at a time, yes?” Aziraphale pulled away as he sighed against his skin and took him back into his mouth, stretching the muscles more at the same time. 

Crowley’s mind couldn’t really register the things happening on him. He vaguely realised the return of Aziraphale’s warmth and scent. He purred at the mix of spice and fragrance when he felt the warm body rubbing against his again. His light sweet scent cut through the mellow and heavy smell of bay and nutmeg of Aziraphale. 

A blunt swell nudged against his opening and he keened, lifting his legs to cling onto Aziraphale’s plump hips. With his heels on the smalls of his back, Crowley pushed himself up against Aziraphale’s dick. 

“Shhh…my dear, hold still and let me,” Aziraphale comforted him with gentle rubs on the side of his flat stomach. They were so close. Crowley could feel the chest rumbling and it comforted him. It was all very new to Crowley. He tried to feel the move of muscles as the penetration deepened. 

He’d never experienced any entering that’s not a sharp pain shooting through his core. This is actually nice. He closed his eyes in anticipation of the movements but Aziraphale held still.

“You don’t like it?” He asked softly, fearing that he did something wrong. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Aziraphale stuttered.

“’s good, you can move.”

“I can feel you pulsing, it’s beautiful,” Aziraphale laid a kiss on his forehead and Crowley purred at the encouragement. 

He rocked his hips experimentally, realising his slick was not yet dried out. Aziraphale let him and nuzzled affectionately at his neck as he did. 

“Is it good?” He asked with uncertainty, worrying that the stillness of the Alpha is dissatisfaction. 

“You are wonderful. Is this good for you as well?” 

Crowley made a noise in response and turned his blushed face away. He could feel the heat blooming on his skin mirroring the warmth flowing out of Aziraphale. 

“Let me take care of you, yes?” Aziraphale anchored his hips into the mattress and started rocking harder into him. The demonstration of strength was underlined with gentleness and that made Crowley’s heart fluttered. He moaned desperately and moving his limbs around to get a better hold of Aziraphale. One of his hands rubbed up the spine and tugged on the short blonde curls at the base of Aziraphale’s skull, drawing out a satisfied groan. Another laid across the broad back and the blunt nails dug into the meat on top of his shoulder blade, creating dimples in the soft flesh. His legs clung tighter onto Aziraphale’s waist and held him steadily down against the lanky body.

Aziraphale might have said something during the process but he was too far gone into the sensation to register the words. He keened and moaned with the movements for a while. It’s difficult to tell when the slick didn’t run out. Until, all of a sudden, the Alpha growled and flipped them. He laid on top of the plush body and felt the knot swelled in him. 


	4. Sinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovely people, I'm posting late from where I am. But, anyways, here is the continuation of the previous smut, from Aziraphale's perspective. Hope you're all having a nice week.

Aziraphale’s self-restraint, which barely there since Crowley entered his room in a robe, snapped when Crowley turned away and laid those fingers on the doorknob. Aziraphale wanted those finger on him and was too far gone in his lustful state to have any self-restraint to let Crowley leave. He wanted to take Crowley apart and watch him come undone under his hands, and of course, around his knot. This is not a good direction to go, his last whisper of reason scolded, but it did nothing.

Before he realised what’s happening, he trapped Crowley’s lean body between his swelled one and the soft mattress, and he snarled. This was nothing like what he hoped to have with Crowley. Frustratedly, he nuzzled at the scent gland that smelled like the sweetest Spring afternoon with the tip of his nose and sighed. 

“It’s alright,” he felt the throat he’s leaning on vibrated and it felt unbearably intimate. “You don’t have to think too much about it. It’s not like I’ve never done this before. Not a precious virgin or anything,” Crowley audibly swallowed and it’s painful to listen to the masked sorrow. 

Aziraphale’s heart broke when he heard Crowley said there’s no need to be careful because he’s not a virgin anymore. There must have been someone who hurt him bad. Very bad. Someone smashed Crowley’s self-esteem to take advantage of him. Used him. These thoughts enraged him while the urge to treat the beautiful creature with utter tenderness kept a thread of rationality in him. 

“You know… take what you need,” Aziraphale felt fingers woven into his curls, which must have been damp and sticky from the inner struggles he’d be going through since he realised he’s going to be in rut with the lanky redhead whom he felt attracted to a ridiculous amount after they met. 

“Just…please don’t see me as a dirty Omega,” and he froze.  _ How would anyone feed those cruel words to him?  _ He couldn’t believe what kind of treatment Crowley was subjected to in the past and he had a feeling from the pained voice he spoke in when he first rejected him, turning Crowley away might be doing more harm than good.

“Please don’t say that, Crowley,” he said while trying to look into the beautiful amber eyes. He might be wrong, of course. This might be his horny mind trying to convince himself that this was alright when it totally wasn’t. It’s hard to tell anymore. Everything as jammed together. 

“You are the purest, most beautiful person I’ve met. I’m sorry that this is happening, but I’m on the path that I cannot walk back. Let me at least make this good for you, yes?” All he could do was to focus on making it good for Crowley, so that, at least, if things turned out to be disastrous, like most of his relationships are, he’d known he’d made an effort. For what, he did not know. “And if you are not repulsed of me by then, maybe you’d let me take care of you?” 

There’s no objection from Crowley so he proceeded and peeled open the robe wrapping around the slender body. He’s using whatever self-control he had to not push his aching arousal into Crowley right at the moment. Preparation, he reminded himself. 

That is why all he could do when he felt the knobs of bones under Crowley’s smooth skin was sigh in contentment. Listening to the gentle keening coming from the body under him, he pulled himself down to the lower part of the beautiful body. He smelled clean and fresh, like the shower gel Aziraphale kept at home and it triggered something primal in his chest. He growled softly and took Crowley into his mouth.

Crowley bucked away from his mouth, sounding alarms in Aziraphale’s hazy mind. “Not good?” He panicked, wanted to know if he’d done something the other person didn’t like, only to learn something that sunk his stomach deeper. 

“Ngk…Nnnever had that,” Crowley bit out. 

_ Someone had the privilege to have him but not even had the decency to take care of him?  _ He felt the protective flame rising up in his chest again, which is not a good emotion for an Alpha to have in bed. Potential violence. Only this was different because as soon as he laid eyes on the body spread out in front of him with an apologetic expression, which he had absolutely no reason to be, his heart softened. 

“Want me to stop?” He asked softly and received an eye-full of crimson hair after a brief hesitation. He dived back down to take Crowley back into his mouth, moving his tongue around the heated length and enjoying the loud moaning he earned and humming happily with a nose full of the fresh scent on the skin. Fumbling a bit with the lubricant he kept in the drawer nearby, he managed to slick up his fingers before he pushed one of them into Crowley. 

It was warm and slick and stretched, not sufficiently, but surely stretched. Aziraphale couldn’t understand why it was. He must have paused in the confusion because Crowley looked down and with embarrassment on his face, he explained, “didn’t want to get hurt.”

“Your partners never did this for you?” he asked. 

It dawned on Aziraphale. The truth of Crowley’s past, the reason he ran to retrieve the application on the day they met, it was way worse than Aziraphale thought it was. He had not been appreciated for so long and it took a hard hit on Crowley’s self-worth. He’d have to fix this. 

“Are you sure it’s okay?” 

“If it’s you, yes. You’ve been kind to me,” he got a weak smile in response. “I’d give myself to you.” 

The last bit was definitely doing something to his Alpha mind. “That is not why I want to be kind to you, Crowley. I hope you know that. But, you can’t say that to an Alpha in rut! How am I supposed to let you go?”

“You’re not.” 

“No.” With that, Aziraphale dove down again and nipped his way down to Crowley’s groin. He tasted every inch of the skin on his way down and committed the texture and scent to his memory. He lifted the long legs over his shoulder and buried his head between them. He peppered open-mouthed kisses on his inner thighs and teased the stretched hole with his tongue, grimaced when he tasted the lube he just spread there. Crowley tried to buck away from the sensation again. 

“Fine. A step at a time, yes?” Aziraphale chuckled softly, deciding to change tactics. He took Crowley’s length back into his mouth and carried on fingering the slick hole. Crowley’s done plenty but it wouldn’t be enough. Not if he might be knotting him in his lusty haze. He could barely contain himself now, he didn’t think he’d be able to pull away before the knot formed. He bobbed his head a few times as he opened Crowley up with fingers, listening carefully to the moans and keens. When he felt the vein pulsing in his mouth, he pulled away with a pop. 

He went back up to rub his scent on Crowley’s skin and growled in satisfaction when he noticed their scents started to mix. He felt Crowley’s chest vibrate with his purrs and it drove Aziraphale’s desire to a new height, his cock having a mind of its own, nudged against the warm wetness. 

He quickly rubbed some more cold lube onto his own cock, hoping it’d be warm enough by the time it touched Crowley, and pushed in as Crowley keened. Guiding the long legs to stay on his hips, while he anchored himself into the blessing heat. In hindsight, he shouldn’t have done that, not right then anyway, because as soon as he was seated, Crowley dug into his hip with those heels and impaled himself deeper. 

He almost lost control. 

He had to lay a palm against the flat chest, which felt insanely smooth and firm, and cooed, “shhh…my dear, hold still and let me,” His chest rumbled to keep his self-restraint as he held still. It was a slow and torturing process., He’d do anything to make sure it’s not painful for Crowley.

It’s difficult to tell what it’s like for Crowley with those eyes closed, so he decided to hold still for a while longer. 

“You don’t like it?” Aziraphale heard the hurt voice beneath him, the edges breaking.

It was almost impossible to speak with all of his energy keeping himself in check. All he could grit out from between his teeth was “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Somehow, he was lucky enough to have the gentle voice of Crowley ensure him that it’s okay to move. 

So, he did. 

“I can feel you pulsing, it’s beautiful,” Aziraphale sighed against Crowley’s forehead, kissing the strands of red hair there. 

Things became better very soon. Crowley purred, which was now Aziraphale’s favourite sound in the world, rocking himself against Aziraphale with the legs circling the lush hips. 

“Is it good?” Crowley huffed warm air in Aziraphale’s ear. He looked down into the pools of gold, full of nerves and worries. They tickled something deeper in his mind.  _ Oh, so this was what the questions were about.  _ The words pulled at his heart. 

“You are wonderful,” Aziraphale breathed out his praises. “Is this good for you?” He hoped everything was different. More delicate. More meaningful. He could still do just that, as much as possible anyways. Make everything a tad more meaningful. He leaned over to whisper into Crowley’s delicate ear shells. “Let me take care of you, yes?”

He started rolling his hips and feeling himself buried deeper into Crowley. Feeling the bony body biting into his own flesh made him unbelievably happy. He felt the long arms scrambled around him and he groaned in satisfaction as Crowley’s fingers tugged on his hair and curled up against his skin. 

Crowley’s legs suddenly clung onto his round waist tighter. So tight, it was nearly painful, and he got worried. “Does it hurt?” Aziraphale asked, nudging at the sharp jawline in front of him. Crowley didn’t answer. He had lost the ability to string a sentence together sometime in their activity. All sounds that had left Crowley’s lips were moans and keens. The Alpha slowed down to test if the slick dried out or if the movements were hurting the redhead. It doesn’t feel like it. He carried on. 

The slowing down of the movements triggered something in Crowley and Aziraphale felt the legs around his hips tightened and the lanky body tried to rut itself against Aziraphale’s plush one. It’s not long before he felt the muscle around his cock spasmed, followed by warm cum spurted out between their touching stomach.

It was too late to pull out before the knot. All the Alpha had time to do was flipping them and let the lean body lay on top of his as the swell grew. Crowley’s body was pliant in his embrace and the scent enticing, he had to turn away, allowing the gravity to pull his head down into the soft pillow. With a frustrated grunt, Aziraphale forced his fangs to sink into his own lower lip hard enough to draw blood. The pain and metal smell reminded him of how much he was already taking from the Omega in his arms. He’s not going to claim him as his without some proper courting, and most importantly, definitely not without his consent. 

Aziraphale used his fingers to smooth out Crowley’s mussed red locks carefully. The delicate skull was now tucked nicely under his chin as if it belonged there all along. The thought of Crowley staying by his side made his Alpha instincts tingled with excitement. Aziraphale bent his legs to better accommodate Crowley, whose long legs now loosely straddling his hips. He pressed a palm possessively over Crowley’s tailbone, pressing him down. He groaned, feeling the knot swelled more as their body settled.

Aziraphale rolled his hip upwards for a few more times and stopped when he felt the tension intensifying. “Rest, Omega,” he whispered when he felt the ejaculation started. “I’ll clean you up nicely when it ends.” He smiled with satisfaction when he heard a needy keen from Crowley, who simply pressed his cheek onto Aziraphale’s bare chest harder without saying a word.

It hurt. It’s so much worse than being pierced with sharp fangs and the knot swelling up inside of him. The total emptiness swallowed Crowley as he laid on top of the plush body of Aziraphale. He had no idea what he expected. He didn’t know why he’d thought that someone would want to claim him. 

Crowley cursed at his weak Omega heart. It was beating heavily in anticipation when he felt the swell of Aziraphale’s knot, but as he sensed the smell of copper erupted, it turned to lead. He did not feel the claiming bite. 

He wasn’t claimed. Again. 

He would never be claimed. He felt cold and alone and despair and disgusted all at once as the knot swelled up inside him. He was in pain and for nothing. 

Deep in his heart, he’d always knew he was unworthy of an Alpha. He remembered the burn of judgmental stares accusing him of incapable of breeding. The disgusted smacks on his sharp hipbone from his mother when he pushed his food around. He remembered being jealous of other Omegas and the protective arms of their Alphas on their soft hips. 

He remembered the time, the first and only time, he asked Gabriel for a kiss when they were having sex–well, when Gabriel was fucking him, the Alpha snorted and tilted his head away. Crowley stretched his neck to plant a soft kiss on his chin anyways–mostly because he didn’t know better–and earned himself a fierce hissing warning. 

“I’m trying to focus,” the voice so cold and harsh smote his arousal right at that moment. He turned his head away, letting the unstoppable tears roll down into the pillow. His movements earned him another warning tsk but nothing more. It wasn’t long until the sharp pain between his thighs pulled him back into the reality from wallowing in self-pitying. The slick dried out soon after his arousal died. 

Gabriel didn’t care. He thrust a few more times, unforgiving and uncaring, and grunted as he cum. The Alpha’s not-yet-softened cock pulled out of Crowley’s hurting hole and the muscular body rolled off the bed to clean himself up. Crowley forced himself up to sit on some tissue paper, not exactly looking forward to sleep under a cum-stained cover. 

Sex had been like that for him ever since. His skin remained unmarked except for torn of the tender flesh between his legs. His arse always hurt like hell afterwards, mostly because he never managed to stay interested for long enough and the slick run out. He could prepare himself beforehand, but there’s no way to add in more lube during the sex act. Especially not when the tiniest movements earned him stern stares and disapproving clicks of the tongue. 

It didn’t matter. Everything ended up the same anyways. Just the way everything should be. Not that he had any reasons to believe otherwise. Fine, perhaps his heart might have beat forcefully against the ribcage hopefully after the soft praises Aziraphale showered him in every time they greeted each other this past few days. 

He had to leave. He couldn’t survive another heartbreak. Not so soon anyway.

He decided to run away again.

When Crowley felt the knot inside him deflated enough to slip out, he carefully lifted himself up from Aziraphale’s round and soft body. The Alpha protested and pulled him back down. 

“Want to clean up,” he mumbled against the chest he laid on. 

“Of course, darling,” the Alpha sat up in a swift motion, carefully transferring Crowley into a warm pile of blankets on his side. “Wait here.”

Aziraphale came back with a damp cloth and a towel. He laid the towel under Crowley’s hips and guided him to lay on his back, catching most of the spend he left inside of the Omega. With a warm damp cloth, he carefully lifted up parts of the blankets, rubbing away the tacky dried semen on the flat belly and between the thighs.

After several trips between the bathroom and the bed, every inch of Crowley’s skin was taken care of and clean. Aziraphale warmed some Jasmine scented lotion in his palms and rubbed it over Crowley’s body, massaging the lean muscles underneath.

Throughout all this, the redhead did not say a word. His breaths mostly still with some exceptions when the plush fingers brush over the sensitive parts of his skin. His Omega instincts were howling in confusion, deeply satisfied with all the careful aftercare from the Alpha and anxious from the lack of a claiming bite. 

When all was done, Aziraphale returned to the warmth under the blankets and held Crowley to his chest, arms possessively curling around the lanky body.

Eventually, Crowley knew the time was up. He carefully slithered out of the warm embrace, loathing himself for leaving and wanting to stay. His limbs still shaky when he frantically pulled together his travel bag which he just unpacked not so long ago.

Shutting the front door of the welcoming house behind him, he knew he only had one person to turn to. As much as he’d like to get a life of his own, he fucked up yet again and did not deserve another chance.

Beaz greeted him with a warm embrace at their door, not throwing a question at him to further crush his shattered heart. Crowley thanked them for that, silently, of course. He would have gotten himself kicked out again with such a demonstration of appreciation. 

His sibling helped him settle down and whipped out some leftover from the fridge to feed him. Things went swimmingly as far as Crowley concerned. At least it did until Beaz smelt the scent of Alpha’s rut on him and snapped. 

Their small torso rumbled violently and snarled, “what did that bastard do?” Their bone-white teeth baring. “I’m going to snap his neck,” they rushed to the front door with heavy steps. 

“No, Beaz!” Crowley cried out loud, snatching the thin wrist before they stormed out and committed murder. “I offered. He did so much…”

“You used sex as some kind of quid-pro-quo arrangement?” They threw Crowley’s bony fingers off in a frustrated growl. “I cannot believe you, Anthony Crowley! Why are you doing this to yourself?” 

“I wanted to help,” the Omega’s voice waned. “I wanted to…” 

“Fine, why are you here, then?” 

“Ummm…”

“Look at me,” their voice tightened. “Why?”

“He didn’t claim me,” Crowley whispered, tears spilling down his cheeks. 

“You wanted him to claim you? How long have you known each other? What if you want to leave someday? Um? What if you realise he isn’t who you want to spend your life with?” As tiny as the Alpha looked, their voice was impossibly stern and loud. Crowley winced at the rage. 

“That's silly, brother,” they walked closer to Crowley and planted a comforting palm on his back. “And you know it. You need more time to determine if you want to be claimed by an Alpha. The bond cannot be easily broken. You have to think twice before it.

"It might be weird to have your younger sibling telling you this, but belonging to an Alpha doesn’t make you a better Omega, and not belonging to an Alpha doesn’t make you a bad one. 

"You said it was you who offered the sex today and I saw how much efforts the bastard made when I visited you. I don’t think he was using you. But I am very disappointed in him and you. What were you thinking!” 

They knew what their brother was thinking. He didn’t think he had a choice. No Omega thought they had a choice. Cruelty suffocated them so early on in their lives and they felt hopeless to fight for anything for themselves. It’s driving they mad but they’re working on it. Trying to change the situation as much as they could. 


	5. Floating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm a bit behind on replying to your comments, but I'll catch up soon. You're all so kind <3  
> Hope you like this chapter :)

Aziraphale’s eyes snapped open moments after he flipped himself, extended arm falling directly onto the mattress. He was used to waking up in his empty bed. His bed was always empty. Except, it wasn’t last night. His rut abruptly extinguished by the mating activity earlier. He sat up, eyes frantically searching the room. There was no trace of Crowley. 

The lovely redhead was nowhere to be seen. 

Of course, he left. He probably felt disgusted for what he went through. Aziraphale dragged his feet into another room frustratedly, shoulder slumped, expecting the disappointed face of the Omega. 

They always thought he was too soft. Not forceful enough during sex was a sign of not being able to offer protection. They always said that. They’d take a deep breath out of relief when they realised there wasn’t a claiming mark on their skin. He could never forget the disdain on the Omegas’ faces when they put on their clothes and left. He wasn’t worth their time. He wasn’t capable of protecting them. His partners said words like that to him over and over again. He wanted to shout at them and make them understand that an Alpha didn’t have to hurt their Omega to protect them. He didn’t. Because it wasn’t who he was. Also because he could expect they snorting out their responses.  _ How are you going to defend your ownership on me, then? Have a nice chat over biscuit and tea?  _ He was hurting enough as it was. He didn’t need more daggers driven through his heart. 

He remembered their offended expression when they saw him sitting against the headboard, soft belly squished above the thick thighs. He remembered a soft face of an Omega looked down on him with hooded eyelids and spit out the words.  _ Do me a favour. Don’t move. Your fats all rolled together when you try to sit up. _ He didn’t try to remember who it was. It didn’t matter. Not anymore. 

He had no idea why they fucked him anyways. After a while, he stopped searching for partners. It became too painful to expose himself to people knowing that they’d only attack him with harsh comments. 

Aziraphale cleaned himself up with rough scrubs and overly heated water. It stung for a while but soon faded into a bearable numb. He dragged himself out of the steaming air, into Crowley’s nest which the Omega set up a few days ago. It was empty. Not entirely empty but Aziraphale could tell that all his belongings are gone, leaving the blankets and pillows Aziraphale bought for him on the soft bed. 

He buried himself into it, enjoying the comforting softness and scent. Another habit that an Alpha should have had. He didn’t care much anymore. The day seemed darker than it actually was. The air still, almost suffocating. Aziraphale pressed his face harder into the welcoming fabric.

It still smelled like the sweet Omega. Soft floral and fruity. Like a pleasant afternoon. He buried himself into what he had hoped would be the start of many courting gifts, attempting to smother his shattered heart in it. Crowley was gone. Gone for good. Gone because he knew Aziraphale wasn’t good enough. 

There is no way Crowley’s coming back. He knew that. He exploited the vulnerable Omega for his rut. Being used by an undesirable Alpha like him. How disgusting it must have been. 

Aziraphale didn’t care anymore. Not really. All he had now was the abandoned nest that smelled like Crowley. It’s enough and he could have it without putting others in harm’s way. Until the scent faded. At least. 

Frantically, he stood up and shut all the windows, attempting to seal the scent in as long as possible. He dumped his body back into the bed and drifted off into an uneasy sleep, enveloped in the warmth and sweetness of the Omega, which he knew would fade soon.

He smiled, but it was a tear-stained curve on Aziraphale’s lips. 

“I felt safe with him,” Crowley whispered, unable to meet the worrying gaze of his sibling. “He was lonely and I wanted to stay with him.” 

“So why aren’t you there?” Beaz squinted their eyes in a judgemental stare. 

“I told you,” Crowley wailed dramatically, burying his face in his palm. “He didn’t claim me.

“Gabriel didn’t claim me,” he spit out between the sobs. “I hated it. I hated myself for compromising like that. Letting him do whatever he wanted and not giving damn about what I wanted, what I needed.

“I don’t want that anymore. I thought things would change someday, you know?” Crowley squeezed the muscles on his face into a wryly smile. “I thought he’d want to keep me.”

“And what made you think he didn’t?” 

“He didn’t claim me.” 

“Arrr… Talking to you is like singing to a tree!” Beaz groaned. “Listen to yourself. Remind me what you just told me about the past week. 

“Alphas don’t prepare packed meals for an Omega they met at work. Alphas don’t care if Omegas felt uncomfortable to their scents. They don’t prepare scentless pillows and quilts for an Omega staying under their roof. And they don’t air the fucking room to drain their own scent from their own fucking house to let another Alpha in just to make sure the Omega they brought home feel safer this way.

“You know all that, I take it?” Beaz spurted everything out without pausing in between. And, yes, Crowley knew all that. None of it made sense. 

“I’m confused.”

“Well, you should be,” They spat. “Think! You have a skull. There must be something inside. Use it!”

Beaz was impatient, but Crowley knew them. Deep.

Growing up with an Alpha sibling, Crowley had always envied the confidence they had in them. They made decisions and follow through. Crowley got pushed around all the time. He later realised that even if he made careful decisions, there was no way he’d be allowed to do what he wanted to.

Beaz was frustrated with the inequality between different secondary gender. Their resentment and frustration are probably not as much as Omegas’, but still, they cared. While Crowley appreciated the understanding Beaz was showing, he didn’t feel as hopeful as his sibling. 

Being the only Omega in his family always made him unsure of himself. He had always been the tag-along. After being with Gabriel, his self-esteem took a huge toll. There had been hardly anything he wouldn’t persuade himself to do if he thought obedience meant acceptance from others. 

For far too many times, Crowley gritted his teeth through activities that Gabriel wanted him to do, even though he would rather not have done. 

It’s what it was, he thought to himself. It’s what being an Omega was.

As the burden of being an Omega grew, it became more difficult to talk to Beaz about the hardship. Their approaches, coming from a place of being privileged, had been too confrontational to Crowley’s liking. He knew they cared, about the cruel reality and him, but their responses always made the helplessness of being an Omega more prevalent than ever. 

He knew Beaz’s idea about Aziraphale’s kindness was true, but could he ever go back? He had probably angered Aziraphale, the angelic Alpha who took him in and took care of him. And even if he did, how many more chances would he have? How much longer could he believe in a happy ending? 

“Hello, this is Aziraphale. Is this Crowley, um Anthony’s sibling?” The Alpha’s mellow voice was shaky on the other end of the line. 

“Yes, Beaz. No, I am not letting him go back,” Beaz replied without even greeting the other person. “I am going to hang up now.”

“Wwwait a second, please,” Aziraphale spurted out. “I just want to…ohh go back…he’s got to you safely now. Then, it’s alright. I’ll stay away.” His voice died down as the sentence proceeded, the trembles overpowering the words. 

“You are a stupid arse Alpha, you know that?” Beaz snorted, interrupting. 

“I’ve heard that plenty of times, yes,” Aziraphale admitted defeatedly. “This will be it then. Sorry for the um everything, I guess.”

“Call me in five,” Beaz said coldly and hung up without saying anything else.

Aziraphale stared at the speaker numbly, not knowing what was going on. 

The next five minutes were a mess in Beaz’s house. They prepared a spare bedroom, dug out some blankets and towels, pushed their brother into the bathroom and pulled a bath for him, all fragrant bubbles and dimmed light. 

“You will tidy yourself up and go the bed. Don’t overthink stuff,” they then shut the door in Crowley’s confused face. 

Beaz called Aziraphale after exactly five minutes. Aziraphale had been waiting next to the phone, eyes on the clock, debating with himself about when to dial. “Yes!” He exclaimed the moment the phone rang. 

“Tell me what happened,” They ordered so Aziraphale did, with countless apologies in between. As he spoke, he felt his chest tightened with guilt for mistreating Crowley and ached with knowing that he will never see the Omega again in his life. 

“I didn’t intend to take advantage of Crowley, but it made no difference. In the end, I abused his trust anyways,” Aziraphale paused after his account of what happened the night before. “I’d understand if you want to take legal actions or want some compensation.”

“Nope,” popping the word, “my stupid brother wouldn’t want that.”

“Of course, yes, whatever Crowley wants,” Aziraphale frantically agreed. 

“He was upset because you didn’t claim him, which is the only reason I’m talking to you right now. As weird as it sounds, I thank you for that. His life would be a total mess if you claim him under such a circumstance. 

“I understand that claiming would have been the easier thing to do. Instincts and all that. I imagined there is some self-induced wound on yourself.

“When I visited, I saw the things you did for him. I’m not saying that I’m not mad about you fucking my brother, but I also know that in rut, things can get out of control when an Alpha and an Omega are in the same room. And from what that idiot told me, he kinda asked for it.”

“Well, that’s hardly the truth, he didn’t think he had a choice, I think,” Aziraphale explained. “He might have thought it’s expected of him. Given that I brought him home, he seemed to have thought it’s a way to pay me back. I should have left the house completely. I’m sorry I didn’t.” 

“Anyways, things happened during ruts and heats. It’s the curse of people like us. Our nature makes choices for us even though we might not mean it. Tony being more upset about not being claimed is telling of how fucked up the world is, you know. He’s got some mental scars from the previous relationship, but, again, I think not claiming him is the one thing you did right,” Beaz cleared their throat. 

“Enough of me rambling. What do you want?”

“No, no, nothing. I’ll leave Crowley alone. I’ve hurt him enough as it is,” Aziraphale felt air rushing out of his lungs. How could he, how could anyone ask for anything more after causing such harms? His breathing became difficult as he spoke his words. “I just want to know he’s safely reunited with you.”

“I can hear that you’re not doing well. Come talk to him if you want another chance. You’ll have to talk to me first, of course. If you mean no harm, perhaps some explanation would do Tony good. I tried to calm him with a nice bath and a nap for now.” 

“Yes, of course. Yes…um…I’ll get going then. I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Aziraphale practically shouted, eyes darting around the house making a list of the items he should bring with him as Beaz gave him the address of their place. He straightened himself out and hopped into his car, palms feeling inordinately clammy. 

Aziraphale picked up a bundle of purple hydrangea on his way there. During the red lights, he stared at the vibrant petals and chewed on the inside of his mouth. Things would have worked out a lot better if he didn’t have irregular ruts. Or if he’d left the house completely for a few days when he realised he was feeling funny. Or if he’ been more attractive. Or if he’d known Crowley earlier. Or if…oh, bother, if he weren’t him, a lot of things would be different. Mostly better, perhaps. 

As he stood in front of Beaz’s place waiting for the door to open, Aziraphale felt his body literally buzzed in anxiety. The door opened for a moment then shut with a loud slam. In a split second, the glimpse of panic on Crowley’s face froze his blood. Should he even be here? Hasn’t he done enough harm?

“Why are you here?” He heard the Omega saying from behind the door, voice tight and muffled through the wood. 

“I was hoping to, at least, to apologise,” Aziraphale forced himself to stay calm. “For the misery that I put you through, that is.” It still pained him to say. He wanted so much for intimacy to be something special he could share with his partner. He wanted it so much to not be a misery.

“’s not misery,” he heard the tender voice better now. The door was pushed over a slit and Crowley’s words spilled out from there. Aziraphale savoured it, wanting to drown in those sounds and breaths that came out in between. 

“It’s just…I cannot go through it again. I cannot be there caring for someone, laying under someone, possibly falling in love with someone and not be wanted, be loved back. 

“I tried to push myself through it before. ‘ppose you know. Believing that one day things will get better. That’s why we met. They won’t. It’s just who…what I am. Unwanted. Unlovable. I realised it now. There is no escape from it. And I’d rather not give someone my all and have ‘em torn and tossed aside or thrown back into my face. 

“I’d rather be alone. It’d hurt less. In the long run, I guess.” By the end of his speech, his voice was hoarse and broken by sobs. 

Aziraphale reached his shaking hand into the house from the slim opening. He felt a soft hand, slightly sticky with dried tear, holding his hand gently. 

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” Aziraphale breathed out. “I had hoped, well, I guessed it’s ridiculous, but I had hoped I’d have the opportunity to take care of you. 

Anyways, I’ll leave the flowers at the door, you can take them inside later, if you like, or throw them out.” As his sentence ended, Aziraphale pulled his hand back.

Crowley grasped on his wrist harder. Shaky bony fingers dug into the meat painfully. He pushed the door open more with his body, golden eyes peeking out, terrified. 

“Please don’t go,” he pleaded, chocking on his own words. 

“Of course,” Aziraphale swallowed hard, unsure of what the words meant. They fell into an uneasy silence. They could hear each other’s heavy breaths through the gap between them. Aziraphale tried to focus on the dimming sky, instead of being drawn into the pattern of Crowley’s breathing and his sweet scent that was flowing into his nostrils. No luck. His mind wouldn’t settle for anything that wasn’t related to Crowley. He felt his breathing syncing with the Omega on the other side of the door. Weirdly, he felt some parts of his guts warming up. 

“Would you like to come in? For tea?” The other man asked softly. 

“I’d love that, if it’s alright,” he answered as he used his empty hand to stand up and helped Crowley up gently. His legs were numb from the crouching position, but he managed. The relief that Crowley was still willing to see him flooded his mind and no other things mattered. 

As he walked inside, the smell of earth and moss rushed into his lungs, making his nostrils flared in alert. 

“That’d be Beaz’s smell,” Crowley spoke beside him. Aziraphale heard him hissed when he tried to move his feet and his hold on Aziraphale’s tightened for a slip second. Aziraphale secretly adored the moment and being able to help, as trivial as it may have seemed. 

“I always say they smell like dirt,” Crowley added in mock disgust when he saw Beaz sitting 

“Shut up,” Beaz snorted as they descended from the stairs. “Nice to meet you, Aziraphale. I didn’t air the room in advance on purpose. I’d like to remind you that I’m also an Alpha and will, definitely, defend my territory and family at all cost.” 

Aziraphale’s jaw dropped.  _ They are so small. _ He didn’t expect that. Not from how confident and in charge they sounded when they talked on the phone and the way they spoke now. 

They gestured at the island on the edge of the kitchen and all three of them sat down. Two gingerly and one as if it was their home. Well, it was their place after all, but the confidence intimidated Aziraphale further. He felt the centre of his palm dampened and shifted uneasily in his seat. 

“Speak up, you silly people,” Beaz groaned out dramatically after what seemed like endless silence. “Or do you need me to hold your hands through it?”

“Right,” Aziraphale sighed, palms patting down his clothing in an attempt to calm down. “I’d like to apologise, Crowley”

“‘s alright” he mumbled back, eyes stuck to the pattern of the island surface. “No big deal. Didn’t expect otherwise.”

“Well, I did, actually,” Aziraphale quietly continued. “I did want a different outcome for us.” 

Crowley’s head shot up, too stunned to utter a single word.

“I have no rights to ask anything of you now. I’ve messed everything up. And I am sorry,” the hurtful tone almost inaudible by the end of his sentence.

Crowley watched the tremble in Aziraphale’s hands. _Could the Alpha be as clueless with relationship as he was?_ _Perhaps he wasn’t so hopeless after all._

“You two are made for each other, you know? Obsessed with apologising and very  _ stupid _ ,” Beaz snorted as they slipped out of their seat. “Talk it out, for Satan’s sake, Imma go do something more productive.”

The pair stared at the other’s entwined fingers. The only sound was Beaz’s footstep around the house.

“I had hoped for…well…something nice with you as well,” Crowley breathed out. “I’m sorry I forced you to do something you didn’t want to.”

“It’s not something I don’t want. If I’m perfectly honest,” Aziraphale admitted as his cheek blushed violently. “I just wish it was a better occasion, you know. Something more romantic and not out of instinctive needs.

“And I wish it was better for you…,” he added, round cheeks red like apples.

“’s not bad,” Crowley whispered, barely a buzz in the air.

“Then, why? Why did you leave so suddenly?” Aziraphale gasped, unable to believe what he was told.

“Well, I saw the wound on you lips,” Crowley sighed, worrying his lower lip as he paused to think of what to say next. “’s not very flattering to know that you’d rather bloody your lip than claim me.”

“I wanted to belong to someone. Somewhere. I’m so sick of being alone,” he sobbed into his thin palms.

“I couldn’t do that without your consent, my dear,” Aziraphale guided Crowley’s hands away from his face. “You’d be stuck with me for the rest of your life.”

“And that would have been the only good thing that happened to me!” Crowley shouted out loud desperately. He realised moments later how out of order he’d been and curled as small as possible, shaking and mumbling apologies into his knees. 

Aziraphale was shocked speechless by the outburst of anger but soon realised Crowley was having a breakdown. He rushed to the Omega’s side and threw his arms around him, gently rocking the thin body back and forth. Through the soft fabric between his palms and Crowley’s back, he could feel the trembling of muscles.

“It’s alright...shhh...It’s alright...dear boy,” he cooed with mere whispers against Crowley’s ear shell. “You did nothing wrong. It’s alright.

“Would you like to rest a bit, and maybe we can go somewhere nice for dinner? You deserve something nice,” he suggested as gently as he possibly could, making a mental list of places they could go later, and decided it’s probably more efficient to ask Beaz for advice. 

As the silent sob dragged on, he chuckled nervously, “rest and food are always good for you, well, they have always been the best cure for me, without a doubt.”

After some seconds, minutes, hours... Aziraphale had no way of knowing, the only thing he was able to focus on was the gradually soothing pattern of Crowley’s sobs. Crowley nodded and the nervous Alpha finally breathed out the air he’d been holding in his lungs. 

He was then dragged to a small room with only a bed of fluffy blankets. Crowley laid himself down in the midst of soft fabric, clinging to Aziraphale all the way there. 

“Join me?”

“I’ll be here when you wake up, but I need to speak with your sibling for a moment,” Aziraphale squeezed the fingers in his hands as he spoke. “Rest now, my dear.”

Crowley soon dozed off into soft snoring, creases between his brows smoothing out. Aziraphale left without causing a stir and found Beaz outside of the door waiting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Yay! They're fixing things :)


	6. Swirling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey beautiful people, I'm a day late cos I kept falling asleep while I edit this chapter LMAO  
> Hope you're all well and hope you like this chapter.   
> Same as always, feel free to leave comments. They really motivate me to write.

After his nap, Aziraphale was indeed sitting beside the pile of blankets he buried himself in, with one of his hand loosely holding onto Crowley’s. The warmth of having someone waiting for him gradually pulled Crowley back to consciousness. 

As he stirred, Aziraphale quickly dropped the novel he was reading, but Crowley was able to catch the relaxed expression on the beautiful face. He recognised the book, it was one of his presents for Beaz when they were little. When he was still capable of giving Beaz things that they didn’t yet have. 

Noticing his gaze, “Beaz said I could read something while I wait for you,” Aziraphale explained. “I have to say, I was quite surprised that they’d read something like this. A bit too peaceful for their image, don’t you think?”

“That’s one of my presents to them,” Crowley laughed with Aziraphale about his comments on Beaz’s personality. “I am very bad at choosing gifts.”

“Oh, well… sorry, my dear, I wasn’t criticising…,” Aziraphale’s expression suddenly troubled, feeling bad for judging one of Crowley’s presents. Crowley hurried to explain with nervous chuckles, trying to have Aziraphale smile again.

“It’s alright, I was joking and I was very young when I chose that book,” 

“Love birds,” Beaz appeared at the door with a key in their hand. “Go on, leave my house and have a nice meal together.” Crowley’s face blushed at his sibling’s comment. He wondered if Aziraphale reacted as well but his eyes were glued to the surface of the blanket, right on the spot where their hands joint underneath. 

He looked up when Aziraphale tugged his fingers slightly and welcomed him with the most breathtaking smile he’d ever seen. “Well then...Are you ready to go, my dear?” 

Crowley nodded coyly, allowing Aziraphale to help him up. The spot where their arms touched radiated heat. He almost got lost in the warmth and forgot that Beaz was right beside. As he freshened himself up in the bathroom, he heard soft conversation outside the door. Aziraphale’s adorable chuckles and Beaz’s sinister snorts. 

As they walked out the room, Aziraphale took his hand. Crowley let himself be dragged to the front door, where Aziraphale lifted the two bags lying by the entrance. Before he could ask or Aziraphale could explain, Beaz tugged his sleeve. 

“I’ll wait in the car,” Aziraphale noticed the pause in Crowley’s steps and said into his ears quietly. Crowley nodded, fingers idly tracing the warm flesh where Aziraphale squeezed before letting go. 

“Promise me you’ll take care of yourself,” Beaz laid their palm on his upper arm. Crowley felt tears welling up in his eyes upon these words. He had tried. He wanted to be well, to not cry when he thought of what his life might become, but he had failed hard so far. Too overwhelmed to say much, he nodded silently.

“I’m throwing the old bag out. You don’t have to carry the past with you. It’s time to move on,” they jutted their chin at the Beige beetle parking neatly by the street. “As impossible as it sounds, you deserve something nice. A mate, a home, or even your own family, who knows.”

“Go on,” The tiny Alpha said in a grand tone that sounded like parents sending away their own children. “Trust yourself and come back if you need anything.” 

It was conflicting. He had run so fast without having a destination in mind, but now, when he knew there is a place to go, a person to be with, he couldn’t bring himself to move his legs. The steps towards Aziraphale were hard. He felt the sole of his feet stung slightly with every step he made. 

Aziraphale hurried out of the driver’s seat when he approached, face flushing with an adorable pink hue. Crowley was again herded into the passenger seat of Aziraphale’s beige beetle. The gentle Alpha again closed the door for him and as breathy as it was, Crowley was extremely proud that he managed to squeezed out a whispering thank before Aziraphale left for the driver seat. 

His belongings were poorly packed (packing for Crowley was as kind as Beaz was willing to bring themselves to be) in the trunk of the car in some relatively new and holeless travelling bags. Beaz insisted that he should leave the old duffle bag behind and offered some of their bags as a replacement. Losing the one thing that had accompanied him since his teenage years made him inordinately sentimental, but it was the beginning of a new life and he did indeed want a new life. 

He leaned on the window and saw Beaz smirking playfully as they drove off. The smirk was sinister as always, but it was grounding. He knew he was not alone.

* * *

The drive to the restaurant was mostly eventless. Crowley fidgeted with his fingers in his lap for a while, until Aziraphale reached over and covered the thin fingers with his stocky palm. 

“My dear, are you alright?” He asked softly, thumb rubbing the back of Crowley’s hand. “I will do everything to fix what I did wrong and make you happy. I missed your smile, you know.”

“That’s silly,” Crowley snorted at that, but his lips broke into a coy smile. 

“Would you like some dim sum?” Crowley responded with a curious frown. 

“Have you not tried dim sum before?” Aziraphale’s round face beamed with excitement. “Would you like to try some then? The dishes are delightful.”

Crowley felt his lips pulled into a smile by the infectious excitement and nodded, eyes glancing down at his laps where Aziraphale’s hand covered his. 

“In that case, would you mind going to a nice dim sum place I really like? We’re only a few blocks away actually.” After Crowley nodded, the beetle took a right turn and a few minutes later pulled over by the street in front of a small crimson door. He looked up, admiring the delicate gold font of symbols he had no idea what they meant. 

As the Alpha shifted to help Crowley out of the seatbelt, he realised he was in a simple shirt and a pair of tight ripped jeans. He suddenly felt unpresentable beside the clearly well-dressed blonde. His eyes nervously skipped between the bowtie and tan waistcoat, fingers sinking into the hem of his own shirt anxiously. 

“I’m sorry, Alpha,” his broke into sobs and curling up into himself, trying to be as small as possible. “I’m so sorry.”

Aziraphale’s head snapped at the word _Alpha_ and his content expression immediate covered with concerns when he saw the state of the frightened Omega. “Shh… It’s alright. Darling, what’s wrong?” He rubbed the edge of Crowley’s shoulder, ignoring the initial startle when he first laid his hand on. 

As he felt the sobs began to soothe, he pressed Crowley to himself, holding him in a firm embrace. “Darling, can you tell me what happened?”

“Can’t go...restaurants...in these...I’ll embarra...you,” Crowley muttered out fragments interrupted by hiccups from severe crying. 

“Oh, you silly boy,” The blonde exclaimed empathetically rubbing his jaw at the red hair, hoping his scent would envelop the frantic Omega in calmness. “It’s not some fancy places. It’s alright. Come on, my dear boy. Look at me.”

He pulled back slightly to guide Crowley’s eyes up so they meet his. “You look lovely, you know that? You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. You can never embarrass me,” he cooed as he pressed soft kisses on the silky soft sideburns. He caressed the soft short hair on Crowley’s nape, rocking them back and forth in a soothing rhythm. 

“Can I have a kiss?” When the violent crying ceased, Crowley clung to Aziraphale as if he had no bones in his body and asked in the softest whisper possible. 

“Do you want that? Me kissing you?” Crowley’s eyes looked down at the question again, avoiding giving a direct answer, his cheek dusted with a blush. He felt a soft hand guiding his gaze back up, right into the brilliant blue eyes, now deeper than he remembered, with a tint of hunger. 

“I would give you anything you want, but I need to know what _you want_ to do that,” the plumpness of the pad of Aziraphale’s thumb rubbed his cheek, sending shivers down his spine. “My darling boy, do you want…”

Crowley’s mind was blurry, feeling the low voice getting closer, enveloping him in a pleasant haze. He felt drawn towards the warmth of Aziraphale’s breath, then their lips met. The kiss was soft and slow. As he nibbled on Azirphale’s lower lip, the blonde parted his lips to reciprocate but did not deepen the kiss. Breathy moans spilt from the spot their lips sealed, making Crowley a pile of aroused goo. He whimpered when the Alpha sat back, putting distance between them. He immediately missed the calm and warm scent. 

“My darling, do you still want to eat something? If you rather not eat here, I can cook for you when we get home.” 

“Wanna eat here,” Crowley’s spirit was uplifted that the Alpha was willing to bring him out for a meal, but the craving for his warmth was too strong. So, he bit out with a childish pout, trying to climb back into Aziraphale’s embrace. 

“Well, in that case,” the Alpha’s round face flushed like an apple as he caught the scrambling lanky limbs. He placed a kiss on the knuckles tenderly as he continued, “that would have to be all for now.”

His blush brightened more violently when he saw Crowley’s hurt expression and hurried to explain. “I’d have to be decent when we go inside.”

Crowley followed his lowering gaze and saw the tight bulge in the tan trousers. “Oh, I’ll take care of it,” he swallowed, folding his legs under himself to better turned to Aziraphale, and leaned down closer to the Alpha’s groin. Before he could reach out for the fly, he was hauled up.

“Crowley, I am not asking that of you. I would never take advantage of you again,” his voice stern, fingers dug into Crowley’s shoulder painfully and eyes filled with fear and regret. “If anything was going to happen, I should be the one taking care of you.”

“However, I would prefer to build up some more trust and understanding before we decide to enjoy more physical intimacy. I want it to be meaningful and romantic for us,” the conversation was developing into something more sophisticated than Crowley’s mind could manage at the moment. But he did his best to follow, until Aziraphale asked, “what do you think?” 

All he was capable of was silently exercising his jaw muscles without making one single sound. A flash of purple caught his eyes. Somehow Aziraphale managed to bring the bouquet he bought for Crowley earlier along. He stuffed it back into Crowley’s hands. 

“I want this to be a new start for us,” he tucked some stray curls behind Crowley’s delicate ear shell. “Shall we talk more over dinner?”

Crowley nodded weakly, not knowing what to do. It was not what he expected himself to have. Someone cared for what he wanted and how he felt. The knowledge that he was being cared for sent tingling feelings to his fingertips. 

“Wait here for a moment, I’ll go get your door,” Aziraphale pressed a loving kiss to his forehead and pulled himself out of the car. When his door was opened by the Alpha, Crowley still hasn’t recovered from the disorientation, but he was guided out of the car and onto the pavement in elegant movements. 

Before he knew it, he was seated nicely at a small table. It was a wooden table, its surface covered in luscious deep red polish and legs full of curves and edges. He enjoyed the way it felt under his hand, cool and smooth but not chilly. He knew next to nothing about dim sum, but Aziraphale listed out some dishes he thought Crowley would like and described them in detail so that Crowley could pick out a few he would like to try the most. 

As the dainty plates and steam baskets laid out in front of them, he was enticed. His attention was immediately grasped by a basket of jewellery-like lumps, which he had no idea what they were. He loved the way the skin of them was almost translucent, showing off the pinkish fillings on the inside. Each was about the size of a bite. 

Fingers combed through his red locks as Aziraphale tried to get his attention. He offered Crowley a china cup half full of tea, very warm but not quite scalding. The fragrance of jasmine bloomed in his face, calming his nerves in the face of way too many plates and cutlery. 

He watched Aziraphale tasting some dumplings and tea without moving his chopsticks. There were too many choices and he did not know where to start. A few moments later, he was offered bites of each dishes, and he took small tastes of those bite-size pieces, while Aziraphale made careful mental notes of his expression upon each bite. 

The basket of the pinkish dumplings which he had been ogling was still yet to be tasted when Aziraphale asked him if there’s anything else he’d like to try. His eyes immediately slid towards to untouched dish. 

“Oh, you want the shrimp dumplings,” he let out a giddy wiggle and moved the basket closer to them. “This is my absolute favourite. You must try it without the soy first. It’s delightful.”

He skillfully manoeuvred his chopsticks and offered one to Crowley’s lips. Crowley stretched his neck slightly to bite down on the glistening skin, astonished by the clean flavour of it, and the bombs of sweet saltiness that bloomed on his tongue when he chewed on the bits of shrimp in the filling. 

“It’s delightful, isn’t it?” He smiled at the hint of pride in the Alpha’s voice and nodded, accepting another bite offered to him. “Now, try it with a touch of soy.”

Aziraphale dipped the remaining dumpling into a shallow dish of soy sauce, the dark liquid staining the pearl-like skin. His hand set nicely below Crowley’s jaw and the offered bite, fingers closed, ready to catch any loose pieces or dripping. 

The saltiness of the soy heightened the taste of the bite and Crowley’s face lit up at it. “We are absolutely coming back in the future,” Aziraphale chuckled at the soft expression the Omega had and returned to taste more dishes himself. 

Crowley picked up the chopsticks and tried to taste some more snacks with a few sips of tea in between and a few bites offered when the blonde tasted something especially good. 

When Crowley began to ease into the meal, Aziraphale prompted questions at him. He couldn’t meet the gentle blue gaze and wanted his sunglasses desperately, but he knew it was necessary. A new life wouldn’t happen out of nowhere. He needed to make efforts to achieve that. 

“We should dine out together more in the future. This is nice,” Aziraphale sighed. “Would you like that?” 

Crowley made a noise to that, so Aziraphale continued. “I really hope to get to know you more. What you experienced, what you want in your future, anything. Good or bad. Painful or optimistic.” 

He lifted the paper-thin hands to his lips, “would you like that?” As he posed the question, his eyes fluttered closed and his lips touched the back of Crowley’s hands. The motion so serene, almost a plead. Crowley’s breath caught in his lung at the sight in front of him. The white-blonde curls partly veiled the round blushing cheeks and the lightly squished plump lips of the Alpha. The sight was glowing with so much tenderness, Crowley felt like he could cry. 

“Yes,” he breathed out, lacing his fingers with those holding them. “I never thought I might meet someone like you. Never in a million years. I will do everything I can to be worthy of you. I will do everything.” His voice trembling at the end, tainted with fear and self-loathing.

“My darling boy...Oh, my darling boy. What have they done to you,” Aziraphale looked up into the moist golden gaze, a hand holding the Omega’s hand tight and another reaching up to cup his cheek. “We will have to put in some work to make the relationship work, but you don’t have to do everything alone. You don’t have to do things you don’t want to.” The thick pad of his thumb rubbed the exquisite cheekbone, so close to the unshed tears. 

“Crowley, I am here for you and I want nothing that might upset you. Alright? You deserve all the happiness in the world,” his palm slid from the cheek towards the nape and gently massaged the hollows at the base of his skull. “And it would be my utmost honour if I am the person to make you happy.” 

Crowley looked stunned, unsure of how to respond. He wasn’t sure how it worked, but he knew it was a good start. It is a future he could look forward to. 

“It might take time for you to really believe that, but I’ll say it all the time. I’ll make you believe how beautiful and worthy of love you already are.” 

It was indeed hard to believe in that after being seen as an unsatisfying Omega, but the words warmed him nonethelessp. As the meal came to an end, the excitement of going home with Azirpahel piled up and made his heart fluttered slightly in anticipation. 

* * *

They walked into the slightly crowded streets together. Crowley’s arm draping over Aziraphale’s. Aziraphale said nothing as he felt the lean arm slithered up his side and onto the inside of his elbow, not wanting to break the show of affection–friendliness, he reminded himself. Best not to overthink it for now, lest he got carried away. 

The intimacy did not last for long. He felt Crowley froze in the middle of a step, staring at the other side of the street. 

It was an Alpha-Omega couple. The Alpha was tall and well-built, with short dark hair and dark eyes gleaming with violet, his muscular arm circling around the Omega’s hip. The Omega was blonde and small, around the height of the Alpha’s shoulder. Her body looking soft and curvy in a nicely fitted gown, moulded to the side of her Alpha. 

He did not know who those people were, but he knew it wasn’t good by the sadness Crowley was projecting. He noticed the sweet scent of the Omega grew dull and bitter, a sign of distress. 

Crowley couldn’t move forward anymore when he saw Gabriel with an Omega–well, his Omega, based on the claiming mark he saw on the edge of the neckline of the Omega’s gown, standing out starkly on her fair skin. It looked several months old in the least. No more dried blood and bruises. Simply a bump of twisted muscle. 

It was everything he’d ever wanted. 

And now, it was rubbed in his face with the mocking smile on Gabriel’s face. 


	7. Standing Back Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley went through some rude Gabriel moments together and recover from them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back! Thank you all for reading this and all the kindness you've been sending me in the comments :)
> 
> There is some smut at the end of this chapter, which I was so happy to write. Hope you enjoy it! We are stepping into a new world soon. I cannot wait to bring it to you:) 
> 
> As always, feel free to comment and have a lovely day <3

“Well, isn’t this the precious Omega?” The man across the street exclaimed in a dramatic surprise. “Didn’t you just rob my house and ran away like the little selfish traitor that you have always been? Huh, sunshine?”

“My lovely Clarice, have you met Crowley?” He turned to the woman on his arm, with a smug grin hung high on his face. So pleased with himself without a hair of concern for the people around him. The curvy Omega stood in his arm, silent to the question with a numb pride on her face as if an ornament of this demonstration of a tantrum. 

“I didn’t,” Crowley said, voice as weak as a ruffle of leaves. His hands started trembling. Guessing that the Alpha in front of them is the Gabriel Archer, Aziraphale wanted to step in so badly, but he didn’t know if it was his place. His mind debating between stepping up to protect Crowley and pulling Crowley away from the scene immediately. 

“You didn’t? Oh, that’s nice to know,” he spat out in mock relief. “You know what? I don’t really give a damn. I’m Gabriel Fucking Archer, for God’s sake…”

“That is quite enough,” Aziraphale cut in, finally deciding that Crowley should not be subjected to such rude comments. He slid between Gabriel and Crowley, shielding one from another with his broad body. In a split second, he sensed that Gabriel’s anger shifted from taunting accusations into a wave of violent and primal anger. The scent of the taller Alpha changed. His eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared. The smell of cedarwood grew sharper in the air. The hair on Aziraphale’s nape stood up in alert. 

He stood in a defensive stance, but he did not want to fight. He was never good at confrontation. Even when he was a young boy, when he was keeping guard when his friends stole in others’ gardens, or as they jokingly called apple tree duty, which was apparently all Aziraphale was capable of, he had a hard time making up excuses or putting up a fight when needed. It was not in his nature. 

He tried to snarl and bare his teeth, but he knew it wasn’t convincing. Any moment now, Crowley would know he wasn’t a reliable Alpha and leave. He felt his heart constricting at the prospect. He wanted to be strong. To be worthy of his Omega. But he wasn’t. he has never been _._ His inner voice smothered the debate at the instant. 

A nervous tug on the hem of his sleeve pulled him back to the confrontation. He felt his fangs were baring so much, the pull was aching. “Don’t,” Crowley whispered from behind the red locks. “It’s not worth it.”

“I promised,”  _ to protect you _ , he did not utter the last few words for he did not know if he was able to keep them. But, shielding Crowley from harm he could do. He would do everything he could. Aziraphale extended an arm to hold Crowley back. “And I intend to keep my words.” 

“Don’t fight Gabriel,” he begged, fingers digging into the flesh of Aziraphale forearm. “Just don’t.”

Aziraphale knew he couldn’t go on. He hadn’t been able to before Crowley asked and he would not even think about attacking now that Crowley asked. 

“What’s wrong, hm?” The moment his snarl weakened, Gabriel brought back the smug smile. 

“I don’t blame him, you know, Anthony. You are not exactly worthy of an Alpha defending you, are you?” The smirk on his lips almost chilling Aziraphale to his core, unable to imagine how damaging it must have been for Crowley to endure such demeaning words. The protectiveness bubbled in his chest and he bit out another snarl. 

“Or am I wrong? Is your Alpha too weak to defend you?” Gabriel taunted with his dark thick brows frowned in feign sympathy, staring down at the shorter Alpha, bared teeth the only aggressive thing in all his roundness and fluffiness. 

Crowley shivered. He knew what happened when one tried to fight Gabriel. It’s not pretty. Escape is the only way out. He tugged and tugged on Aziraphale’s sleeve, silently begging for him to leave. Finally, Aziraphale got the message. 

The blonde Alpha let out a last snarl and turned abruptly to crowd Crowley back towards his car. It was rougher than he usually was but it was still gentle, care oozing out of the aggressive façade he held up. As Crowley was stuffed into the car, he took hold of the thick palm which was fussing the seat belt and nuzzled it. 

He carefully avoided his own scent gland, not wanting to provoke the still tense Alpha. Aziraphale visibly relaxed, anger fading away from the stern blue eyes. His jaw unclenched, lips lowering to the crown of fiery locks.

“Crowley,” he breathed, primary possessiveness urged him to tuck the Omega in the hollow of his jaw to scent him. 

“Alpha,” Crowley whispered back into the broad shoulder he was leaning on. “Take me home.”

His request was answered with a grumble from Aziraphale’s chest. He carefully positioned the lanky body back in the leather seat and rushed to dump himself behind the wheel, starting the car in no time. 

Behind them, where both of the pair decided to not to look back at, Gabriel gritted his teeth in displeasure and carried on prancing triumphantly with his Omega on his arm. 

As the drive began, Aziraphale struggled with the still-simmering anger in his chest, forcing himself to drive as calmly as he possibly could in such a state. He was too preoccupied to notice Crowley’s intense trembles. It was not until they were a few blocks away from the house, he realised the nerves that were swallowing Crowley. 

Crowley was drowning in flashbacks. All the memories that he didn’t think mattered. That he forced himself to grit his teeth and get over with. They climbed back into his mind and hit him harder than ever. 

He understood how ridiculous it was but it didn’t matter. His instinct craved this and he had wanted this. He wanted to be the worthy partner, being brought out by his Alpha on strolls to show off. He wanted to be defended, staying safe while his strong Alpha fought for him or his honour. He got to be involved in these circumstances today, but again, like always, he was not the one being in the centre. 

Sure, Aziraphale tried to intervene, but in the end, he did no fighting. Crowley knew that Gabriel was right. He was unworthy of an Alpha’s protection. He had made peace with that after time and time again when Gabriel stepped away to pretend that they’re not an item. After time and time again, when Gabriel didn’t react when someone tried to make a move on him. It was no one’s fault except his. He was not good enough. He wanted to be, but he wasn’t. He could pretend to be the tamed Omega that clings to an Alpha’s arm, but he wasn’t really. It wasn’t in his blood. 

He had always felt out of place as an Omega. When he was still young and bold, he thought he was special, untattered by the unfair expectations of Omegas. He wanted to thrive and break through the limitations they lived under. But, as time went by, he became one of them. He became smaller, more powerless, and more dependent. He was not different from any Omega, apart from the part that he couldn’t fit in. His mind too wild, his body too thin, and he had too many questions. 

Somewhere in Crowley’s heart, he knew these weren’t true. But, at the moment, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking negatively. His reasons drowning in the maddening self-loathing. He knew Aziraphale did stand up for him and he knew that he did not want to be an ornament of another person. Most importantly, he knew he was starting a new life that he had always wanted and should leave the oppressed mindset behind. He should at least try to defeat the negativity that was swallowing him whole. 

Crowley might have been able to work himself through the depressing thoughts eventually, but his inner rant was interrupted prematurely by a firm hold on his wrist. Warmth enveloped him and lifted him up from the chilling valley of hurting memories. 

“Hey, you alright?” Aziraphale cooed, not wanting to startle Crowley, who seemed to be lost in thoughts. “We’re home,” he gave Crowley a gentle squeeze before letting go of him to park the car. 

The grounding voice and touch were what did it. Crowley broke into sobs. It was like the pouring of rain that finally happened after a long day of high humidity. It was too powerful for any individual to fight. All he could do was let the sorrow wash over him. 

Aziraphale had no idea how the sudden breakdown happened and scrambled to comfort him. He pulled the brake and made sure it was parked securely before he pushed back his chair for more space. He then pulled Crowley into his lap. Space wasn’t enough but it was what felt right to do. So that’s what he did. 

He rocked them back and forth until the harshest cries subsided, violent streams of tears ceased and trembling calmed. If Crowley wasn’t in so much pain, Aziraphale would have allowed himself to fall in love with the adorable soft hiccups. He held Crowley tight until he felt the bony body untensed and he could lift the delicate chin up and kiss away the tear stain on the beautiful face. 

“Hello, beautiful,” he cooed, lips still touching the slightly damp skin. “Should we go in?”

His soft movements earned himself a nod. Aziraphale hauled Crowley up and somehow manoeuvred both of them out of the car. Crowley gave a soft whimper and pressed his face harder against Aziraphale’s chest, attempting to hide the rising blush. Aziraphale relished the feeling of harsh angles sinking into his own soft flesh. 

They ended up in Crowley’s nest. There’s not much point caring about their scent mixing now, so Aziraphale allowed himself to relax and join in the fluffiness Crowley buried himself in. They sat side by side against a small mountain of pillows. Aziraphale couldn’t stop his hands from wandering on Crowley’s shoulders and back, eyes enchanted by the waves of fire. 

Crowley was safely surrounded by a warm and comforting scent of nutmeg and bay which he had now considered the scent of home. He wanted to bury himself in this moment. He wanted to freeze time. The soft give of Aziraphale’s body beside his was distracting. He recalled the last time he felt the soft flesh under his palms. He remembered the dimples caused by his tight grip and he felt his body heating up. 

Crowley sank down further into the bed and onto Aziraphale, in an attempt to hide his embarrassment and to indulge himself in the luxurious feel. Inch by inch, he settled himself by the underside of Aziraphale’s belly, practically laying his head in his lap. The Alpha jerked at his movement and scrambled to sit up straighter and suck in his stomach. 

“Sorry, was it uncomfortable?” Startled by the reaction, Crowley sat up, folding his legs under himself. 

“Well, it’s nice, for me, at least,” Aziraphale chuckled nervously, face scrunching into a wry smile. “It must have been terrible for you, though. Being squished by my belly and all that. Not very pleasant, I believe.”

The weirdly self-deprecating reaction confused Crowley. He did not know if he should be arguing against the Alpha or comfort him, so all he could utter was the truth. “I quite liked it actually,” he said coyly. 

“Oh, that was unexpected,” Aziraphale seemed taken back by the response and not knowing what to do. “Would you like to lay back down then? If you’d like to? I can read to you.”

He ended up reciting Shakespeare’s sonnets with Crowley in his lap, his unoccupied hand combing through the silky-smooth hair. Crowley nuzzled the spot between the soft belly and thigh whenever he heard something he liked or when Aziraphale’s blunt nails ran through spots that sent shivers down his spine. Aziraphale made mental notes of both. 

Everything got too hazy for Crowley to focus on Aziraphale’s reading not long later. He captured the hand in his hair and brought it to his lips. Aziraphale soon put the book aside and smiled at the Omega lazily pressing kisses on his hand. He leaned down to peck on the defined cheekbone that hadn’t left his mind since he first met Crowley. 

Crowley wiggled himself further away from Aziraphale’s body to make their position more humanly manageable. As he did so, Aziraphale chased the lips and lifted his legs slightly to support Crowley’s upper body. The ease of carrying himself seemed to have returned to him as Crowley moved away. 

“Did me laying there bother you?” He asked in confusion, unable to understand what he did wrong moments ago. Apart from the gentle combing of hair and soothing reading voice, the Alpha had been tensed and the breathing constricted. 

“Well, not necessarily,” he lowered his legs to let Crowley sit up more. “Well…It wasn’t the most attractive part of my body, was it?” He chuckled, hands fidgeting in front of himself. 

“Not that there anything really,” he rushed to add. The uncertainty in his eyes reminded Crowley of himself. Could it come from a similar place as his self-doubts?

“Did someone else told you that?” He asked. He inserted his hand into Aziraphale’s tangled ones, weaving them together. “Like how Gabriel talked me down?”

“He was cruel to you,” Aziraphale frowned at the comment anger bubbling in his chest at the thought of Crowley had been treated horribly for God knows how long. All that bubbling, however, died down into chilling sadness for himself. “In my case, I like to think they’re just honest.” 

“I didn’t know Alphas face these as well,” Crowley decided to ignore the clearly mistaken thoughts. “I thought it was part of being an Omega. Alphas attack us, beat us down and keep us pliant.”

“Don’t let them get to you,” he cupped the round cheek to guide the baby blue eyes upwards. “You are a strong Alpha. And I can say that confidently after seeing what you did today.”

“I ran. Didn’t even put up a fight for you.”

“I begged you to.” 

“Well, still. I ran.”

“And so did I. That’s all I know about coping mechanism. Blame me.”

“Why would I blame you one bit? My darling, darling boy?”

“Why do you blame yourself for being decent and respecting what other people want? You protected me and listened to me. That’s everything an Omega, no, that’s everything any person could have asked to have.”

Was he? Aziraphale asked himself. Was he decent? Was he respecting what Crowley wanted? He did not know the answer. Perhaps. But nonetheless, it didn’t change the fact that he ran without putting up a fight as an Alpha should have. 

“Uh ah,” Crowley wagged his finger at him before he could utter another protest. “I like you and I think you are attractive. Don’t you dare attack my taste. You promised to protect me.”

“Well, you do have a peculiar preference,” Aziraphale squirmed at the sudden demonstration of affection from Crowley, not knowing what to do with the compliment. 

He earned himself a click of the tongue. Crowley threw himself over Aziraphale’s thighs, straddling him and lifting one hand onto his side. He took in the dilating pupils of the blue eyes and the shortening breath coming out of the parted lips, bracing himself for what he was going to do. 

“I know you didn’t want to take this too quickly but being desired helps me feel better about myself. Can I show you?” He guided that thick palm across his thin waist, trying not to get lost in the warmth. 

“Crowley,” Aziraphale managed to sound reprimanding. 

“Fine, I want sex. Accident it may be, but our last time was good.”

“Crowley, you don’t have to pity me.”

“I wasn’t! I thought you like me!”

“I do. And that is exactly why I don’t want to rush you into a relationship.”

“You showed me more kindness in the past few days than anyone had ever done in my whole life. You’ve already dived into this yourself, why shouldn’t I?” 

“I want the best for you. I want you to make an informed decision after you know me better. I want to protect you.” He sighed. “How can I not fall for you already? You are the most precious person that’d ever come into my life. If I’m honest, I might have already loved you from the moment we met.”

“There are different ways to love a person. I will learn yours. I want to learn how to love you. But please, please, at least try to learn how I want to be loved.” 

“Of course. There is nothing I want more.”

“I need this,” he gestured desperately. “ I need physical intimacy. I need to feel wanted. I don’t want to fade into the background and am only remembered when you need something.”

“Of course. I would never. In that case, I want to explain my feelings and concerns, now.” He took control over his hand back and rubbed Crowley’s back in soothing strokes. “I do want you. But, I don’t want you to feel as if I’m using you for sex. I know that happens in some Alpha-Omega couples. Some Alphas think of Omegas as tools to satisfy their sexual desires. I want it to be special and meaningful for both of us and that’s why I wanted to hold back and wait.”

“It was meaningful,” Crowley hummed. “The last time I gave myself to you. It was the first time in God knows how long I allowed myself to do something I want to do.” 

He leaned forward towards Aziraphale and whispered, “please?”

Aziraphale welcomed the kiss. Their lips slotted together as if it was meant to be. He moaned at the nibbling on his lower lip, happily allowing Crowley access to his mouth. As they kissed, Crowley found his way back on Aziraphale’s lap and rutted his already hard cock against the semi-hard bulge in the tan trousers. 

It seemed to be what did it for Aziraphale. He hauled the lanky body up and pressed it into the mattress with a possessive grip on the hip. He nuzzled Crowley’s shirt to expose a strip of skin and started teasing it with soft bites as he worked on the belt and the fly. 

The musky scent of the groin mixed with the sweet floral scent of the Omega was almost aphrodisiac. Aziraphale suddenly felt the urge to yank down the skin-tight ripped jeans and whatever pants Crowley was or wasn’t wearing underneath at the moment and took the hard length into his mouth in one swift motion. 

One of his hand pressed like a claw on Crowley’s flat chest and another lifting the long leg onto his own shoulder. He felt Crowley squirmed under his mouth, back arching and falling back down onto the mattress with his sucks. He could feel the pulsing of veins along the cock on his tongue and he groaned, the vibration of the groan making Crowley squirmed even more.

After a few tight sucks, he felt the Omega guiding one of his hands lower. And who was he to deny what Crowley wanted? He let go of the throbbing cock and turned his attention towards the tight hole. He teased it with a few licks and kisses, coaxing the tense muscles to relax. 

It didn’t take long for Crowley to let him in. He lowered the body from his shoulder to slip in his fingers one by one and massage the entrance better. As he crooked his finger in search of the particular sweet spot, he felt Crowley’s leg tightened around his waist and his heels dug into the soft rolls of meat around his hips. 

He focused hard to commit every delicious reaction into his memory, learning how to bring pleasure to the creature he wanted to treasure. In the middle of moaning and squirming, Crowley managed to pull himself away from the fingers inside him and in turn straddled Aziraphale once again. 

Crowley took hold of Aziraphale’s thick cock and guided it inside of himself. Inch by inch he impaled himself onto Aziraphale’s shaft, grunting and frowning in the process. Knowing that his hole wasn’t stretched enough, Aziraphale hurried to stop him only to be resisted with a committed thrust of the hip. Finally, Crowley was seated nicely on top of Aziraphale and both of them sighed in satisfaction.

The initial painful stretch was too severe for him to move freely, so he stayed still, taking in the concern and love in the baby blue eyes. They were still as pure as ever in such a heated situation. The rocking started gentle, allowing time for both of them to get used to the sensation. But when it all felt so right, it didn’t take long for them to escalate the movement. 

Aziraphale moved back to sit against the headboard, having the thin body slotted just right between his torso and thighs. The position allowed more skin contact and that was great. Their hands roamed each other’s body and lips pressing heated wet kisses wherever they could. Neither of them minded the tacky feeling of sweat and saliva. Aziraphale certainly didn’t mind the leaked cum wetting the soft hair on his stomach He looked down at the angrily red cock rutting against the swell of his belly and held it, eliciting a desperate moan from the beautifully ravished creature in his lap.

After a few pumps, he had thick white paint covered all over him. The tight heated wall around him tightened, pushing him over the edge of pleasure. He held the collapsed body with a protectively tight hold, instinctively pressed onto Crowley’s tailbone to stop his own seed at spilling out. They stayed like that for a while. The silence was eventually broken when Azirphale couldn’t resist the urge to rock his hip lightly into the still heated hole, now slicker than ever with the come. 

“Alpha,” Crowley chucked, pressing himself firmly onto the gradually hardening length to stop the movement. “That feels weird.” He was still hanging bonelessly on the Alpha. 

“Would you like a bath then?”

Crowley bumped his chin on the hallow of Aziraphale’s shoulder excitedly at the thought and allowed himself to be lifted up by strong arms. 


	8. Knowing More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Aziraphale discovering a new world...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, I back. 
> 
> There are some more original characters in this one, which I hope you don't mind. 
> 
> Also, I recently realised that my plans for the last few chapters are ridiculously brief, so the chapter count might go up. If it happens, I will post the extra ones between the week. This fic will be ending by the end of this summer because I really wanted to start another fic <3
> 
> Anyways, stay safe and enjoy :)

“How many others do you think there are?” Crowley said out of the blue from the middle of all the warm steaminess, with his eyes closed and Aziraphale’s blunt nails rubbing his scalp. Half-submerged in a claw-foot tub, Crowley’s pale skin was glistening with moisture. Aziraphale was doing his best not to get lost in the pattern of bathwater rising and falling on Crowley’s beautiful skin and not to get too worked up for how much he wished it was his lips kissing it. 

“Other what?” Aziraphale asked in confusion after realising Crowley’s purrs stopped and that he was asked a question. 

“Other Omegas like me.”

“Well, I think Omegas make up around one-sixth of the population. If my memory serves,” Aziraphale frowned, totally at a loss to comprehend where did the question come from. “Why?”

“I mean, how many Omegas are with an Alpha that never thinks about having a life with them? How many of these Omegas there were before me?”

“You mean how many Omegas has Gabriel deceived?” Crowley’s eyes squeezed shut tighter upon hearing the question. “Well, I cannot tell. But now that you mentioned it, you reminded me of the files I dug up when you came to withdraw your partner registration.

“There were others. Two at least. Gabriel had three withdrawn registrations under his name, including you.” Aziraphale finished rinsing Crowley’s mane and covered it all up with a towel folded skilfully around his head. He then stepped into the still rather warm water and held Crowley from behind. 

“Hm… ‘s nice,” Crowley purred, pulling the arms around him into a tighter embrace. “I want to leave all these behind so bad, but it seemed irresponsible, you know?”

Aziraphale didn’t, but he knew when to be patient and gave an encouraging grunt instead of responding just yet. Crowley needed time to think and pushing him is not what he needed. Eventually, when he was ready and comfortable, he’d voice his ideas. 

“I found you, you know? Do others get to meet someone like you as well?” He turned sideways to nuzzle at the Alpha’s scent gland. It’s not going to stay on his skin when they’re this wet, but it’s nice. Being allowed to scent himself like this made him feel secured. “What about others? Do they also find peace in their lives? Or do they stay hurt from the betrayal? Do they even know that they’re betrayed? I feel bad about knowing there are other Omegas suffering similar pain but I’m here happy with you. Does it make sense? ” 

“Shhh… Yes, my darling. Don’t be too hard on yourself. We can try to find out but regardless, you have to understand that you deserve happiness. Every one of us does,” he pressed the trembling lips on Crowley’s temple, reminding himself that he was also worthy of happiness. However sorry an excuse he was of an Alpha, he could have this. He could hold the beautiful person in his arm.

“We see people suffering and, of course, we want to help. But, there are limits. There are things we cannot achieve or fix on our own. It doesn’t make us less worthy as human beings. We can try and we should try to do more, but not by giving up everything that we have.

“Now, we can try to track down Gabriel’s previous victims and see where we go from there, but please don’t think of yourself any less. Alright? We will work together and try to help more people if they’re in need of help,” Aziraphale rounded his arm across Crowley’s body to embrace him firmer. Crowley's purrs returned under such a pressure, and his chest rumbled in return. 

“Now, I’ll go fetch some towels and bathrobes so we can rest more comfortably in the bed,” he guided the lean body to sit up and teasingly licked up the angular shoulder blades, making Crowley whimper. 

  
  
  


Aziraphale dug out the files he found when he was looking into Gabriel Archer’s past records and tracked down the address of the two Omegas. The information was labelled as confidential files but the protections were not thorough. After pinning down the file number, it was easy enough for Aziraphale to retrieve them from the archive. 

Crowley and he made plans to go visit one of the victims after work that day. And he was tasked to track down the people they’re going to visit. He wrote down the name and address in his notepad in his neat curve writing and hurried out. The afternoon after that was unsettling. Holding onto some forbidden information made him squirm slightly in his seat as he went on with his work. 

By the time Aziraphale’s work time was over, he collected his things in lightning speed and rushed into his car to pick up Crowley. He pulled over by the front of his house and the redhead hopped into the car like a crimson flash. 

He silently admired the movement of him. It was comforting to know that Crowley is now comfortable enough around him to move swiftly and with confidence. Past trauma made the young Omega cautious and timid around people, but he was now livelier than Aziraphale had ever seen him. 

“Hey, ‘ziraphale,” he murmured as he settled in the seat and pecked the round cheek of the Alpha, who quickly leaned in to help with the seatbelt. It became a kind of ritual for them. Small gestures, like preparing cutlery, fastening seat belts, hanging up coats and scarfs, were their way of showing their care and affection with each other. And accepting the gestures was their way of reciprocating. 

Being expected to give instead of take changed a person’s mindset. It deprived one’s ability to accept nice things in their lives and make one constantly questioning whether they deserved what they currently had. It was especially difficult when one was continuously accused of not giving enough. It made one doubt themself. 

“Good evening, my darling,” Aziraphale beamed at the peck on his cheek. The easy demonstration of affection melted his inside, but he held himself together to face their planned evening. “Are we ready?”

Crowley nodded with a determined expression on his face. Aziraphale hadn’t the faintest idea about how their trip was going to end up, but he knew it was going to be some sort of closure for Crowley. And if that meant peace of mind for the redhead, he was more than happy to help. 

With an encouraging smile on his face, he started the car and headed towards the first address. 

The spot they ended up at was an apartment building. The outer walls dulled with dust and steaks of water. Several tiles disappeared and exposed the concrete underneath. The pathway in front of the building was covered in stains and gums and the entire area reeked of the smell of humidity. 

Crowley looked out from the car window with suspicion. He couldn’t think of how Gabriel would even know anyone from areas like this, let alone dating an Omega from here. The Alpha would definitely stand out in neighbourhoods like this. So on the other hand, this might be good news. If Gabriel had ever dated an Omega in this area, people might remember seeing him.

“Her newest records say she lives on the third floor,” Aziraphale killed the engine and turned to face Crowley. He wanted to make sure they’re both ready for this, whatever it might be. “It seemed like she now lives on her own in a shared apartment. No child, no car, working in a food bank in this neighbourhood. That’s all I found.”

Crowley made a thoughtful noise from his throat in response, but his brows were knitted and edges of his lips tipped down. 

“Hey, it’s fine if you don’t want to do this now, or if you want to do it some other day,” He covered the trembling hands with his own and cooed. “I won’t get mad or upset or anything. I know it’s a lot and I don’t know what’s waiting for us either. It’s scary and that’s okay.”

Pushing Crowley to do something he didn’t want to was the last thing Aziraphale wanted. As much as he thought a closure would be good for the Omega, he wanted him to feel safe and protected as well. 

While Crowley knew he wasn’t ready, he also knew that he might never be ready. Aziraphale meant well and he appreciated him for that. The Alpha was always gentle and thoughtful. But sometimes powering through everything is the only way to go. So he nodded and flipped his palms to capture Aziraphale’s hands instead. 

“I’ll be alright,” he comforted, trying to ease the rising concern on the round face. 

“Of course you will. You are the strongest person I’ve ever met,” the Alpha agreed softly with a faint smile. As the sky grew darker, the street light began to light up. The faint light casting on the crown of Aziraphale’s white-blonde curls created the illusion of a halo. The circle of brightness reminded Crowley of the first day they met, when the Alpha persistently spoke to him and the pale hair grasping his attention. Thinking back on the time they spent together, Aziraphale was indeed an angel to Crowley.

“Yeah?” He instinctively snorted at the compliment, but as he spoke on, the tone became more genuine. “And you are the reason. The source of my strength. My guardian angel.” He leaned in to kiss Aziraphale, the last few syllables barely audible between their lips. The kisses were soft and languid, grounding them both for what was to come. 

“Lets, shall we?” Crowley pulled away when he decided that the Alpha’s posture was lax enough. 

Finding the apartment wasn’t difficult, but there was no answering to their knocks. Although the pair could hear some secretive conversation and footsteps behind the closed door, there was no sign of whether it’d open or not. Just when Crowley got impatient and decided to yell at the door, it opened a smidge and a pale arm reached out to drag the thin body in. 

Crowley and Aziraphale both yelped in shock, but neither of them was quick enough to stop them being separated. The Alpha quickly took an aggressive stance against the door. He snarled loudly and pulled at the door handle with vicious strength. 

“Aziraphale, angel, I’m alright,” just as he was going to pull for the second time, he heard Crowley shouting from within. He did not sound hurt so Aziraphale calmed down a little. 

“Angel, I’m alright, they’re just afraid,” the Omega on the other side repeated himself. 

“They?” The word caught Aziraphale’s attention. 

“Well, there are a few people living here,” Crowley replied. His words were followed by a short while of muffled conversation. All Aziraphale could make out was words lie _kind_ , _safe_ , _promise_ , which he had no idea how they fit in the context. 

“Angel, they’re gonna let you in in a moment, but I need you to calm down a bit more. No snarling, no fangs, yeah?”

“Sure,” Aziraphale hated the idea of Crowley being on the other side of the door and would do anything to get into that door. Stop being aggressive was nothing to him. He quickly re-composed himself and stood politely by the door. 

The door opened with Crowley smiling to him, guiding him into the small crowded space. There were three other people in the room, two female Omegas and one male Omega. Two of them were standing a few steps away from Aziraphale, while the other curled up in the corner. All of them watched him intently with cautious eyes. 

“Guys, he’s Aziraphale. He’s not gonna hurt you,” Crowley gestured between all the people in the room. “Angel, this is Dagon and Ken.”

The two standing Omega nodded at him slightly as greetings and Aziraphale nodded back, deciding that reaching out for a handshake might no be the smartest move to make. 

“And this is Chloe,” Crowley continued in a lower voice. Aziraphale followed Crowley’s gesture and looked at the Omega in the corner. She was inordinately thin and pale. Almost ghost-like in the dim corner. 

“Oh,” he breathed out. The sickly look of the Omega struck him speechless. Crowley’s guilt against the other possible victims suddenly dawned on him. This could have been Crowley had he not been able to hold himself together after leaving Gabriel. Had he stayed until he was thrown out. It terrified him to realise that the vibrant creature that he loved so much now could have become so unresponsive and lifeless. 

“Think it’s best if I do the talking, angel,” Crowley whispered in his ear. “As you can see, Alphas are not exactly welcome here.” Aziraphale nodded, knowing that it’s probably for the best. He was also more than happy to see Crowley feeling secured enough to take over. 

Crowley crouched down in front of the pale woman on the couch gracefully and Aziraphale followed suit, a few steps further behind the lithe body, trying to keep his presence as unthreatening as possible to the other people in the room. 

“Hey, Chloe. I’m Crowley. Anthony Crowley,” the redhead said softly to the other Omega, his sunglasses were hanging on the opened collar of his shirt. “I’m here hoping to ask you things about Gabriel. Gabriel Archer? I heard you were his partner a while ago?” A pang of panic shot through the unresponsive expression of Chloe when she heard the name, _Gabriel_. She curled closer to herself and the almost skeleton-like limbs trembled around the thin body. 

“No, no, no...please, Alpha...please,” she sobbed into the cavity between her chest and thighs. The voice was broken and muffled. Barely audible. “Please, I’m sorry...I was wrong. Please don’t leave...” She continued rambling pleads and apologies. The resemblance her words bore with Crowley’s pleads crushed Aziraphale’s heart. He had known that Alphas were cruel. But he had not witnessed the trauma that the cruelty Alphas caused first hand. 

The harms Alphas could do to Omegas were terrifying. While he thought he had gone through quite a fair share of harm in relationships, the pain he felt was nothing like this. He did have episodes of self-loathing and regrets, it was nowhere as desperate as this. He could not imagine what it was like to lose so much. The idea of any person having so much power over another person made him sick. 

“Hey, he’s not here. Com’on, it’s alright,” Crowley seemed a little less sure of himself when facing such a severe reaction. His hands hovered over the upper arms of Chloe, couldn’t decide whether he should touch her or not. “Chloe, hey. He’s not here. You’re safe.” The cooing continued for a while until Chloe returned to the unresponsive shell she had on before the panic attack began. The two standing Omegas clicked their tongue at the pair and gestured at the other end of the apartment, hinting them to follow. 

“The time with Gabriel was real bad for her. You can probably tell,” Dagon spat the words out, chillingly white teeth baring sinisterly. She was unusually pale, almost colourless. “Not sure what you want from her but I don’t think you’re gonna get anything if I’m being honest.”

“Aziraphale,” Crowley gestured at the blonde beside him as he spoke, “and I are looking for Gabriel’s past partners. I wanted to know if they are alright.” Crowley sounded more unsure of himself as he spoke in the face of two very suspicious Omegas. They were looking at him as if he was a mad man. 

“I was with Gabriel a while ago and the day after we put in a partner registration I realised it’s not gonna work, ya know?” Crowley started to explain in a calm tone, suppressing his emotions for the whole thing. “Met Aziraphale when I wanted to withdraw the application but the application was withdrawn already...anyways he took me in and we discovered that Gabriel Archer had done it twice before.”

“Yeah, and?” Dagon and Ken were not in the mildest surprised, which was puzzling to Crowley. 

“So...we wanted to look into what happened to the Omegas before me, and if there’s something I can do,” Crowley couldn’t hold back his curiosity. “Sorry, why aren’t you surprised?”

“Surprised?” 

“About the tricks the bastard pulled?”

“You mean what Gabriel did? Pulling back partner registration?”

“Well, yeah?”

“It happens all the time,” Ken shrugged. “Why should we be surprised over such a common thing?”

Crowley and Aziraphale were speechless. Their eyes wide, jaws dropped and words lost. Neither of them had expected this. 

“You guys didn’t know? That’s bullshit,” Ken practically shouted. “Where have you been?”

“Total bullshit. Are you guys from a parallel universe or something?”

“Apparently,” Crowley shrugged, not bothered with the comments. “Can you tell us more about it?”

“You want to know about it? About Chloe?” Dagon sighed. “What for?”

Aziraphale saw Crowley staring at the direction of the now quiet Omega, soft blonde hair covering her face. He was too worried about her to speak, so Aziraphale stepped in. “Well, not exactly,” Aziraphale said. “If she doesn’t want us to know, we won’t pry into her story with Gabriel.” 

“I can tell you what she told us. Don’t think she’ll mind.” Dagon shrugged and Ken nodded in agreement. “She met Gabriel when she was an intern in his office. He was a young lawyer or something. Posh, muscular and very welcoming, or so she told us. Swept her off her feet the first week. Moved in together and everything in the next few weeks. Gabriel started going on business trips and conferences frequently, several nights away every time.”

“Was she claimed?” Crowley remembered this. The loneliness that swallowed him whole when he waited. 

“Not exactly. He did bite her, but never in rut. Nothing permanently bonding. A lot of scars though, why?” 

“I was never bitten,” Crowley sighed. 

“Lucky then. Not gonna lie, the scars on her neck and shoulders look nasty,” Ken grumbled. 

“Anyways,” Dagon took a deep breath and continued. “A week before her internship ended, Chloe discovered that she was pregnant. But it was not visible so Gabriel told her to stay quiet about that. To make sure she stays quiet, he put in registration with her.

“After her internship ended, she was told never to set foot in the office ever again. Something about if the office knew about her pregnancy, he’d be in trouble or something. Gabriel went back to the apartment less and less. Two more months later, the landlord barged in and threw her out. Saying the lease was up.

“Chloe tried to look for Gabriel, but he disappeared into thin air. The law firm said he wasn’t working there anymore and refuse to say anything more. She went to the registration office wanting to ask for help but the clerks there said there wasn’t registration under their names.”

Aziraphale and Crowley shared a look, chilled by the horror of Gabriel’s behaviour. Crowley shook slightly at the idea that he might have gone through this. 

“Do you know what the law firm he worked in?” 

“I didn’t get the name when Chloe told us,” Ken shook his head. “She said it was on the top floor of a high rise, all-white wall and shiny glasses.”

That was it. That was the building he saw Gabriel walked into the morning he decided to stalk him after Gabriel once again refused to bring him to any gathering. He remembered the shame he felt for himself that day. He was unworthy of entering that aspect of Gabriel’s life. The part with lights and success. He was unworthy to be shown to people. Staying hidden at home was the only way he was going to stay by Gabriel's side. _Stop thinking like this. It’s not you. He was wrong._ Crowley warned his inner voice. 

“He still works there.” Crowley broke the silence. 

“Well, that’s possible,” Dagon responded after a few seconds of thinking. “It makes sense, actually.”

“Make sense? How?” Crowley was getting lost. 

“We were told that there is a secret network between Alphas,” Ken said in disgust, dark eyes shooting daggers at Aziraphale. “He’d know.” Dagon was milder in her reaction, squeezing the wrist of the male Omega with a warning stare. 

“It’s alright. I can’t say that I’m surprised about all the shady business,” Aziraphale sighed in defeat. “Do you know anything else about the network?”

“Well, Gabriel is apparently one of them,” Dagon snickered. “A significant member, I was told. Apart from Chloe, I know another Omega who had it real bad.”

“I do have the name of another Gabriel's past Omega,” Aziraphale offered. “He withdrew another application.”

“Beda,” Dagon said the name before he did. “Nice guy, really. He was in much better condition than Chloe. He lives nearby with his partner actually, y’all gonna visit him?” 

“We were planning to, yes,” Aziraphale nodded.

“Should I just ring him up now?”

“If that’s alright with you. It would be extremely helpful.”

Half an hour later, the doorbell rang and Ken rushed out to let the visitors in. The moment the door opened, a loud protective snarl came from the doorway and Ken started talking in a comforting tone. As they walked in, Ken was walking at the front while a Beta holding an arm in front of a thin Omega protectively. 

“Ben, it’s quite enough,” the Omega swatted at the arm playfully and walked directly towards Crowley. He picked up Crowley hands in his own immediately. “Oh, you must be Anthony. I’m so glad you’re alright.”

Crowley was completely lost at the development of the event. The stare from the Beta made it difficult to think. Aziraphale’s protective hold on his hand grounded him a little, but the overly warm palm was distracting as well. 

“Come on, Ben. It’s alright,” the Omega, who apparently was another ex-partner of Gabriel Aziraphale was able to track down, frowned at his Beta with a pout, who finally backed down and settled in the seat next to the other two Omegas in a stiff posture, eyes glued to Azirpahle. 

“Well, I heard about Gabriel’s new Omega not long after I left. I wanted to warn you but I wasn’t really resourceful enough to track you down, with Gabriel moving to new houses, working elsewhere and everything,” he sighed in annoyance. “All I have was tall, lean, redhead, sunglasses, which seem to be pretty accurate.” Beda chuckled. “I later learned your name was Anthony Crowley. That wasn’t helpful either. It’s not like I have access to some database, right?” 

“Where did you know his name from?” Aziraphale gasped in disbelief. He had to go through dusty files to access the name of Gabriel’s previous partners. And that was thanked to the fact that the files were preserved somehow. 

“We have a network as well, believe it or not,” He turned to Azirpahle and reached out. “Beda Miller.”

“Aziraphale,” forgetting to introduce himself first made Aziraphale squirmed a bit at his lack of manners, but it was quickly ignored when Miller continued explaining. 

“People were looking into Gabriel’s tricks and they saw Anthony in his house,” Beda swallowed and glanced at the redhead. “Never saw him much elsewhere. And it fit the track record. I was still struggling a bit at the time. Not really in the shape of offering much help.” He said apologetically, for what Crowley did not know. 

“Anyways, then I met Ben and the rest is history,” he smiled affectionately at the still-tense Beta nearby, who responded with a strained grunt. 

“About this network, you just mentioned,” Aziraphale couldn’t help but smiled at the flows of love in the room, but he quickly picked back up the important information Beda just offered. “Can you tell us more?”

“Well, I’m not at the liberty to bring you into the network but I suppose a trip to the shelter is alright?” Beda answered after some thinking, sending unsure looks to his Beta. “What do you think, Ben?”

“Love, you’re the head of the shelter. You can make that call alright,” Ben reached out to the fidgeting hands and brought them to his lips for an assuring kiss. “I trust your decision regardless.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The names of the OCs might be a bit off because I'm not familiar with the naming rules. Please feel free to comment if there's any suggestion or tips of yours about naming. Or just feel free to comment about anything :)
> 
> If you are wondering about the naming of the OCs, I chose Chloe because I wanted to emphasise the lifelessness of the character with a name meaning fertility and blooming and Beda because I think it's not a gender-specific name (and also because I read on some website that it means misery and I love how it sounds). 
> 
> Have a nice weekend and thank you all for the supports<3


	9. Hitting Rock Bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Aziraphale's turn to find out more about his Alpha colleagues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovely people, I'm back again.
> 
> It's currently 2 in the morning and I'm surprisingly efficient at going through this chapter one more time before posting it. 
> 
> As always, enjoy :)

The shelter was nearby the neighbourhood they were at. Slightly obscured from the public’s eyes. Aziraphale took Crowley’s hand in his on their way there, walking side by side while keeping an eye on the surroundings. Learning about a shelter full of abused Omega made his stomach churn, and without a doubt, it must be making Crowley upset as well. 

At some point in the journey, Ben stopped in the pathway and reached out to open a hidden entrance for Beda. Aziraphale and Crowley hurried in after the pair and Ken locked the door behind them. 

The air inside has a hint of sweetness like the floral or fruity scents Omegas so often had. Yet, as they walked further into the space, the pleasant smell was cut through with a tang of bitterness. Crowley moved closer to Aziraphale and silently rubbed his forehead against the Alpha’s scent gland by his soft jawline and sighed in relief. 

By the time they stopped walking, they were in front of a room full of Omegas. Dozens of them maybe, or more. Crowley watched the waiting Omegas in silent, thinking back to the day his life changed. The Omegas sat around a rectangle table covered with paper and entangled phone lines. Most of them are speaking on the phones in gentle tones, seemingly trying to comfort the person on the other side of the line. 

“This is our reception area,” Beda explained as Ben collected some chairs for them to sit on. “Some of the Omegas in the shelter were rescued from abusive households. Out partner organisations take care of the rescue mission and medical treatment before sending them here. We also accept Omegas who leave their houses voluntarily.  After they settle down, we offer them job training or they can choose to help out in the shelter as well. We also help with signing leases, so these Omegas could get back onto their feet and start a new life.” 

Crowley tried to take the environment in and Beda was kind enough to answer some of his questions as they popped up. 

  
  


“Do you want to talk to some about their experience?” Beda turned to Crowley and asked as they walked into an office-looked room. “Most of us went through similar things. Might get some insights about the network that you’re looking into.”

“That’d be great, thanks, mate,” Crowley nodded appreciatively and followed Beda’s lead to sit in one of the empty seats next to a dark-haired Omega. The Omega had a soft smile on his face, greyish-green eyes looked into Crowley’s honey-coloured with endless gentleness. 

“This is Newton, we mostly call him Newt,” Beda said and gestured between them. “He’s one of the gentlest soul you’ll ever meet. Oh, don’t let him touch your electronic devices. But I'm sure you’ll get along fine.” Newt chuckled nervously in response and reached out to shake Crowley’s hand as Beda continued. “Newt, this is Crowley. He wants to know more about the Alpha network that we’ve been working on and what we all went through.” 

“Sure, I can walk you through some of our findings,” Newt agreed and pulled a tablet towards himself, which shut down the moment he picked it up. He scratched at the back of his neck in embarrassment and chuckled. “Um...hm...well, I guess we can start with your questions then. If you don’t mind.” 

“Of course,” Crowley felt himself began to warm up to the Omega fairly quickly. “I was wondering if you know anything about Alpha withdrawing partner registrations? I’ve experienced it once recently and...well, my current partner,” he threw a coy smile at Aziraphale behind him. “And I discovered that it’s kind of a common practice.” 

“Well, we believe that it is,” Newt nodded in agreement. “Personally, I’ve gone through one a couple of years ago with my previous Alpha, as well. Some of our other members have gone through it as well. Would you like to talk to them? At the meantime, I can ask someone to pull some records from our database for you. The Witchfinder Army has been looking for abnormal events and collecting information about them. ”

“The Witchfinder?” 

“Oh, it’s a dumb name we’ve been calling ourselves, for fun mostly,” Newt chuckled nervously. “The Sergeant and I have been working on it for quite some time now.”

The increasingly confused expressions on the pair’s faces cut Newt’s rambling short. He cleared his throat as he stood up. “Well, probably have no idea about what I’m rambling on about if you haven’t met the man. Just watch out for his finger, yeah? Now, shall we?”

Crowley looked at Aziraphale for hints of whether he should accept the offer or not. In turn, the Alpha leaned into him and laid a hand over Crowley’s. “Honey, we are in this together,” his plump fingers squeezed Crowley’s thin palm gently. “We can go talk to them now if you feel like it. If it is overwhelming, we can make appointments with them and come back some other day. I’m here to support you. Not to tell you what to do.”

Crowley was still unsure. He has discovered more cruelty than he expected tonight, but he felt driven to find out more. He took a deep breath, taking in the calming scent of his Alpha and gave a soft nod to Newt. 

_ Great, so there are more.  _ Crowley thought to himself in great melancholy. His springing hope was crushed again as they learn more about the extent of the Alpha network. The Omegas they talked to has been abandoned after their Alpha put in registration with them after they were accidentally impregnated, tried to make themselves known to the Alpha’s other associates, or what have you. The reasons for their registrations varied, but the endings were the same. 

Sitting in Aziraphale’s car alone, Crowley sobbed helplessly. He ran out of the room when he was overwhelmed by the circumstances and Aziraphale took him back to the vehicle. The Alpha was now back in the shelter thanking and apologising to the Omegas in there and probably set up a date for them to revisit when Crowley was better. 

Crowley felt useless. He was the one asking to learn more about the situation and also the one running away from it. He felt disgusted by his cowardice and started bumping his forehead on his tight fists to get rid of the sick feeling. 

As Aziraphale walked back towards the car, he saw waves of red locks moving in weird repetitive motions. It didn’t take long for him to figure out what Crowley was doing to himself and rushed towards the car. He threw himself behind the wheel and pulled to Omega’s lean arms to a halt with a tad more force than he’d like to use. Remembering what the Omega demanded of him the night before, he guided his chin up into a gentle kiss, pouring all his love and adoration for Crowley into the simple act. 

Crowley’s lips were sticky and tasted of salt, but neither of them minded. Aziraphale rubbed the wet cheek with soothing motions while Crowley kissed back frantically and hung onto his neck for dear life. 

“Hey, my gorgeous boy,” Aziraphale slowed down the frantic storm the kiss had become and murmured against Crowley’s lips between each kiss. “You were so brave in there. I’m so proud of you. I absolutely adore you and I love you so, so, so much. Now. Let’s go home and rest, alright?”

After he pressed the last kiss on the now bright red lips, he let himself to be pulled into a tight embrace. The arms around his neck were so tight it was almost painful but he knew it was nothing compared with the pain Crowley was going through. Streaks of wet red locks rubbed at his cheeks as Crowley nodded, dampening his cheeks as well. The vulnerability of the Omega was crushing his heart. He so wanted to be the strong Alpha and shield Crowley from all the harms but he couldn’t. The systematic cruelty was too powerful for him to fight against. 

“Come on. Let’s go home,” Aziraphale sighed as he kissed Crowley on the cheek and pulled back to drive them both home. 

Crowley felt the urge to say something despite not really knowing what to say when Aziraphale tucked him into their nest and laid gentle kisses on his face. He tugged the hem of the ridiculous tartan pyjama to catch the attention of the Alpha. 

“We should talk, angel,” he whispered in an uncertain voice. 

“Yes, we should,” Aziraphale agreed in a comforting tone while he settled himself down nicely beside Crowley. “When we are both better rested.” The redhead responded with a noncommittal sound and shifted around to face Aziraphale. 

“Thank you for putting up with me,” he sighed softly with glistening eyes. 

“There is nothing to put up with, my love,” Aziraphale wiped away the spilling tears before they dampened the pillows. “You did great today. I couldn’t be more proud of you when you tried to learn more about the situation despite how discouraging they might be to you.

“This is not your fight alone. I should put in my efforts as well. I will go and see if there is more to this tomorrow. There might be more traces left in the system. If I can reach the right people, perhaps there is a way to fix this. Perhaps we can stop more people from getting hurt,” his voice grew lower as he spoke, dampened by the sorrow he saw today. 

“Angel, the network is too big. We have to be careful,” Crowley’s brows furrowed in concerns. He pushed himself into Aziraphale’s sturdy arms and nuzzled at the soft flesh of his chest. Thinking about what their future might be. “Let’s run away together, hm? At least we have each other?”

“Crowley,” the blonde pressed a kiss on top of the ocean of red waves. “I don’t want you to live on with a sense of guilt for the rest of your life. It’s not yet hopeless. Let’s try and do something first. Sleep and get some rest. We’ll see what to do next when I learn more tomorrow.”

  
  


What Aziraphale found the next day was beyond shocking. He was sick to the stomach as he read through the files of withdrawn registration requests. As he went through the records, he realised that these “invalid” files had all been processed by a handful of clerks. Most of them a tight circle of Alphas. Some of them he had unpleasant interactions with. 

Most of the files were taken care of by one of his colleagues called Sandalphon, whom he had carefully steered clear of for years since he first heard of the man’s aggressive and arrogant nature. He tried to recall the few times he heard the Alpha talked when they walked past each other and realised how blind he had been. Sandalphon had openly spoken of the Omegas he left helpless in hotels room or taxis and other Alphas around him simply laughed it off. As Aziraphale tried harder to remember, the distorted expression and the sinister laughter of Sandalphon became more vivid in his mind. He felt like he could puke from the memories. 

“What are you doing with the files?” As he was deep in his head, he heard a deep voice from behind. Aziraphale jumped and saw Sandalphon’s smug face as he turned around. The metal tooth added in an evil spark to his smirk and Aziraphale couldn’t help but feel his stomach churned. 

“Well, I’ve been handling some cases of invalid registrations but I couldn’t see how they were deemed invalid in the first place,” Aziraphale swallowed nervously and patted the non-existing creases on his suit jacket. “So I thought why not see how similar cases were done in the past.”

“Well,” the bald Alpha stepped a bit closer to Aziraphale as he chuckled and cracked his thick neck with a menacing smirk, showing the metal tooth more. “They are invalid because Alphas make the rules. Not you, apparently. But most of us who are actually Alphas make rules for the rest of the world to follow.

“And, when we want to get rid of someone, we get rid of someone. No questions asked. This is what connections are for. Alphas are the same. We dominate the others by helping each other out. Which is what I suggest you do, you sorry excuse for an Alpha.” He spat out word by word in Aziraphale’s face and turned his heels to leave. 

Aziraphale was shocked and disgusted by how opened Sandalphon was about the dirty deeds of Alphas and the threats himself was just subjected to. He had to find out more to determine what to do next, but he also had to be more careful. He should be discreet and ask the right questions. 

The first person he turned to was Uriel, a dark-skinned colleague of his. Although the woman was an Alpha, she did not appear to be as aggressive as others were and as far as he was concerned, Uriel seemed too detached to people to be associates of such an Alpha network. She held herself high with an emotionless attitude whenever Aziraphale saw her. Even if she did not respond well to Aziraphale's questions, he believed that she would not go through the trouble to rat him out to the gang of Alphas. 

“Uriel,” Aziraphale carefully approached her when she was refilling her mug with heated water during her break. “Do you mind a few questions?”

She turned her neck to look at Aziraphale with unfeeling eyes, a bright hazel colour but deep like a bottomless pit. “Depends,” she said in a chillingly calm voice. 

“Well, I was wondering if you’ve encountered any invalid registration,” the stream of water stopped with a final drop. The small room was filled with the soft churning of machines, leaving the two in dreadful silence. “I’ve been clueless about how to handle one of the cases I’m currently responsible for.”Aziraphale felt the lump in his throat dropping into his stomach as Uriel stared into his eyes with her lifeless eyes. 

“In that case, I suggest you transfer the cases to Sandalphon. He is usually responsible for such cases,” she responded after an unnerving pause. 

Aziraphale couldn't respond to that. He did not know what to say.  _ She knows, _ Aziraphale screamed in his head, but his vocal cord refused to make a single sound.  He realised how naive he was before.  _ No gut instinct from now on _ , he scolded himself. 

  
  


Aziraphale began the long process of remembering the trivia of his co-workers. He thought back to the details of their comments on pitiful Omegas in the corners of the office and their drunken slurring. It soon became clear to him that no one was trustworthy on the matter. He had to reach the higher authority and he had to do it discreetly. 

The perfectly white wall seemed more ghastly as he stared at it while pacing. His heart grew cold as the reality sank in. How he stayed so ignorant to the systematic oppression he did not know, and there were no excuses for that. He wondered if he had been complicit on the matter. While he did not mean to cause harm to any Omegas he met, it was difficult to tell if he unintentionally did so. 

While Aziraphale was deep in thoughts, several of his coworkers closed in on him. There was no way out of it by the time Aziraphale realised a small crowd of angry Alphas was around him. They snarled lowly at him, urging him to a corner which was less visible to the incoming visitors. He’d seen most of the faces and knew some of them personally, but he found no point in recognising them now. It was clear that he was the alien amongst them. It was clear that in the end, he was still an unfit Alpha. Anyhow, he hardly cared now. If being an Alpha is such a nasty business, he would rather be an exile.

Sandalphon led the group, of course. His metal tooth caught the light of the cold office lighting and shed merciless light in Aziraphale’s face. He shoved the blonde on the shoulder harshly when his back was close to the wall. Aziraphale felt the air rushed out of his chest. He wanted to shout but he knew his voice, however loud it may be, would only be drowned in the crowd. Unless he found the right approach to the problem, he wouldn’t be able to fight these Alpha. He was no match for them to start with, let alone fighting a group of them.

“There is nothing you can do,” Sandalphon growled the words into his face. Damp breaths making Aziraphale sick. “And there is nothing for you to do. We take care of things. If things come up to you, you turn them to us. Understand?”

Aziraphale wanted to argue that Omegas are people just like Alphas, but he decided that holding onto that wouldn’t make a difference at all and felt guilty at not standing up against the obviously wrong statement. He nodded weakly, instead. 

“Good,” Sandalphon chuckled and walked away with some of his closest associates, leaving Aziraphale in the middle of a smaller group of Alphas. 

“You’ve gone native with the Omegas,” another Alpha came up and spat the words at Aziraphale. The well-built body reminded him of Crowley’s last Alpha, Gabriel. “Look at yourself. This is not the body for an Alpha,” the muscular Alpha pointedly nudged at the round belly of Aziraphale with a mocking smirk. 

“You’ve gone soft. Good luck trying to rat us out.” 

_ He had to leave. He couldn’t let them do this to him. He needed to stay strong, for Crowley _ . Aziraphale screamed to himself. He tried to block the hurtful comments and threats as they continued. Several Alphas later, they seemed to lost interests in him and the crowd dissipated. 

Slightly disoriented, Aziraphale found himself packing his bag and leaving the office early. He had to go to Crowley. 

  
  
  


Crowley was surprised when he heard the door opened by four in the afternoon. Aziraphale usually came back around six. He carefully peeked out of his room, trying not to make any noise, in case it was an intruder instead of his Alpha. However, the moment he caught the sight of Aziraphale, he was horrified by the state of the Alpha. The usually meticulous clothing of the blonde was full of creases and his beautiful blue eyes puffy. 

Crowley bolted out of his room and threw himself at the Alpha, but the moment he buried his face in the broad shoulder, he almost retched out loud. Aziraphale’s usually warm scent was covered by multiple aggressive scents of other Alpha. Crowley immediately pulled himself away from the round body and searched for injuries. His honey-coloured eyes were full of worry and confusion as he found no wounds. He looked up into Aziraphale’s eyes and realised they were tearful before he could utter a word. 

“I’m fine, Crowley. I’m fine,” the Alpha choked as he sobbed out the words, which made Crowley all the more worried. He could see Aziraphale needed hugs and cuddles, so he stepped closer to him, fighting the urge to puke. 

“Let’s get you clean and comfy, eh?” Crowley cooed as he felt the blonde relaxed into his embrace. He interlaced their fingers and pulled Aziraphale to the shower. 

Aziraphale numbly looked at Crowley as he drew a bath and brought in robes and towels. It was difficult to come back to himself after the afternoon he just went through. He couldn’t get his mind off from the fear he felt when surrounded by the Alphas and couldn’t begin to imagine how it might be to Omegas. 

His train of thoughts was interrupted when Crowley’s nimble fingers came up to undo his buttons. He jumped and caught the long fingers in his hands. 

“I can do this, thank you, sweetheart,” he smiled wryly. 

“It’s alright,” the redhead smiled back softly and pressed a chaste kiss on the lips. “We all have bad days, let me.”

Aziraphale let him. Evidently, it was way more efficient, for they soon stepped into the warm bath together and Crowley busied himself with the task of cleaning his Alpha. 

The redhead placed a small collection of cleansers and soaps on the stool beside the bathtub and attempted to manipulate himself to settle behind the Alpha but was stopped midway. 

“I want to be able to see you,” Aziraphale pleaded coyly. 

“Of course,” Crowley agreed immediately and kneeled between the Alpha’s thick thighs. He rubbed shampoo into the white curls of the blonde, careful not to let suds run into the half-closed eyes. His eyes squinted and tongue slightly poked out from between his pink lips in concentration. 

“You look adorable like this,” Aziraphale comment softly.

“Yeah?” Crowley chuckled as he booped the small indent on the Alpha’s nose with a mischievous wink. 

“Hm,” Aziraphale hummed and guided the lean body on top of him down to cuddle. 

“Feeling better?” Crowley murmured against Azirphale’s jawline and the Alpha nodded in response. 

“Good, go rinse yourself and I’ll run us another bath,” he swatted at the soft chest and earning himself a petulant pout. “I’ve got to say, your coworkers do not smell nice.”

Aziraphale winced at that. He’d been so focused on his own misery and forgot to take care of Crowley’s feelings. “I’m sorry, my love,” he sighed his apology but was stopped halfway with a soft kiss. 

“It’s alright,” Crowley smiled while he guided Aziraphale up. “I missed your scent, is all.”

Aziraphale quickly rinsed himself under the shower and stepped back into the tub, leaving generous space for Crowley to join him. The Omega smiled and laid himself down onto the welcoming body. 

They exchanged soft touches and kisses for a while until the phone suddenly rang and they both sat up in an instant. Aziraphale first stepped out of the tub and threw a robe around himself. 

“I’ll take care of it, take your time,” he nuzzled Crowley’s temple as he spoke and walked out of the bathroom. 

By the time Aziraphale went to the phone, the ringing had stopped. He looked at the number of the unanswered call and frown. It was Beaz. He took a deep breath and dialled back. The call was picked up almost immediately.

“Hey, care to set up a meeting?” The Alpha said in a low voice. “I heard about what happened today.”

Aziraphale was stunned speechless.  _ How did Beaz know? Was he watched? Does it mean they are part of the network? _ He panicked but couldn’t find the right words to say. How could he explain the call to Crowley?

“Come to my place and be discreet. We don’t want your friends to pick on you anymore, do we?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this, and please, as always, feel free to leave a comment <3
> 
> Reading the comments always makes my day a lot brighter, for which I'm extremely grateful, especially in this confusing day and age QAQ


	10. Meeting the Bastards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley finally see the work Beaz has been doing and Crowley went on a mission!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people, I'm posting a day earlier than usual because I'm going on a short trip tomorrow with my friends. The situation here is rather in control, so travelling is safe as long as we wear masks on public transportations, which I will most definitely do. (We have a $500 fine for not wearing a mask on public transportations)
> 
> Please enjoy this chapter and please feel free to comment. Your comments really make my days :)

Even five minutes into the drive, Crowley was still in a daze, confused about why Aziraphale and he were now following Beaz’s van around the city. Aziraphale seemed a tad restless, but it was nothing compare to what Crowley felt. 

Two hours ago, he was just drying himself after a comfortable soak with his Alpha, when the said Alpha rushed in and helped him get dressed in a hurry, saying something about visiting his sibling. Dark dress shirt and tight trousers (Not the skin tight ones. Aziraphale knew better than stuffing a still damp Crowley into some very tight fabrics.) were pulled over his limbs, and they were off. 

When they arrived at Beaz’s driveway, their small figure lurked by the back entrance and pulled a heavy canvas over Aziraphale’s car as soon as the pair got out of it. 

Crowley hadn’t the faintest clue about what was going on. He was still in the dark about what happened to Aziraphale during his workday and made him stank of other Alphas. Whatever happened, it must have been bad. Crowley just didn’t know how bad. He followed the two Alphas into the Beaz’s house as he tried hard to figure out the situation he was in.

“Are you an idiot or what, Aziraphale?” The moment they all stepped into the room, Beaz snapped at the blonde. “You could have sabotaged all the work we’ve been doing!” 

Based on how Aziraphale’s pink lips opened and closed, Crowley knew he was just clueless about what Beaz was talking about as Crowley was. Beaz looked really mad. He hadn’t seen them like this for a very long time. Probably not ever. 

“You better have an explanation for provoking those dickhead Alphas like you did today? Or you’re in deep…” Beaz bit out their words with a vicious snarl.

“You what! Aziraphale!” Crowley shouted out in anger, interrupting. “Why would you do that? Didn’t we agree on gathering more information before we act?”

“Well, that was what I planned to do,” Aziraphale swallowed nervously in front the Crowleys, then admitted in defeat, pouting ever so slightly. “I got caught.”

“You think those records are just lying everywhere for random people to ruffle through?” Beaz scolded. Their small face bright red in anger. “You have no idea what your stupid actions got our people into. We could have lost some valuable agents.” They audibly swallowed and fuzzed with the hem of their shirt to calm themselves before continuing. “You are going to the base to get things settled, whether you like it or not, now that you are knee-deep in this. Come on.”

“Wait, Beaz, what base?” Crowley did not like this, being totally clueless about the situation. He felt like being helplessly passing around all over again. “We are not going anywhere before getting a clearer picture,” he blocked between the two Alphas, trying to stop the situation from progressing. 

“Fine,” Beaz spat with an annoyed look. “I should’ve known you two are together in this. Ugh… Sit down,” they ordered, and the pair sat down obediently. 

“Long story short. I am part of a group trying to stop the oppression on Omegas, and your silly Alpha totally put us in danger by his impulsive actions.”

“What group? You must have a name for it?” Crowley had never heard of things like this. 

“No we don’t. Can we go now? I really don’t have time for this,” they gestured to them to get up impatiently. “Whatever question you have, we can take care of it after we get to the base.”

That’s basically why Crowley and Aziraphale were following Beaz black van to an unknown destination. As they drove closer into the city centre, the road got more crowded, and Beaz kept doing abrupt turns as if they wanted to get rid of any stalkers, which, in this context, would be Crowley and Aziraphale. They finally ended up in an underground carpark, full of vans and small trucks. Aziraphale’s tiny beige Beetle stood out significantly, making Crowley nervous about the place they’re about to go to. Standing out never meant good things for him. 

Beaz punched in a string of code into the keypad by the door and shoved them into the mysterious room. Crowley stumbled on his feet and felt Aziraphale quickly gathered him into his arms, supporting him and shielding him from what was to come. He was not exactly afraid for himself. Beaz would never put him in harm's way, but the same cannot be extended to Aziraphale. So he stayed alert, ready to strike if Beaz came for his Alpha. As the heavy door clicked behind them, the room immediately lit up. Crowley wanted to bury his face in Aziraphale’s chest to avoid the harsh spotlight, but he didn’t dare to look away. The person in front of them has platinum blonde hay-like hair, hanging all over the place over his pale face. 

“A bit dramatic, isn’t it?” The man spoke with hysterical laughter in his voice. Something about his pronunciation was off, drawing Crowley’s attention to his messy teeth. 

“Whatever,” Beaz snorted and walked towards the man. “Sit,” they waved their hand abstractly backwards. Crowley and Aziraphale were confused at the order for there were no chairs around them. 

“You want them to sit on the floor?” The man laughed out loud. “Ah, ha ha ha. That was good.” His voice went higher and higher as his mad laugh continued until he had to stop for breath. “Ah...Beaz, that was good.”

Without warning, he turned to Aziraphale and Crowley on the other side of the room and walked towards them with two folded chairs under his arms. With dragging steps, he finally put the chairs down. 

“Anyways, guys, welcome to Bastard from Hell. That’s a name Beaz here would never agree to but they left the introduction to me, so Bastard from Hell it is!” The Alpha announced proudly while Beaz groaned in regret behind him. “Sit, you two. Make yourselves comfortable,” he gestured at Aziraphale with one of the chairs as he opened another and offered it to Crowley. 

Crowley and Aziraphale were looking at the man with cautious eyes, wondering why Beaz brought them here in the first place. 

Beaz suddenly made an unrecognised gesture at the full mirror behind them, and the wall beside it slid open, suddenly filled the room with laughter. A handful of people walked in, cheering enthusiastically and added onto Crowley’s confusion. 

“Hastur, you lovely mad man,” a dark-skinned Beta said as he walked towards the white-haired man, with a smirk on his face. They embraced briefly and purposefully pecked each other’s cheek with a loud kiss. “Look what you did to these poor people.” 

Crowley searched for his sibling only to find them engaging in conversation with a dark-haired female at the corner. The woman looked pale, almost sickly, and pressed their already colourless lips firmly together in a stern expression. He didn’t know if he should call out. The female looked alarmingly familiar. Then it suddenly clicked. It was Chloe’s neighbour, Dagon. The woman somehow looked different here, more forceful and more chilling. 

Another female Omega appeared between them and laid her arms on their shoulders. Her sweet and fruity scent made Crowley feel more comfortable than he probably should with strangers. The Omegas reminded him of the good old days where he sat on the porch and scooped spoonfuls of honeydew melons as dessert. 

“Hey, guys. I am responsible for new recruits,” she squeezed their shoulders and pressed gently as a hint to turn around. “Amanda Tan, nice to meet you both.” Amanda was evidently so welcoming, that although they had no idea how they became the new recruits, Crowley and Aziraphale, in turn, took the offered hand and gave their names. 

  
  


“Now, I’m afraid I have to bring Aziraphale to the next room for some questions,” she nodded apologetically at the pair. “Why don’t we all walk together and we can take a look around the base while we wait for you Alpha?”

Crowley nodded nervously. “Is he in trouble?” 

“Well, Beaz was mad at him, so I guess he is sort of in trouble? But he’ll come back unharmed. We just need more information to plan the extraction of our agents.” Crowley let out a breath at that and Aziraphale leaned in to scent him. 

“It’s alright, love. I’ll come to find you as soon as I’m done,” he cooed. “Lead the way, please, Ms Tan.”

“Amanda’s alright,” the Beta chuckled, and they walked towards one of the corners. She pressed the surface, and the hidden door turned to reveal the attached room. One of the people inside stood up to greet them and guided Aziraphale to the table. Aziraphale released his hand and followed. Amanda shut the door behind them and guided Crowley back into the crowded room.

Walking with Amanda was easy. The Omega was friendly and talkative. Despite his concerns for Aziraphale in the next room, having a friendly face around helped. Amanda led him out of the room into a corridor. The corridor was dark and not exactly clean. He could see a smudge here and there, which he had no interest in knowing what it was. Most of the doors were locked with heavy padlocks. Cool lights shone through from the few that weren’t locked.

Amanda briefly introduced each room to Crowley. Apparently the work they did includes coordinating undercover agents, extracting threatened victims, information gathering, and coming up with a solution, which was not specified to what. She led him to the room at the end of the corridor. She cocked her brow mischievously, hinting at the nameplate on the door. 

He looked up and sucked in a breath when he saw  _ BEAZ _ on the door. His gaze darted between Amanda’s smiley face and the capitalised letters for a few seconds, trying to figure out what question to ask. Amanda didn’t bother to wait. She knocked on the door with sure knuckles. 

“Wait!” Crowley yelped, again confused about what was going on, but the door was open instantly. 

“Come in, brother,” Beaz holding the door for them both from the inside. “Thanks for taking care of him, Amanda. I’ll take it from here. Bring his Alpha back once they’re done with the questioning.”

“Sure,” Amanda practically sang the word out as she gave a little bow and turned on her heels. 

“You’re alright?” Beaz sank into their giant seat and asked with a deep voice. 

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, my people told me that Aziraphale got into some trouble at work. I assumed it was because of you.”

“I haven’t talked to him about what happened at work. He got home upset and covered in other Alphas’ scents so I made him take a bath first thing.” Crowley shrugged in defeat. He really should have asked about what happened sooner, which would be a lot more helpful now than enjoying himself in warm water and Aziraphale’s warm arms. 

“Hm, that’s alright,” Beaz nodded thoughtfully. “We had to pull back one or two agents, but they’re bound to return in the next few weeks anyway.” 

“What is it that you’re doing? Bastards from Hell?” None of the talks about agents made sense to Crowley and now that he’s being questioned by his mysterious sibling and their mysterious office, he had to ask. 

“Uh… I hate that name! Stupid Hastur… but, well, fair question. I guess I haven’t let you know about my work,” Beaz rubbed their hands together in an apologetic frown and pushed themself up to sit a bit straighter. “This base that I’m working in is part of a resistance group against the Alphas. We looked like a gang to most people.”

“That you do,” Crowley grumbled, mad about how chaotic his day had become. 

“Well, looking like a gang saves you a lot of troubles, it turns out. Big brother,” Beaz snorted at the overreaction but continued calmly. “We have been rescuing domestically abused Omegas, sometimes Betas, and settling them down in shelters or helping them rent apartments.”

“Wait, shelters for Omegas?” Crowley gasped, remembering the shelter they visited yesterday. “That was part of your work?”

“Well, yes. We don’t engage in the day to day operation there, but we bring people there and as Alphas, we help with getting funds and leases and stuff like that,” Beaz casually listed a few tasks they took care of in the past. “And for the operation, we leave it to…”

“Beda,” Crowley interrupted. 

“Yes,” Beaz raised one of their dark brows in question.

“Aziraphale and I went to a shelter yesterday,” Crowley explained. “We were asking questions. He found Gabriel’s past partners and we decided to visit them.”

“Okay, that explains something. I thought Dagon went mad when she tried to tell me that she saw you the other day,” Beaz laughed softly. “You guys after something?”

“I felt guilty knowing that there are more people out there being treated like the way I was and wanted to know if they got over that already,” Crowley lowered his gaze, feeling silly about causing all these troubles because of his feelings.”

“That’s reasonable,” Beaz responded in a surprisingly comforting voice. “And how did you two end up in a shelter?”

“We visited Chloe, and her roommate Ken and Dagon,” he paused.  _ Oh, that was why the female talking with Beaz looked familiar. _ “You knew Dagon?”

“Hm,” Beaz made an affirmative sound. “Close friends.”

“Okay… anyways, they introduced us to Beda and Ben and they brought us to the shelter. That’s about it.”

He was definitely not telling his sibling about his breakdowns. And his night holding Aziraphale close in despair was not a plausible topic either. Well, that’s basically it. Crowley did not have much to share with Beaz on how he found the shelter. Thankfully, the mobile on the edge of Beaz desk suddenly rang, and they picked it up to take a look. They cursed under their breath. 

“Duty calls, wanna come?” 

“Can I?” Crowley was unsure about tagging along without knowing if he was supposed to show up at whatever duty Beaz was going to perform. 

“Sure, you’ll be able to calm the Omega quicker than I can,” Beaz jangled a ring of keys in their hand with a determined expression on their face. 

They rushed out of the base, shouted at the crowd to leave a message for Aziraphale about their trip, and hopped into Beaz’s van in a few minutes. As Crowley secured himself in the seatbelt, the door behind him was opened, and an overly excited Amanda hopped in with a stuffed duffle bag. 

“All set, boss,” she said calmly as she settled down behind them and the van pulled off. 

Beaz’s driving was way above the speed limits, but Crowley did not complain a word. He felt excitement tingling on his fingertips, and he did not know what to say in the evidently tensed atmosphere. Amanda did not appear as relaxed as she was in the base. Chewing on her lower lip, her fingers held onto the door so firmly, her knuckles were white. 

The van suddenly left the Main Street and started rushing from alley to alley. 

“Thirty-five seconds away,” Beaz growled, and Amanda nodded in acknowledgement. She pushed a thick blanket into Crowley’s hands and instructed. “You’ll go with me. Third floor. First apartment by the emergency exit. We run up the stairs, wait there for Beaz to open the door, get the victim out, and we come back to the car, yeah?” Crowley nodded nervously, and Amanda squeezed his upper arm reassuringly. 

“Now!” Beaz yelled, and the two of them hurried out of the vehicle and to the staircase. He didn’t look back, but at the corner of his eyes, he saw Beaz parked the car and walked towards the main entrance.

They run upstairs was a haze. Crowley ended up panting breathlessly at the emergency entrance with Amanda. They listened to any movements on the other side and finally heard the lift open. There was a knock on the door, the door opening, a loud thump sounding like something falling to the ground, and Beaz yelling “go!”

Amanda took the lead and rushed into the apartment. A bloodied Omega was laying on the floor covered in torn clothes, holding a tiny blanket. Amanda helped the Omega up and gestured at Crowley’s blanket. “Help her up and down into the van. I’ll go find the infant.”

Crowley nodded. He shook the thick blanket open and covered the Omega with it. As he helped her stand up, she groaned but did not seem to be bleeding out. Most of the wounds looked like shallow cuts and scratches. 

He didn’t know if he should use the lift. Walking through the lobby with a woman covered in blood did not sound like a good idea to him. Stairs it was, then. The woman could barely walk. Crowley had to support most of her weight as they went down the stairs. The moment they stumbled out of the staircase, he let out a relieved breath as he spotted the van nearby. The door wasn’t locked, so he settled the blanket-covered Omega in the passenger seat. The stuffed duffle bag laid half-opened on the ground nearby. He went through the content and picked up a packaged juice for the Omega to sip. Sobbing and out of breath, she was obviously unable to take the package herself. Crowley had to hold it for her as they waited for Beaz and Amanda. 

Amanda ran towards the car five minutes later with a ball of fluffy blankets in her arms. As she came nearer, Crowley could hear the weak cry from it and so could the Omega, who struggled to sit up but rasped out repeatedly, “my baby boy, my baby boy.” Amanda handed over the infant to Crowley and hopped into the driver seat, starting the vehicle instantly. She was doing countless tasks at the same time. She turned on the engine, leaned over to open the car door for Beaz, and yelled at Crowley almost at the same time. 

“Let her see her baby!” She shouted and frantically waved her hand at the building to get Beaz’s attention. They were slightly stumbling, seemingly injured in their legs. Nothing red and they could still hold themself up so Crowley decided it should be alright.

On their way back, the Omega laid a hand weakly on Crowley’s wrist, which was where the bundle of the infant rest. She couldn’t really move or speak, but her breath pattern gradually stabilised as she tired to coo her baby. 

The installed radio flicked open after a few minutes of quiet drive. All of them trying to recover from the rescue mission. A man’s voice cut through the silence. It was Hastur, wasn’t it? Although without the hysterical laughing, Crowley could still recognise the overly aspirated pronunciation. 

“All back?” The voice asked.

“Yeah, need a medic,” Beaz grunted in response, eyes scanning through everyone else in the van. 

“You’re hurt?”

“For the victim, you dickhead.”

“Well, sure. I’ll get you a medic,” the man snorted. “Get back soon, your darling brother’s Alpha is losing his mind.” The comment on Aziraphale was followed with a string of hysterical giggles, riling up Crowley’s nerves.

“Aziraphale?” He shouted at nothing, assuming that it was how the radio system in this van works. “Is he alright?” Which, evidently, was a good guess because he heard the Alpha’s response in the background of all the loud giggles. 

“Crowley? Oh, thank heaven you’re alright.”

Beaz snorted at that and turned off the radio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last few chapters are almost done!  
> I am feeling a bit sentimental while I write recently.


	11. Heating up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley join Anathema and Newt back to the shelter after the Omega recovered and something unexpected happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, I just had a really weird day.   
> I've been dozing off for almost the entire daytime for no reason...
> 
> Here's the chapter please enjoy :)

Everything progressed very quickly after the van was parked by the entrance of the base. A young female Alpha came up to the van with two equally young male Betas behind her. 

“Miss, you are safe now. I am Pepper, and my colleagues, Brian and Wensleydale will take you inside for a quick check-up and some treatments,” she gestured at the two Betas and the stretcher they were holding. “You do not have to move. They will take good care of you.

“I will take the baby with me for a while, just to stop the pack bonding from continuing,” as she spoke, she offered her wrist to the woman for her to sniff her scent, which she seemed comfortable with and responded with a weak nod. 

“Good, I will bring him to you as soon as you are taken care of,” Pepper promised and reached for the infant in Crowley’s arm. Crowley was nowhere as composed as the young Alpha and let go of the baby he was holding. He looked at the young Alpha with amazed eyes. Pepper reminded him of Beaz’s youth, so much confidence and grace in such a small body. 

“Thank you, Mister Crowley,” she nodded at him with an overly formal posture, making Crowley frown in awkwardness. He was beginning to suspect everyone here already knew of him before Aziraphale and he showed up. 

“Just Crowley is fine,” he mumbled. 

“Of course, Crowley,” she did the overly formal gesture again even without using the term mister and Crowley decided to give up. Pepper seemed to be happy with that and stepped away, gesturing to the nearby Betas to start their work.

The Betas took a few steps forwards and introduced themselves briefly. All three of them gave Amanda and Beaz a nod and carried the Omega and the baby inside as gently as possibly. 

As everything around him calmed down, Crowley searched his surroundings for Aziraphale and realised there was no other Alpha beside Beaz, which was weird because Crowley saw quite a few before he left for the rescue mission. Amanda caught onto his confusion before he could ask and responded. 

“Having that many Alphas around will freak the poor woman out,” she explained with a soft chuckle. “Your Alpha should be inside Beaz’s office.” He looked at Beaz, who seemed to pay him no mind and started dozing off in the driver seat, and gave their short black hair a ruffle before hopping off the van and ran inside. 

When it comes to recognising the way, Crowley wasn’t good at it. It took him a bit longer than he would like to find Beaz’s office and it earned him a few weird looks rushing in and out of rooms. He knew it was finally the right room when he could smell a faint hint of spice from outside the door.

“Aziraphale,” he sighed as he pushed open the door and fell into a warm embrace, which felt like dream come true for the lonely boy he had always been.  _ He wanted to walk through a door and be welcomed. And he had that now. But what were the alternatives? Being beaten up like the woman he carried out of her own home today? _ He knew Aziraphale wouldn’t do that to him but there was no say in whether that could’ve been his life had he not met Aziraphale. 

_ He was so close to being that Omega, wasn’t he? _

Crowley allowed himself to enjoy the loving petting of his Alpha for a few more seconds before pulling away.  _ He had to go see. _

“I have to go see the Omega,” he said in a low voice, not knowing if the request was silly. 

“Sure,” Aziraphale agreed instantly but stayed still.

“I’ll see you later back here,” Crowley nodded in appreciation and turned to the door.

“I’ll come with you, Crowley,” Aziraphale smiled so warmly and so lovingly. Crowley wanted to cry. “We are together in this, remember?” 

“Yes, Alpha,” Crowley stifled a sob as he hugged Aziraphale tightly. 

  
  


A considerable crowd were gathering outside the room that was used as the treatment room. The pair spotted a familiar face who they’ve met at the shelter the night before. 

“Newt?” Aziraphale greeted him with a handshake and a questioning gasp, which the Omega responded with a coy smile. 

“Hello, Aziraphale and Crowley, isn’t it?” He rubbed at the back of his head nervously. “Are you feeling better?”

Crowley was embarrassed about his breakdown last night but being cared for was a nice feeling, so he made a soft affirmative noise and nodded.

“How are you here?” Aziraphale smiled at Crowley’s adorable reaction and resumed the conversation. 

“My partner–Anathema–is the medic,” his gaze turned to the closed door shyly. “We’ll bring Tracy back to the shelter once she was treated. This is not exactly an ideal place for an Omega to recover.”

“Tracy? That’s the Omega’s name?” Crowley asked. Everything was a bit of a rush when he was on the rescue mission. “Is she alright?”

“Well, she’s not severely hurt, but she is very weak at the moment,” Newt winced at how easily Anathema had transferred Tracy from the stretcher to the surface without much help. “It seems like she hasn’t eaten properly for quite a while.”

If anyone was casting insights about how light the wounded Omega was, Crowley would be qualified to weigh in. He remembered how easily he carried the woman downstairs. Human life was so fragile and Omegas’ lives were proven to be worthless again and again. Alphas let them wilt when all Omegas needed to survive is for their Alphas not to go out of their ways and inflict harms. 

  
  


They kept the easy chatting going, and that loosened Crowley’s nerves a bit. He barely flinched when Pepper came back with the infant in her arms and joined the talking. 

“Newt, can you hold onto the baby for a while?” Pepper motioned at the peacefully snoring infant in her arms. “I think the pack bonding has stopped.” Newt nodded and took the tiny boy into his arm, keeping it in front of his lower chest, well away from his scent gland.

Crowley stood a step nearer to the Omega, surprisingly realised that he smelled like pumpkin pie, warm spices and sweetness. He leaned in closer to look at the infant he once held. “Is it weird that I don’t know what a pack bonding is and why you are stopping it?” 

“You probably know what pack bonding is,” Aziraphale walked closer to the two Omegas. “It’s nothing like mating or bonding between partners, despite what it’s called. It’s the dependency one develops to the scent of people around them.”

“As simple as that,” Crowley gasped in disbelief.

“Yes. It’s perfectly natural. Omegas feel comfortable being close to someone they are familiar with and trust and we also feel anxious when we are alone and unscented.” Newt paused to rock the baby gently after he stirred slightly.

“When it comes to young Omegas from an abusive family, we stop the bonding process with their Alphas, who are highly likely to be the abuser, to prevent anxiety and depression. In this case, Pepper neutralised the father’s scent with hers and the Tracy will take over when she’s better.” 

Crowley nodded at that but was interrupted by the door opening before he could respond.

“Anathema wants the baby,” a boyish face poked out of the half-opened door, dark brown hair damp and sticking to his forehead. 

“Nice work, Brian,” Newt hurried over to hand the baby to him, the boy whispered something in his ear in return before heading back into the room. Newt fussed a bit with his thick olive coloured jacket and stood primly to announce to the room.

“Tracy will be alright and Anathema will bring her back to the shelter for her recovery once she is able to stand up without help,” Newt swallowed nervously but his eyes were determined. Trembling, he bowed and continued saying in a shakier voice. “Thank every one of you for the hard work today. We will take care of her from here. And thank every one of you for caring for people like us.” 

People cheered at that, giving each other a pat on their back and laughed together. Having companions is a new feeling to Crowley and a good one for that. Leaning on his Alpha’s round and sturdy body, he watched his sibling stand up with a confidence like no other has in the same room. 

They had always been an impressive person. Crowley had known that for a long time. They chose a difficult path to walk on and did it well. Born a female Alpha, Beaz’s childhood was not easy. Female Alphas were often thought of as the weaker kind of Alphas. They were unwelcome by male Alphas at best, and more often than not mocked and excluded from all Alpha activities. Their forceful scent also prevented them from being part of the Omega children. 

Crowley and Beaz had only each other in their childhood. It hurt when he ran. But it became difficult when the fight started. Beaz announced someday that they would now be referred to as a non-binary person, which annoyed the hell out of their parents. Yet, given that they were, whether their parents liked it or not, an Alpha, the Beta parents did not feel right to push back too much. 

It was Crowley they pushed. All the disappointment and anger their parents felt upon Beaz’s life decisions, they let it out on Crowley and that wasn’t fair. As an elder sibling, Crowley wanted to endure it for the sake of Beaz, and for the sake of keeping the family whole, but he knew he couldn’t do it anymore when his marriage was on the line. 

He ran and left a note for Beaz, letting them know that he would come back for them instead of leaving them in the suffocating household all on their own. He didn’t. He got stuck with Gabriel, and he never got back. 

He never got back for them, but they grew up into such a wonderful person. He couldn’t be prouder.

“Newt, you guys do the most important work. She still has a long way to go,” Beaz and Hastur walked towards the still bowed Omega and supported him up. “You don’t have to thank us for being decent.”

The three of them loosely hugged each other briefly while the rest of the room erupted into chants and cheers. 

“Hush!” The door of the treatment room abruptly opened and Anathema shouted at the crowd. She was dressed in a dark lacy dress with a mostly white apron laying over it. Her black hair was collected into a neat bun behind her head. “Oh, Newt you’re alright?” The now sobbing Omega rushed over to wrap her into a tight embrace while still sobbing words between snorts and tears. 

Anathema rubbed his back with an understanding smile and looked around the room with searching eyes. Finally, her gaze setting on Crowley, and she gestured at him. 

“Come, Tracy wanted to see you,” she smiled encouragingly at him while guiding Newt away from herself. 

Crowley followed Anathema into the room, seeing the woman resting peacefully on the makeshift bed. Her hair was a burning ginger now that it’s cleaned and combed out and not speckled with blots of dried blood. He walked over and took her hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the bony back of her hands.

“Hey,” Crowley cooed while she stirred. “It’s alright, you’re safe now.” The frown of her brows softened at that and Crowley gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

“Anathema said you are a very strong person and will be up in no time.” Crowley had no idea if the woman was awake, but he kept on speaking. “We will bring you and your boy to a shelter to settle down when you’re ready to go. He’s a very good boy and he’s waiting for you.”

“Amanda is with her now,” Anathema said as she joined Newt, Crowley and Aziraphale. She unwrapped the apron she had on her and threw it in Newt’s lap. “So, what’s it like to go on a rescue mission for the first time?” 

“Me?” Crowley pointed a finger at himself suspiciously. “Beaz took me with them to get Tracy,” he shrugged and responded to Anathema after a few moments of thinking. “It’s new, I suppose. I don’t usually do things like this.”

“Crowley, you could have gotten hurt!” While Anathema seemed to have approved the answer, Aziraphale was clearly not having it. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Calm down, Aziraphale,” Anathema sighed. “He’s back in one piece.”

“And?” He snapped, the scent of spice growing stronger. “I could have lose you, Crowley. Have you thought for me when you went…” The intensified scent clearly bothering other Omegas in the room, Anathema knew she had to put a stop to it. She slammed the handrest on her side and growled. 

“Enough of this! Have you ever thought of other suffering people? Or do you only care about yourself? Hm?” She looked down at him, colour of embarrassment rising on the round face.

“It’s alright, I’ll talk to him.” Crowley quickly stepped in, guiding Aziraphale up and out of the room, leaving others in the couch. He urged the Alpha into the leather seat of his car and crouched down in front of him. 

“Aziraphale, it’s alright,” he rubbed the round knees with his thumbs, offering comfort. “I felt good after I went to the rescue. It felt like I had a purpose, you know?”

“Come on, Alpha. I need you to breath for me,” Crowley looked up into the stormy blue eyes of Aziraphale and pleaded. His Alpha was angry and it was frustrating. He expected more of Aziraphale. He didn’t think Aziraphale would react so dramatically to the matter. He still didn’t, he reminded himself to trust his judgement of the Alpha and look deeper. Instead of anger and possessiveness, fear was radiating out of the tense posture. 

“I know you will be happy for me if I am happy with what I do, won’t you?” He asked softly, hoping desperately that Aziraphale was indeed the kind of kind and caring person he believed he was. Aziraphale sighed in defeat and leaned down to nuzzle Crowley. 

“Of course I will,” he pressed himself tighter to the Omega, rounding his thick arms around Crowley’s thin chest. “I was terrified. I thought you were gone at first, and I was worried that you’d be hurt when everyone started talking about how  _ exciting _ it must have been. Punches and wrestling. I was so scared for you, Crowley.” His voice trembled, shaking Crowley’s heart into pieces. 

“And then they said you went on a rescue mission,” the hold on Crowley’s shoulder tightened further, pulling him higher into Aziraphale’s laps. It was not the most physically comfortable position, but it was close to the warmth of the loving Alpha and Crowley was content. 

“I know how important the work is. I really do. I saw Tracy. I saw the baby. I saw Chloe the other day. And I’ve seen how hurt you’ve been. I know how critical rescues are…” He started sobbing and hauled Crowley tighter into his lap to cradle his lean frame in his arm. Their scent of spice and flower mingled, slowly calming both of them down. 

“I am so sorry for losing myself like that. I just wanted you safe, darling. All I wanted is you staying safe. I care so little about anything, anyone else compared to you. And I feel ashamed of being so selfish,” his cries were muffled in Crowley’s shoulder-length wavy hair but he heard it all the same. 

“I understand,” he tried to soothe his Alpha and making his point. “But I also want you to understand that I need this. There is something I can do for others. Can you understand how it feels? Feeling worthless all your life and suddenly realising that it is your time to give and help?” He guided Aziraphale’s teary eyes back up, trying to convey as much love and care with his own gaze. 

“When you are safe, it’s normal to feel alright to stay quiet. But I know what it’s like to be unsafe. And I know you understand that as well. That is why I have to do it. This is where I find my purpose, angel,” Crowley folded his arms neatly in front of himself in a nearly impossible position and cradled Aziraphale’s face. 

“I  also  don’t want to lose you. I love you so much,” at that, Crowley pressed a soft kiss on Aziraphale’s lips, punctuating his point. “so much, angel. I know you will understand me. I can see that in your eyes.”

“I do, Crowley. And I love you so much as well,” Aziraphale breathed out. They were so close. Every word was a soft puff of heated air on each other’s skin, but they didn’t mind. He knew he’s not going to stop Crowley from doing meaningful acts, and he shouldn’t. But he’s afraid. It was selfish. His love should be safe and far away from the cruelty of the world. He should be standing between the ugliness of the world and Crowley. He should keep the beautiful creature from any harm. 

“I love you too much to stop your from doing what you want, but I also love you too much to see you hurt. Please promise me you will be careful and always keep an eye out for yourself.” He couldn’t be there all the time for Crowley and he shouldn’t. Crowley was a grown man and a perfectly competent one. 

They held each other tight. There was too much hurt in the world and they did not have to do that to each other. Instead, they should always grasp the moment that was given to them and support each other whenever they can. They felt content in the closeness and warmth in each other’s arms and basked in that. 

“Hey, Crowley. You guys alright?” Newt nervously stepped closer to them, followed by a confidently striding Anathema. They kept a polite distance from the half-opened car door. “Anathema and I wanted to invite you to go back to the shelter with us. We thought you might want to know the work we are doing there.”

“Yeah, we understand Aziraphale’s worries. The shelter is a much safer place to work in than here, and you help people as well. I thought this might be a better way to start your time in the organisation,” Anathema continued. “Aziraphale should come with us. It’s a good way to understand the job and you might be less tense about it.”

Aziraphale wanted to explain that he was not trying to stop Crowley from doing meaningful jobs, but Crowley beat him to it. 

“He’s alright. He’s just freaking out a while ago.” Crowley smiled as he inappropriately ground down to Aziraphale’s crouch and stood up from his laps. He was beyond relieved to be accepted by his Alpha and he felt so much better about himself knowing that he’d have a purpose to devote his time and energy to in the future. And he might be secretly preening from Aziraphale’s reactions to having Crowley in his laps. “And I should totally join you on your way back.”

“He can’t though, unfortunately. Someone had to drive the car there,” he winked mischievously at Aziraphale who was stunned speechless with how at ease Crowley was.

Amanda and Beaz walked up to Aziraphale as Crowley went back inside to help carry Tracy out. The Omega was fully conscious and holding her boy tight to her chest now. One by one they hopped on the van Anathema parked by the entrance and they drove off. 

“You’re not going?” Amanda sat herself down next to Aziraphale. “I thought you are all going to the shelter.” 

“Did you change your mind and decided to stay with us?” Beaz interrupted.

“I gave you all the information I had,” Aziraphale answered with a testy sharp edge in his tone. “I’m still struggling with the aggressive approach that your team takes. Especially after you put Crowley in harm’ way.” 

“First of all, I will not, I will never, put my brother in harm’s way. And, I used to think like that actually,” playfulness vanished from Beaz’s voice. They now leaned on the next by car with both of their hands in their pockets, shoulder squaring up. 

“I didn’t think things are so bad that people have to take actions against it. I used to believe that if I just follow the rules, do the right things, and not ask questions, everything will work out as it should.

“But then I realised, things work out eventually because I am an Alpha. The privileges I enjoy allow me to stay indifferent. I can afford to stay quiet. But, some cannot. For example, my brother. For example, Amanda here.

“Aggressive confrontations are not all we do here. It’s part of what we have to do because if we act too slowly, an Omega can be severely hurt or die and no authority will step in to protect them. You see what it’s like first hand.” Beaz shrugged. 

It was true and Aziraphale knew it. Omegas were much less protected than he thought. He knew society was skewed in favour of the Alphas and he knew he was privileged for no reason other than being an Alpha. But it was hard to get on board with the use of robbing Omegas out of their own home. Aggressiveness was the wrong approach. Or so he was taught to believe. Was this another lie to keep people in check? To prevent people from rising up? Was he taught to accept life as it was to be complicit with the oppressive system? 

“In the society that we live in, having a choice is itself a privilege. We cannot give up the privileges that we are born with, but we can make others’ lives easier by doing more. Taking abused Omega out of their household is going to get us in trouble, but not if the leader Alpha of the household is beaten up by a smaller Alpha at the same time, you know. They would never take any actions if it means their failure will be exposed under the sunlight.” Beaz smugly smirked at their remarks and very possibly Aziraphale’s stunned face. 

“Are you joining Ana and Newt back at the shelter?” Amanda nudged him on the arm to get him out of the dazed state he was in. “An extra set of hands is always welcome.”

“The offer is still on. Work together to stop the Alphas,” continued and earned themselves a swat on the hip by Amanda. Raising their hands in the air, Beaz chuckled. “Fine, I’ll leave it at that.”

Aziraphale agreed to think about it and it seemed good enough for the two. He soon drove off to the shelter. He was already too involved in this to have nothing to do with the movement and his actions in the office must have put him on the watchlist of the Alphas. There were not many choices lying around. 

As he drove past the city, he felt himself see the people in a different way than before. He saw how well-built Alphas strode into the roads from their offices, and how Omegas were fitting into their arms as if part of their accessories. Some of them walked into a pub, groping the Omegas walking past them as they entered the door. He saw small groups of Omegas walking together closely and looking around nervously as they walked. He saw parents taking children out for dinner but carrying one on their shoulder while letting another walk on foot. 

He knew what it was all about, hierarchy. What he did not understand was how people could endure the unfair treatments and how the privileged hardened their heart over time and became able to deliver them and became part of the problems. 

The more he looked at, the more disgusted he was with the world. The more disgusted he was with himself. The more hopeless he was for the future he and Crowley could have. He could never make Crowley happy. The Omega’s guilt made sense to Aziraphale now. After learning about the hurtful truth of the world, there was no way he could live on without feeling guilty about having a life. The sorrowful destiny was too powerful for him to fight against. The Omega, the beautiful and tender Omega, deserved all the happiness in the world and was now standing at the pathway with terrified eyes. 

Pepper, Brian and Wensleydale engaged in playful banters as Anathema drove everyone back to the shelter. Tracy laid on a stretched out seat with her baby by her side, held by Crowley. The little boy was magical. Despite all the dreadful events that had happened around him, he quickly fell into a peaceful sleep in Crowley’s arm and Tracy watched them through her half-lidded eyes.

Everything seemed so peaceful. 

Anathema pulled over by an old book shop. Very old. Ancient even. The wood frames of the windows and doors were in good shape but clearly outdated. Crowley looked through the windows and saw shelves of bounded books. He couldn’t make out any of the books. Most of their leather covers were worn off. There was no way this is a modern bookshop. Perhaps this was an antique store of some sort, Crowley mused, planning to take a look at it after the job was done and possibly get something nice for Aziraphale. 

None of them saw the approaching Alpha as they got off the van. Brian and Wensleydale supported Tracy up to her feet and Newt jogged to knock on the door of the bookshop. Anathema waved at them and drove off to park the van. The Alpha quickly ran towards them, snarling and growling as he sprinted. The aggressive posture reminded Crowley of the intense fight a few hours ago, and the only thing he had time to do was to push the infant into Pepper’s arm and pushed her towards the entrance of the bookshop.

“Hey!” Pepper growled in displeasure, which would normally freak Crowley out in any other circumstance, but now, the stakes were too high for him to apologise for the rough motions. He growled a warning and turned to stare at the well-built Alpha with wide eyes. Pepper’s steps faded in the background as he stepped a few steps forwards, determined to block the Alpha best he could.  _ It was in the middle of the street. He wouldn’t dare. I’ll be fine. _ He repeated to himself in his mind and took countless deep breaths as he waited for the impact, which never came. 

He opened his eyes just in time to see that out of nowhere, Aziraphale lunged onto the Alpha and tackled him down. Crowley screamed in fear at the sight when the element of surprise on Aziraphale’s side was quickly running out. He heard shouting in the background and flinched when another Alpha rushed over. 

“He’s one of us?” The Alpha was scruffy looking and had a thick accent. His attire reminded Crowley of people of the last century, but his hair dark and his gaze stern and fierce. It was difficult to tell his age with all the mixed signs. Crowley looked absently at his face without registering the words’ meaning. 

“Pull Aziraphale off him! Sergeant!” Anathema shouted from across the street at the man beside Crowley. “Quick!” 

Anathema was significantly faster than the man. She growled as she joined the fight and magically eased the Alphas away from each other’s hold. She replaced Aziraphale’s hold on the Alpha’s shoulder with her hand, thumb pressuring the base of his neck, and pressed one of her calves on the base of the Alpha’s thigh, knee pressing at his groin. 

“Leave her alone,” she growled at his reddening face.

It was not a good look and people were began to point finger at the muscular man pinned under a lean female Alpha in a lacy dress, barely ruffled, if at all. The overpowered Alpha spat at the ground next to him, on the opposite side of Anathema was kneeling, and soon scurried off when Anathema loosened her hold on him. 

“Why are you guys still here?” She rolled her eyes at the three man standing beside in shock and patted the dust and dirt out of the fabric of her dress. “Go in and patch up.”

When they walked through the door, the group was welcomed with a young man with a head of wild golden curls and an old lady dressing like a 17-century peasant woman. Anathema pulled her into a tight hug and pressed kisses on her cheeks as the young man guided them further into the bookshop. 

“Anathema, Brian and Wensleydale are waiting!” He shouted at the hugging women. “They want me to fetch you.”

“Fine, Adam,” the young woman rolled her eyes at that but complied. “Lead the way.”

“Angel,” the older woman spoke, facing the blonde Alpha and pointing at a couch covered in towels. “Peel off the layers and thy bruises I treat.” 

Aziraphale and Crowley looked at each other in shock at the use of the nickname and Crowley abruptly turned away with a blush when he realised what  _ peel off the layers  _ meant. 

“The dark one,” she continued, facing towards Crowley. “Thy fingers of ice shall soothe the warrior.”

“And you,” the old lady carried on in a solemn voice. “The hunter of mysteries, walk further. Thy huntress awaits.”

“Agnes, com’on,” Anathema snorted at that.

“Witch,” the scruffy man spat lowly and walked towards the back room. 

  
  


Aziraphale was healed by Agnes and appointed to be the next owner of the bookshop after he decided to take part in the cause. 

Crowley chewed on the inside of his mouth as Aziraphale winced silently under Agnes' hand. She aggressively rubbed dark liquid on the now angry red spots of soon-to-be bruises. The liquid smelt of herbs and alcohol and left brownish stains on the soft pale skin of the Alpha. 

“Back,” she said coldly and Aziraphale showed his back to her. His thick layers protected him from scratches, but not from violent impacts. He squirmed some more as Agnes continued her work on his broad back.

“Once a day after shower,” Agnes shoved the bottle into Crowley's hand and walked away, leaving the pair alone in the ocean of books. 

“I’m sorry,” Crowley said between sobs. His shoulder jolted violently as he drew in sharp breaths. “I should have listened to you. This is too dangerous.”

Aziraphale guided him down into his laps, but Crowley squirmed to escape the grip and lowered himself onto the ground beside the couch, laying his head meekly on the softness of Aziraphale’s thigh. 

“It’s alright, my dear.” The Alpha let him and cooed. 

“It’s not, angel. Look at you. I should have never put you in danger,” Crowley shook his head desperately. “I will stay away from this, angel. I will be content with my life.” 

“No–no–no. Please don’t say that, my dear. Come,” he tugged at Crowley’s upper arm to tuck the Omega into the empty space in front of his chest. 

Crowley tried to protest, but Aziraphale chuckled instead. “I promise, it doesn’t hurt that bad. I want you close, come on. I miss your scent.”

Crowley didn’t have the heart to refuse anymore. He also wanted to have his Alpha close after the terrifying incident.

“I understand it now, Crowley–my dearest darling. We cannot choose our battles,” he peppered kisses on Crowley’s temple. “We simply cannot. We answer the calls, fulfil our purposes, and protect our love.”

“Angel, you don’t have to do this,” Crowley shifted careful, avoiding pressing onto Aziraphale’s bruises, to bury himself in the warm scent, now veiled with the rub. 

“I have to. I cannot run away from this anymore. I knew the oppressive system was at fault, but I stood by without saying a word. I caused pain on people like you. However much I might do in the future, it cannot fix the harm I had caused, but it’s the least I can do.”

Crowley didn’t answer. He understood perfectly the guilt Aziraphale was experiencing now, and all he could do was to hope that someday, hopefully before he and Aziraphale’s lives ended, the world would become a better place.


	12. Simmering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bastards from Hell was planning something and our favourite couple spent a lovely afternoon together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovely people :)
> 
> This chapter is a bit messy, but I couldn't really work out how to organise it better without upping the chapter count or going through the ceilings with the word count, so here it is. 
> 
> And, there is a bit of smut in this chapter, because...well...because I wanted to write some smutty words ;)
> 
> As always, enjoy :)

Inside a dark room blocked from the outside world with a fringe curtain made out of shiny black beads, three Alphas and several Omegas sat on a plush couch. One of the Alphas, the smallest among them, sat alone on one end of the couch while the other sat closer to each other with Omegas in their arms and laps. 

“Want a taste?” The bald Alpha said as he rubbed the round bottom of the Omega leaning by his side. The Omega stared distantly at the obscured ground as she accepted the intrusive hands on her. He lifted the sheer fabric barely covering the round arse cheeks for the smaller Alpha in the next seat to see. 

“No need for that,” Beaz sneered at such a vulgar action, emptying the rest of the alcohol from their glass. They sat with their short limbs sprawled, holding up a pretentiously nonchalant posture. 

“They won’t judge,” another dark-haired Alpha chuckled darkly and pulled the Omega by his side into his laps. “That’s why Sandalphon kept coming back.”

“Gabriel, you are such an arse,” After he spat at the smirking Alpha playfully, Sandalphon turned and clutched the jaw of Omega with an almost bone-crushing force. “Am I not good enough for a pitiful creature like you? Hm? Pet?”

The Omega shook her head frantically with wide eyes. Her efforts of seeking to escape from the hold in vain and she was dangled liked a ragged doll in the Sandalphon’s hold.

“That’s what I thought. Who are you to judge me anyway,” Sandalphon laughed, hoarse voice flooding the room. “But I think you will appreciate me more if you spend some time with the small thing over there.” With that, he tossed the trembling body to Beaz’s direction who caught it gracefully with some skilful ministration of their arm.

Frightened by the sudden movement, the tearful young woman was now seated in their laps. Beaz handed her a piece of napkin and wiped away the tear stains on the coloured cheek with their cool and lean fingers. Too nervous to react, the Omega remained motionless as they rearranged their limbs. Beaz then pinched the full thigh and pulled the wordless Omega out of an empty stare at the napkin, eliciting an obscene sigh from the woman. Beaz smirked at that, throwing a challenging gaze at the other two Alphas. 

“Did I pass the test,” they murmured against the soft skin of the body in their hold, teasing. The other two Alphas stiffened for a second, but soon regained their postures. 

“Impressive,” Gabriel clapped his hands slowly. Sandalphon soon followed suit. “You want in?”

“Your answer?” Beaz threw the question back at them. 

Neither responded with words, but Gabriel leaned over to shake their hands. 

As the glasses emptied and filled, the Alphas moved on to discuss an attack. More accurately, to plan out an attack. The rumour that Omegas being rescued to a suspicious bookshop had infuriated the Alphas, and how the usually triumphing Alphas seemed to have their hands tied by some unnaturally mixed groups of Alphas and Omegas turned them from humiliated to angry. The only way to fix that was to face them and wipe them out from the surface of the earth. At least that’s how the Alphas believed. 

The only way to fix things was the might of Alphas. 

“Think about what you’ll find in there,” Sandalphon rubbed his hands together excitedly as he spoke. “Omegas! Unclaimed Omegas!”

“We are Alphas, Sandalphon. We are there to fulfil the great plan that was laid out for us since the very beginning. Not for some petty looting!” Gabriel rolled his eyes and scolded the obviously more than excited Alpha. 

“There are no small wars, Gabe,” Sandalphon growled, with a mockingly condescending tease in his voice. “You cannot have a WAR without war.”

Beaz used all their will power to refrain themself from reacting to the ridiculous comment. They would laugh with Gabriel when he would mock his friend’s silly opinion, they promised themself. Unfortunately, the moment did not come. The self-righteous Alpha was impressed by the comment. 

“That’s a good one, actually,” the sentence seemed to lighten Gabriel’s mood somehow and he repeated the words several times. “That’s very motivating. I am impressed.” 

“That’s not the point,” the metal tooth peeked through from Sandalphon’s cocky grin. “Think about all the Omegas that will be at our mercy. Ah–What fun we will have together.”

“Well, I planned to have a lot of fun with this enticing creature here,” Beaz interrupted the crude fantasy of the other Alphas. The Omega pulled out her hand from inside Beaz’s jacket and fixed their lapel. 

“We are going to have a lot of fun, aren’t we, love?” Beaz sloppily kissed the Omega’s jaw, drawing loud moans from the Omega. They seemed pleased at the response and stood up for the door, the Omega followed on wobbly legs in their arm.

The two other Alphas waved them off as the pair walked out from the booth. 

Several weeks after Agnes treated Aziraphale’s bruises from the confrontation with Tracy’s ex-Alpha, Aziraphale was now in charge of the bookshop under Agnes’ order and Shadwell was practically in retirement. Crowley has been working in the shelter with Anathema, Newt and the Them. 

“Angel!” Crowley yelled at the back room of the bookshop as he walked through the door. Baby in his arms cried to protest against the use of high volume. 

“Shhh… Quiet,” Crowley hissed in a subdued warning tone. “Aziraphale would never agree to take care of you if you are crying like this.”

“Darling?” The blonde walked down from the upstairs flat and beamed at the sight of his partner. “How’s Warlock?”

“Oh, he’s doing great, angel.” Crowley rushed the words before the question ever finished. “Brilliant!”

The way too speedy response made Aziraphale cock a suspicious brow, not entirely convinced. His lips curved playfully, however. 

“Angel, would you take care of Warlock for the afternoon,” Crowley batted his thick lashes and showed off his honey colour eyes. “Please? Tracy was out with the Sergeant and I need to run some errands with the Them. Be back by six.”

“I would take care of Warlock even the reason is you wanting a quiet afternoon or you joining Anathema on a rescue mission,” Aziraphale chuckled at the over-the-top demonstration of cuteness. “I don’t mind having Warlock around. He wouldn’t want to purchase one of the precious books, would you Warlock?” He pulled faces at the baby, making him giggle. 

“You don’t mind me joining the rescue?” Crowley’s eyes widened in disbelief and excitement. “I told them I’ll stay at the shelter as back up.”

“I heard the noises from upstairs. It must be an urgent one. I will be worried about you no matter what, but I’m not keeping you from doing important tasks. Leave little Warlock with me and we can have dinner when you get home,” he pressed kisses on the crown of Crowley’s hair and tucked him in the hollow of his neck to scent him. “Go on.”

“That’s alright,” Crowley nuzzled into the hug. “I’ll join next time, perhaps. I’m just picking up some supplies with the Them today.”

“Do you need me to take care of the shelter while you’re out?”

“You don’t have to. The people there should be fine for an hour or two,” Crowley smiled at the offer. “But I do need to borrow the key for the van.”

“Of course,” Aziraphale ruffled through leaves of paper on the desk and retrieved the set of keys with a triumphant grin. “Here. Drive safe, my dear.” 

Spending an afternoon with Warlock did help annoying customers away from the bookshop, but it did little to ease the anxiety. When they first visited the bookshop, it was barely a facade to mask the real entrance of the shelter. The sign always said  _ CLOSED _ and it turned out that people weren’t fans of the wagging fingers of scruffy old men. However, the situation had changed since Aziraphale took over the storefront. 

On the day he was healed by Agnes, the lady left everyone with a vague message before she went on “a vacation around the world.” She said she wanted Aziraphale to take over the shop and some words along the line of choosing faces and being wise, which no one understood the meaning of. When the message reached the base, Beaz or whoever in charge decided that the words meant the base should move to the bookshop and Aziraphale should be the one running the new base. 

“We had to go onto the ground if we want to fight those bastards with their arses in the air,” Ligur shrugged as he spoke. “Sergeant Shadwell wagging his fingers around isn’t going to do us much good. Omegas are too afraid to walk into the bookshop to ask for help.” 

“Wha’d ya kiddos know,” the man huffed and growled, apparently offended by the comment. 

“Our image has been too aggressive. I’ve been speaking to other Omegas and a lot of them felt nervous when they first heard of us,” Amanda spoke softly. “We don’t have to be bullies to fight bullies.”

“What do you propose?” Beaz asked from their broad on the other side of the room. “I think our image does need some work.”

“We should stop hiding from the public. What we do is honourable, and there is nothing to be ashamed of,” she spoke each word clearly, and the crowd cheered. “We can coordinate our operations from the bookshop, which is now given to Aziraphale by Agnes.”

The crowd gasped at the shocking revelation, while Beaz’s face was the same as ever. Little members could believe that their cover-up for the shelter was given to a newcomer. Many were questioning the credibility of the information and some accused Agnes of going nuts. 

“I agreed,” Beaz raised a hand to quiet the muttering and looked over to Hastur who was exchanging looks with Ligur. “What do you think, H-a-s-t-u-r?”

“Good place to start,” the pale Alpha visibly shivered at the mention of his name. “Do we get to lurk around in the new place? ”

“No, you and Ligur will be responsible for the operation here. You shady bastard,” Beaz snorted and Ligur pinched Hastur hard, making him curse. Beaz raised a brow at that and continued. “I will speak to Aziraphale and set up a schedule to move our operation there.”

That is why Aziraphale was now pulling at his hair on a lovely afternoon in the bookshop. Amanda brought a list of agents that would be working from the bookshop after the arrangements are made and Beaz had asked him to open up the bookshop as a ruse to prevent raising awareness when the agents came into the bookshop for meetings. More friendly-looking agents had visited the bookshop in the past few days and it had made Aziraphale very anxious.

Sure, the tea time with Amanda was greatly enjoyable, but the moment Dagon and Ligur stepped in, he felt sweat welling up on his back. And as it turned out, the instincts were right. They brought him a much bigger trouble than he had anticipated. They decided to hold a parade on the national day, bringing the issue of oppression to the eyes of all citizens. He tried to turn to Amanda for help, but she had left at some point of the heavy conversation to help Crowley out in the shelter. 

“We need you to organise the event,” Ligur pulled out a stack of crinkled paper from his coat and slapped them on the surface in front of the sitting Alpha, perhaps out of habits more than to scare the crap out of Aziraphale. “Beaz said we can trust you. And I would prefer that to be the case.” 

“Dude, no need to scare our new member like this,” Dagon snickered at the panicking expression on Aziraphale’s round face. “We need to have multiple meet-up points to join and leave the parade. Omegas need to be able to flee to safety if they want to, or need to.”

Aziraphale nodded in understanding. The first reason he was concerned about this idea was the dangers Omegas might be in. Costumes and masks might be a good idea, he mused. All the better if the participants can merge into the crowd in no time. 

“We also need to rearrange the parade if any conflict occurs,” Dagon continued with a sterner expression. “Alphas will be at the frontline to fight off attackers and Betas will be leading the Omegas to safety.”

Aziraphale visibly swallowed, tensed about the possibility of getting into a fight in public. 

“Well,” Ligur nudged Dagon, chuckling. “Who’s scaring the shit out of him now? You can stay with the groups of Omegas if you like, we don’t mind. We have plenty of fighters already.”

“We do,” Dagon stared at the dark-skinned man with an annoyed frown, “however, need as much help as we can possibly get. So it’d be great if you can stay with the Alphas.”

“Yes, of course,” Aziraphale stuttered but quickly replied. “No need to worry.”

“Great, let us know when you finish the planning and we can discuss further,” Dagon pulled her lips into a weird curve, which seemed to be a crooked smile and left with Ligur.

  
  


When Aziraphale turned to settle himself back into his armchair, he saw Adam’s dark blonde curls peeking out from one of the bookshelves. As soon as the front door clicked close, the young Alpha skipped towards Aziraphale with Crowley and Amanda behind him. All three of them seemed excited and hopeful. Way too upbeat for Aziraphale’s current state.

“Aziraphale!” The teenager greeted him with a wicked smirk. “We have something to tell you.” 

“Yes?” He had no idea what the something was and sneaking looks at Crowley did not help at all. The Omega looked worked up but it was unclear what the reason was. 

“We should change the world,” the youngster announced proudly. “With our own hands.”

Apparently Aziraphale seemed very lost at the sudden words because Amanda decided to step in and explain. “Well, you see, we believe that parade that Dagon and Ligur came to discuss is not effective. The authorities had been turning a blind eye on the whole issue and they will continue to do so if we play along with their rules. Right? So, Adam came up with another plan.”

“We have to make our own games,” the kid started again. His wild curls a tad crazier than usual, and Aziraphale would swear that his eyes were almost glinting red. 

“I don’t want to live in a world full of oppression,” he shrugged. “And I don’t think anyone should. We should all be the same, don’t you think? There should be no Alpha and Omegas.”

“You mean we should all be Betas?” Aziraphale asked softly, trying to catch up.

“No, we should all be people. And we already are. People just need a bit of a push to forget the divides between us,” Adam growled frustratedly as if Aziraphale had let him down greatly with the question.

“I think it makes perfect sense, angel,” Crowley stepped closer to the Alpha tentatively. “We are all people, and who we are should not be decided by the genders. You see that, right?”

_ It did make sense, the vision, that is, but can they change who they are? Can they change how people are made? _ Aziraphale was uncertain. Sure, the vision is good, but there is no way a small group of people like them will be able to make such a fundamental change.

“And we have a way,” Adam's eyes were piercing blue. “Anathema made a potion that can neutralise the gender. We just need a big occasion to work it into the crowd.”

“The parade,” Aziraphale breathed. Things started making sense now, that’s why the three were coming up to him now.  _ Was he entitled to make a decision this big? Was he entitled to decide what others’ lives become? Surely it must change people’s lives, right? Being forced to lose their secondary gender? _

“Wait, Adam,” Amanda sighed, throwing an apologetic smile at Aziraphale. “Sorry, the kid gets excited too easily. “The thing is, we haven’t perfected the potion. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.” She paused, Aziraphale stared, Crowley clung tighter to the Alpha and Adam bounced excitedly. “Would you two join as subjects of an experiment?”

_ That was absurd. Did they expect him to put Crowley and his life on the line to test out some potion which they had no idea if it worked? _ Just as he opened his mouth to reject the notion, Crowley tugged on his sleeves, eyes wide with expectation. He swallowed.

“Do Beaz and Hastur know about this?” 

“Of course not, they would never agree to this,” Adam snickered. “They are old and they play by the rules. They use the system to do some good but that’s not going to change the world as we will.” 

“We have to think about it,” Aziraphale sighed. He could tell how much on board Crowley was on the issue. But they need to think it through. “What else is there to know?” 

  
  


Things continued as they were for the next few days. Aziraphale worked on re-organising the bookshop (not that there was much to reorganise. There were only so many ways one could fill the shop to the ceilings) and making space for the incoming personnel. Amanda helped out wherever she could. When the work is done, they make a trip to Anathema’s workstation and check on the process of potion making. 

Crowley and the Them worked together to take care of the Omega in the shelter and send some of the recovered inmates to Beda’s shelter, where they get a chance to work on rehabilitation, job training and so on. 

It was a tough decision to make. Aziraphale did not think that he’s supposed to make the call for all people, but he also thought it was a change that must happen someday. If it’s happening now, who was he to stop it?

Crowley’s commitment was part of his concern as well. He knew how devoted the Omega was to the cause and how much he wanted to stop the suffering. He promised to support and trust his partner as an equal, and this was one of the occasions that he should do so. 

Before meeting the Omega, he would have preferred to listen to the authority, to look for the right person who happened to be in power and possess a smidge of empathy. But now, he couldn’t lie to himself that there was such a person anymore. Apparently, there wasn’t one. Whoever worked their way up there, accepted the rules their predecessors set up and became one of them. 

There is no telling that this is going to work, but there will be no better future had they done nothing. 

After a lazy afternoon nap together in the flat above the bookshop, Crowley stretched his lengthy limbs with his head not leaving the soft chest of Aziraphale. The blonde giggled affectionately at the tickling feeling of Crowley’s hair rubbing at his side. 

The scrawny Omega flopped himself playfully on top of the round belly, earning himself another round of cuddles. They still had time to themselves before things popped up in the shelter. 

“Enjoyed the nap?” Aziraphale cooed, cradling Crowley’s skinny frame with strong arms. 

“Never felt better,” Crowley mumbled into the soft flesh under his mouth, coaxing more giggles out of his Alpha. He enjoyed the give of Aziraphale’s body. It never failed to make him feel welcome and safe. The warm skin smelt different from what he first remembered the Alpha’s scent. It was now softer and lighter, mingled with his own sweeter scent. 

Gently but surely, Aziraphale’s broad hand reached up to frame his buttock. There was nothing demanding in the gesture. Instead, the overly warm palm radiated heat straight into Crowley’s core, lighting up the liquid desire he was now familiar with. The Omega gave in and rocked his hips between the warmth of Aziraphale’s palm and groin. 

Aziraphale gladly accepted the invitation and reached over to their bedside cabinet for the lube. The redhead pulled his outreached hand back and rutted their groins together desperately. 

“Make me slick,” he huffed breathlessly, speeding up the movement of his hips to make the point. Crowley’s lean body was squirming with his movement in a serpentine fashion. Realising what he just demanded, the Omega blushed violently and paused in the middle of his movement. 

“Mmmm… I mean, mmm… I can prep myself,” he lunged to snatch the lube from Aziraphale’s hand, removing himself from on top of the Alpha. 

“I know you can,” Aziraphale smiled a sad smile. “But you don’t need to do that. Come on.”

He guided the worrying Omega back down on the bed and rubbed soothing circles on his sides, loosening the tense muscles, evidence of how nervous Crowley just wound himself up to. 

“It’s alright. Lay still, my love.”

Crowley’s golden eyes were glassy and lacked focus. He looked up at Aziraphale’s round face, bathing in the warm light that shone through his white-blonde curls. He let himself melt into tender kisses and love bites. The sensation of being cherished calmed him down and he began rocking his hips up against Aziraphale’s again.

He sighed into Aziraphale’s mouth when the Alpha dipped his finger into Crowley, barely stretching him but effectively spreading the slick around his hole. 

“You did so well, Crowley,” the Alpha praised, rubbing the lump inside him to draw out a moan. “Can you be still for me?”

Before Crowley could respond, or think of what to respond, the warmth of Aziraphale’s body disappeared and was replaced by sloppy kisses all over his torso. Aziraphale lapped at the underside of Crowley’s cock and tasted the bitter-salty precome on the head of it. He made obscene wet sounds and appreciative moans on purpose to wind the already hazy Omega further. 

Crowley pushed at his head weakly, but Aziraphale continued all the same. He relished the feel of the veins pulsing on his tongue and closed his eyes to anticipate the approaching come. Aziraphale knew Crowley was almost over the edge from the lack of words and his tensed up thighs. He concaved his mouth and sucked on Crowley’s cock as hard as he could until the Omega grunted and came into his throat. 

Aziraphale teasingly lapped at the now softened dick and straightened himself up with a satisfied grin. Crowley was breathlessly struggling to keep track of what was happening as Aziraphale rubbed at the inside of his knee with one hand and lined himself up with Crowley’s entrance with another. 

Aziraphale forced himself to take deep breaths as he pushed into Crowley, he didn’t work his Omega up into a writhing mess just to come right away himself. After one orgasm and some sufficient stretching, Crowley’s hole was warm and tight and slick. 

In his state of bliss, Crowley moaned wantonly with the thrusts of Aziraphale’s hips. Leaning forward, the swell of Aziraphale’s belly rutted against his groin and created just the amount of friction between perfect and too much. His lean legs resembled too much with jelly to do anything besides framing Aziraphale’s round arse. 

Movements of Aziraphale’s hips turned frantic and he abruptly pulled back. The empty feeling snapped Crowley out of his haziness and weighed him down with pure panic. He scrambled to wring every one of his limbs around Aziraphale to keep the Alpha in place. 

“Knot me, Alpha,” he pleaded so softly. “Please, Alpha.” 

“We’ll be missing downstairs for the better part of the afternoon if I knot you, darling.”

“Hmmm… Don’t care,” Crowley squirmed to pull himself back onto Aziraphale’s cock. “Knot me, Alpha.”

It was clear as day that the Omega was not in the mindset of thinking about his work downstairs and Aziraphale did not want to deny him anything, especially not when the lovely body was entangled around his own so alluringly. 

With some expert manoeuvring, Aziraphale once again helped Crowley settle on top of him. The bony frame pressing into his own flesh felt so right and he gave in and reclaimed the shallow thrusts of his hips. Crowley tried to help with messy ruts of his own hips but his legs were still too much like jelly. 

Not that Aziraphale had too much to work through before he felt his knot swell in the warm heat. The stretch and squeeze were now similar enough for them both to lay on the same spot on the bed and enjoy each other’s presence. 

Eventually, the pair went down from the upstairs flat and earned themselves a few knowing smirks like other staff members of the shelter. Crowley walked back into the room full of Omegas with a face as red as apply, while Aziraphale stayed in the bookshop to keep working on the re-organisation. 

Sometimes, he caught himself staring through the window to the shelter. He watched Crowley crouching down next to Omegas and speaking to them tenderly. Occasionally he laid one hand on top of the Omegas and squeezed gently. Occasionally, the Omegas cried and Crowley pulled out some napkins for them to wipe away their tears. Every motion was soft and thoughtful. And the redhead looked so content in what he’s doing. 

Although the bookshop was technically part of the shelter, Aziraphale seldom walked into the facility to find Crowley. From the few times he did, he felt funny when the Omegas stirred upon his arrival. The feeling in his gut was almost guilty. Guilty for breaking the silence they earned after so much struggling. Oftentimes, he found himself watching Crowley work from the windows in the backroom.

While he had grown to like their time in the shelter, he couldn’t help feeling useless. He felt unimportant and at a loss of how to do more. And if partaking in the experiment was a way to contribute to the great cause, he’s not going to turn it down. 

He smiled when Crowley turned to wink at him between his talk with an Omega. The Omega nodded shyly at the bookshop owner and whispered something in Crowley’s ear, who then chuckled with a blush in return. Aziraphale felt happy here, he really did, and the last thing he wanted was for anything to change. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to leave comments, they really make my days a lot brighter.


	13. Catching Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my dears! I'm back with another chapter! Things look like, at the moment, I'll be able to finish posting the final chapter. I am thinking about a sweet epilogue. If it happens, it'll be up as soon as possible. The main storyline ends next week. 
> 
> I am extremely grateful for the kindness and support you've been sharing :)

.The day where everything happened finally came after days of heavy planning on Aziraphale’s part and countless massages offered by his redhead to ease his nerves. Aziraphale was pacing in the back room while he and Crowley waited for the kettle to boil. 

“What if something goes wrong? What if people get hurt?” The blonde Alpha couldn’t stop worrying and the excited chattering outside of the small haven he’s currently in did not help, at all. The bubbling energy set him on edge.

“Then you’ve got at least five plans to take care of that,” Crowley cooed sweetly, rubbing himself on Aziraphale’s plump body. The Alpha was wearing too many layers as he usually did, and Crowley did not mind a bit. He liked the texture of the soft fabrics when they touched his skin, which he was currently showing more than what he was used to. He did not want to have a heat stroke from marching around the city in skin-tight trousers. Crowley did not like the scattered freckles nor the bumps of bones jutted out here and there, but from the way Aziraphale had been scenting his exposed skin, his Alpha seemed to be fond of the display.

The past week had been difficult for Aziraphale. He’s a fretter. There’s no doubt about that. Crowley had been doing his best to calm his Alpha but nothing seemed to be particularly effective. He blamed Beaz a bit for putting Aziraphale into such troubles, but he also knew no one could have done the job better than Aziraphale. He was proud of how reliable his Alpha was. Aziraphale was smart and he cared about the safety of the people who would be on the street with them. The same could not have been said to any Alpha.

Their organisation was planning to make an appearance in the public sphere with this demonstration and thus, the stakes were high. 

“Com’on, don’t work yourself up on this,” he smiled at the affectionate actions from his Alpha and gently guided them back into the crowd with a tray full of tea. “We’ll be alright.” 

“Fine,” Aziraphale huffed, unwillingly letting Crowley go from his arms. “Let’s just hope we’ll all survive.” 

Before the event began, Crowley and the Them led the Omegas deeper into the shelter and into a room, which Beaz had insisted on securing a few days ago. They then locked the doors and windows that connected the shelter and the bookshop, just in case of any wanted attention. Too many things could go wrong and they didn’t want to put Omegas in the Shelter in any danger.

Anathema and Newt collected supplies and distributing them to the three medical squads that were going to accompany the groups of participants. Hastur and Ligur were working on the walkie-talkies and giving them to the leaders of each group. Whoever was willing to participate in the parade waited for the event to start in the bookshop.

The bookshop was packed to the brim. People were wearing colourful clothes, carrying slogans and signs, and encouraging each other. Everyone seemed ready when they walked out into the bookshop. It was a moving sight to walk into, knowing that so many people cared for what’s right. 

“Beaz’s gonna meet us during the parade,” Hastur announced after he finished talking on his phone in a corner. “Let’s set off.” 

The mindless attitude earned him a swat on his arm from Ligur which he responded with a shrug but Hastur cleared his throat and turned to the people again. 

“Guys, remember,” he raised his voice and spoke confidently to the room full of people. “Don’t get lost from your group, and don’t provoke any passer-by. Yeah?”

All nodded and they knew they were ready to leave. Crowley kissed Aziraphale chastely and joined the group led by Ligur. As people marched out of the bookshop, Aziraphale began tidying up, which he barely finished in time to join the last group to the parade.

The paraders marched along the river which divided the city in half. The three groups set off from the bookshop, located near the southern bank, and marched separately towards the bridge that led to the northern bank, where the city of the Alphas laid. 

Not many people joined them on their way, which wasn’t a surprise to Aziraphale. Impulsively joining a public demonstration could be asking for trouble. However, it was encouraging to see some youngsters peering out from their windows and cheering for them. The soft faces and high-pitched voices suggested that they were likely Omegas. None of them lasted by the windows for long, though. Many were yanked back into their rooms by their parents after a few minutes. 

_ The system taught you to fear before even understanding what you should be afraid of _ , Aziraphale thought. The Alphas wanted to keep everyone afraid, and self-censored so that they could be in control even when they were not making efforts. The realisation made the Alpha sick to his gut and hoped that after Anathema succeeded in her potion-making, everything can be put to an end. In the past few days, he thought hard about how much horrible things his kind has done to the world and undergoing an experiment became more acceptable to him. His uncertain fate was a price he’s willing to pay.

Dagon and several other Alphas joined the group near the bridge, but there’s no sign of Beaz. Hastur raised a brow at that and Dagon leaned in to whisper something into his ear. They exchanged a look and nodded. 

Dagon walked towards Aziraphale at the end of the group as they started marching again. She took smaller steps than usual, luring Aziraphale to walk slower beside her. 

“There’s no one in the bookshop right?” 

Aziraphale nodded, confused.

“And the doors to the shelters all shut? Curtains drawn?” 

Aziraphale nodded again, brows knitted. Just as he opened his mouth to pose questions, Dagon grumbled something to a microphone pinned to her collar and hurried up to rejoin the group. 

As they walked towards the end of the bridge, Aziraphale glanced around nervously. They were supposed to meet up with the other two groups by the end of the bridge and march towards the city centre together before splitting up into groups again to evacuate. If he calculated correctly, they should be in sight now. 

In the meantime, a group of Alphas were marching towards the bookshop where Aziraphale had just locked up. Sandalphon pranced proudly at the front of the groups, Gabriel smirked smugly beside him, and Beaz lazily dragged their feet somewhere further back in the messy lines of Alphas. They scrunch their noses at the stench of riled up Alphas but followed nonetheless. 

They chanted deprecating slurs as Sandalphon violently yanked the lock on the shop door, making disturbing noises from the old wooden door and the rusty padlock. Beaz tried not to worry about how fussy Aziraphale would be when he got back from the parade and saw the state of his beloved bookshop. They’ve got bigger problems to worry about. For example, surviving these nut Alphas when they discovered what they’re going to do. As Sandalphon worked on the lock, his face got redder by the minutes. Frustratedly, he stepped back with the arms on his hips and Beaz took the job into their hands, retrieved a pin from their sleeves and picked the lock in no time. 

Alphas rushed into the bookshop excitedly as Beaz held the door open for them. They rummaged through the selves, somehow convinced that there were Omegas to be found and ravished between them. Given how many Omegas were in the room just before they entered, the scent provoked their primal instincts to hunt. However, with the lingering scent of various Omegas, the search was difficult. 

“It smells delicious in here,” Sandalphon took a deep breath in the centre of the bookshop, apparently pleased with the sweet scent surrounding him and the anticipation that he’d be meeting some of the owners of them. He licked his own lips with a thick tongue, making obscene wet noises. Some other Alphas grumbled their agreement and sniffed around to look for the Omegas who left the scent here. 

Their search was futile and of course it was since the Omegas had left for the parade. It soon became clear that there weren’t any Omegas in the bookshop and the discontent escalated quickly. The Alphas were extremely aroused with the heavy Omega scents around them and there was nothing worse than a room full of worked up Alphas. As the room boiled, from the corner of the room, Beaz walked towards Gabriel, who seemed to be unbothered by the situation he was in. 

“There’s no entrance,” they said to him in a low voice. 

“No entrance? What do you mean no entrance?” He growled at the smaller Alpha, who simply shrugged at that. “By no entrance, I mean no entrance,” Beaz stuck both of their hands into the pockets of their trousers and shrugged. “Probably misheard them.”

“Misheard?” Gabriel raised his voice, and brows and shoulders at that. “It’s not like these stupid asses talk in coded languages! How can you have misheard that?”

“What are you going to do with a shelter of Omegas anyways?” Beaz retorted. 

“We are getting back what was robbed from us,” the tall Alpha growled. 

“Rob?” Beaz snickered. “Come on, big guy. We are the Alphas. We are in control. Why are we taking petty revenge on the Omegas behind their backs.”

“What do you know about losses? What do you have to lose?” Gabriel snapped, angular face reddening as his temper built up. 

“To hell with them,” a nearby Alpha shouted and a handful of others agreed to it. As they all chanted together and stomped on the floor, Beaz could almost feel the building shakes. The situation heated up soon after. A thread of smoke rose from behind one of the bookshelves and a flash of flame soon followed. Alphas pushed each other around in the room, bumping into the shelves and books fell off from them. Sandalphon came up to Gabriel with a deep frown on his face.

It was clear that the situation was out of Sandalphon and Gabriel’s control by then and Beaz knew they had to sneak out as soon as possible. They came to get damning recordings of their conversation instead of getting into troubles. The damage in the bookshop was a price they had to pay for the recording. Using the advantage of their small figure, Beaz quickly freed themself from the heated situation.

They did not anticipate what happened after that. 

Not long after they joined the crowd in the street, Beaz heard a loud explosion and felt a wave of heated air rushed towards them. When they looked back, the entire bookshop was on fire. Bright red flames licking the ancient wooden frames of the windows. 

Some items in the bookshop got thrown out of the windows and a stream of Alphas soon followed, all soaked through. Some of them looked angry, some looked terrified, and some looked lost. 

Beaz had no idea what happened in the short period of time after they got out. The fire sprinkler should have worked before the small flame they started engulfed the entire bookshop. Alphas began picking fights with each other, shouting and throwing punches. 

Beaz stood there with a conflicted expression and looked for a few minutes and walked away.

Aziraphale was supposed to return to the bookshop before everyone else to make sure there were enough room and refreshment for the returning crowd. However, when Crowley jogged back to the storefront excitedly, he could barely recognise it. Sure, the sign still hung high above the door, but the edges of the words were charcoal black and the doors were broken and on fire. 

Despite the activated sprinklers, the flames were licking shelves like angry beasts. He had no idea why the bookshop was on fire and whether there was anyone inside.  _ Could his colleagues have known where Azirphale was? Could they have come back for him? _ Crowley’s stomach turned to stone at the sight. He rushed into the scene with only one scene in mind. 

“Aziraphale! Aziraphale!” He shouted in amidst the fire, voice cracked and dampened with the streaks of desperate tears. “Aziraphale! Where are you!” 

His skin and lungs hurt from the ashes and heat in the bookshop. There was no sight of Aziraphale, which probably made sense given the blackened air. The longer Crowley cried out his partner’s name in the real-life inferno, the more hopeless he got. Everything was too noisy for him to ground himself and understand that it was too dangerous to stay inside a fire. He wanted his partner back in his arms.

Crowley had no idea how long he’d been in the fire and how he managed to survive his reckless act when a strong burst of water came through from the windows and hit him directly. The impact punched the air out from his lungs and hurt terribly on his heat-irritated skin. 

He almost did not want to be saved as he lied on the ground covered with dampened ashes and watched the steams rising to the ceiling.

“Someone killed him,” he whispered as the realisation dawned on him and shouted with an overly heated broken heart. "Bastards! All of you!"

It took longer than Aziraphale longer to get back to the bookshop than he anticipated. Some Alphas picked fights with them, teasing the Omegas and challenging Alphas into meaningless duals. By the time the Hastur and Dagon promised that they’d take care of the participants and Aziraphale can return to the bookshop to prepare for the returning crowd, he was exhausted. 

Aziraphale tried to power walk back to the bookshop, but he was too tired. He vaguely registered the crowd that was running towards him, but his drained mind couldn’t make the connection with the gradually heating up air blowing in his face. 

The bookshop, once so serene and elegant, was now engulfed by hideous flames and powerful streams of fire from the nearby fire trucks. Aziraphale felt anger and grieve rushing up from his gut, but something else caught his attention. He thought there were wild cries coming out from the chaos, a voice that drew him into the fire. _He had to go inside._

“Sir, you can’t go inside now,” a nearby firefighter shouted at the blonde bookshop owner, but Aziraphale ignored it. 

He pushed his way into the horrific scene made of fire and water, and saw his lover on the ground in the middle of everything, staring at the ceiling with a dazed expression and tears streaking down his face. 

“Crowley! Are you alright?” He gasped and ran towards the motionless redhead and collected the bony body in his own arms. He frantically looking over every inch of Crowley’s body seemed to lure him out of the hazy state. Crowley turned his head very slowly to the messy blonde curls, now dirtied with ashes and blackened water.

“Angel,” he breathed, sounding very raspy. “I’m so sorry. I wish I was there for you. I didn’t mean to leave you alone...”

“Sh… Don’t speak, I’ll take you out of here,” Aziraphale had a weird feeling about what Crowley was babbling on, but he assumed it was what happened when you breathed in too much smoke. He struggled to make his way out of the fire, cradling the strengthless body in front of his chest. 

Thankfully, Crowley wasn’t burnt in the fire, and the damage of breathing in smoke was mild. After some treatment, Aziraphale sat in a chair near the bed Crowley laid on and thought back to what happened earlier, running his thumb on the distinguished knuckles of the Omega.

Crowley started squirming after a while, squeezing the thick fingers in his hold hard. Aziraphale snapped his attention back to the Omega and saw him abruptly sit up from the bed with a shout of his name and terrified expression. 

“Aziraphale!” Streaks of tears spilt from his honey coloured eyes as he searched frantically around for his Alpha.

“Shhh… It’s alright now,” the Alpha moved to the edge of the bed and held Crowley firmly against himself. He pushed stray strands of fiery hair away from the pale face and wiped away the tears spilling out of the honey-coloured eyes. “Everything is alright now, my love.”

“You must have been terrified all alone in the fire,” he sighed softly, tugging Crowley’s forehead in the hollow of his neck and scenting him. “Do you feel better now?” 

“I couldn’t smell you in there,” Crowley rubbed himself roughly against the skin of his Alpha, seeking as much comfort as he could in a setting like this. He wanted to get rid of the smell of new clothes, medicine and disinfectant, and cover himself with the warm and spicy smell of his Alpha. The scent of where he belonged.

“I thought I lost you,” he sobbed into the warm skin of Aziraphale’s neck. “I thought I lost you, Alpha.” 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t get back sooner, leaving you in that horrible fire for so long,” the blonde said apologetically. “When I saw you on the floor, my heart almost stopped. What happened back there?”

Crowley’s movements froze after he’d been rutting at Aziraphale’s soft neck for a while. He began sniffing desperately at Aziraphale’s skin and began shaking violently when he realised he couldn’t smell Aziraphale’s scent. There was an inordinately soft hint of the spicy scent, but everything smelt dull and muted. 

“What’s wrong?” The Omega’s agitated motions worried Aziraphale. Something didn’t seem right. “Crowley? Are you alright?”

“I can’t smell you,” the redhead wailed, repeating between pressing himself against Aziraphale and backing off. Crowley gulped in lungful after lungful of air but his expression grew more distraught as his efforts continued. “I cannot smell you, Alpha.”

“Crowley, Crowley, shh…” Aziraphale steadied him with his sturdy arms and pressed the shaking body tightly against his own. “I’m sure it’s got something to do with being in the fire for too long or breathing in too much smoke. We’ll ask the doctor about it later. Don’t worry about it for now. You need to rest for a bit.”

“I can’t smell you, Aziraphale,” Crowley calmed down in his arms but still evidently distressed. 

“I’m sorry about that,” Aziraphale pressed his cheeks firmly on the soft red hair of the Omega, surrounding the still restless body with his own warmth. He couldn’t smell the Omega as well as he used to as well. The sweet scent was covered by the smell of smoke and medicine. But, lacking scent didn’t matter as much to Alphas as it did to Omegas, so he said nothing about it. 

“But, you can feel me. I’ll stay close. I’ll hold you like this for as long as you need,” He worried for Crowley more than paying attention about not being able to smell his scent. “There’s not much I can do apart from that, but you can trust me, alright? We will do some tests and check-ups when you feel better. I promise. For now, I’ll be here and keep you safe and accompanied.”

The Omega’s breaths continued to be laboured but his limbs grew slack from the claw-like posture Crowley had been in around Aziraphale. He followed the calm voice of Aziraphale and took back control of his body. Everything smelled dull to him at the moment and he felt as if he was wrapped in a veil. 

  
  


“I guess I just didn’t care anymore. Lying there on the cold ground of your bookshop,” Crowley said out of nowhere quietly when the two were resting in silence. Each of his words cut an open wound in Aziraphale’s already bleeding heart. “I thought you were in there somewhere and I thought if I stayed, I could see you at the other end.”

Aziraphale sucked in a huge lungful of air and pulled away, holding the tearful face in his hands and forcing himself to look into the wet eyes of his lover. 

“The end where we are both dead?” Averting his gaze, Crowley nodded. 

“Please promise me you will never say this ever again,” Aziraphale leaned in to kiss away the droplets of tears running down Crowley’s face. “I would never expect you to give up your life for me. I want you to be happy and safe and vibrant and alive, Crowley, my dearest.”

“That is not the point,” Crowley shook off the hands on his face and buried himself back into the thick chest of his Alpha. “I wouldn’t have a life without you.”

“That’t not true,” Aziraphpale sighed. “I love you dearly, but I don’t want you to not have a life without me.”

“It’s not. I’m not being romantic, or dramatic, or whatever weakness Omegas have,” Crowley pulled himself away from the embrace with a defensive stance suddenly.

“Oh no no no, my love, that’s not what I’m trying to say,” Aziraphale hurried to explain. “I care for you too much. I don’t want you to follow me after my death, if I do die, that is. I want to know that you can still be happy and alive even if I’m not around.” 

“I cannot,” Crowley pouted. “There is no life without you. You can’t expect me to have a life after knowing what it is like to be loved and cared for by you. Others in this world don’t care about people like me for a split second.” 

The sad thing was, Aziraphale couldn’t disagree with that. 

The moment he stepped out of the bookshop with Crowley lifelessly in his arms, a few medics ran up to him and checked him for any injury instead of treating the evidently hurt Omega in his arms. It was a twisted world they lived in. 

“I will not go away. I will not leave you alone, my lovely Crowley,” he said as he guided the still weak Crowley back into a lying position, tightly tucked into his side. “Rest some more, and we will go home.”

Beaz looked for the supposedly evacuating paraders and eventually ran into Hastur and Dagon on their way. They looked pleased with the event that was just over and was chatting with other participants as they walked. 

“We need to go to the base to celebrate,” Beaz announced when they got close enough to the group of people. “Something went wrong with the plan and the bookshop burnt down.”

“I told you it was a stupid idea, Beaz,” Hastur snorted. 

“Fine,” annoyed, Beaz spat the word at Hastur’s overly delighted face. 

By the time they arrived at the base, when most paraders were back in the base, except Aziraphale and Crowley. No one knew where they were, but few paid them any mind. Most assumed the two of them were coming back with Beaz and Hastur. Even if they did not return with the leaders, it’s not unusual for couples to leave earlier during events. Beaz had a bad hunch, however. They knew it too well that neither the fussy Alpha nor their too-anxious brother was capable of missing the official dismissal. 

“So, what happened back there?” Hastur asked Beaz as they settled down at a large table in front of the people. 

Beaz couldn’t care less about explaining what happened back in the bookshop to Hastur who was clearly looking forward to making fun of Beaz’s misstep. They needed to find Crowley. They would not have their brother missing. Well, they would not risk anyone’s safety after the parade. Omegas could easily be taken revenge on. But especially not their brother. 

They walked towards Anathema and Newt. Crowley had grown close to the pair since he started spending time in the shelter. If anyone knew about where their brother was, it’d probably be them. 

Their blood froze when they heard what they were saying. 

“No, Adam. We can’t try the potion on them now,” Anathema scolded the young Alpha standing by her side. Her expression was deeply troubled. 

“We need Aziraphale to try it, not Crowley,” Adam grumbled. “We have enough Omega subjects as it is. He can wait until he recovers.” 

“We promised them to try the potion on them as a pair,” Anathema insisted. Her voice was almost too low to hear. “We will wait until they return from the hospital. And we will check on their recovery. And we will see if it’s appropriate to try it on them.” 


	14. Fixing Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beaz rushed to check on Aziraphale and Crowley, and Aziraphale made a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, people :)
> 
> This is the end of this story and I really appreciated every kind gesture throughout the journey. 
> 
> I've been putting the editing of this chapter off because I felt sentimental when I opened the file. But here it is, and really hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Have a nice day/evening, or whatever time it is for you now :)

“What did you just say?” Beaz bit out the words one by one, their voice tight and threatening. Anathema and Adam’s back straightened up at the approaching threats. “Who did you plan to test your potion on?” 

“Well…” Anathema started as she turned around to face Beaz in rage. She didn’t quite know what to say. They probably heard most of it anyways.

“Did you just say you planned to use my brother and his boyfriend as experiment subjects?” They snarled. 

“Well, we didn’t, alright?” Adam grumbled annoyedly. 

“We haven’t,” Anathema corrected him. 

“And why was that?” Beaz snarled again. Their face grew darker by the minute. Had these two put Crowley in any danger,  _ any _ , they’d be in big trouble. Beaz would see to it personally. 

“Crowley’s in the hospital,” Adam shrugged. Anathema gasped in disbelief of how easily Adam gave away information that could get them both in trouble. They hadn’t even heard back from Aziraphale about what happened. She braced herself for the next outburst from Beaz. 

“My brother’s in the hospital?” Beaz shouted in a higher tone than anyone had ever heard them used for many years. “And no one told me? Not one soul in this room cared to tell me?” 

“Where’s Aziraphale?” They yelled at the crowd, frustratedly, frightening everyone to the point that no one dared to move. “I’m going to kill that bastard.”

“He found Crowley in the bookshop and they went to ER together,” Anathema sighed and Beaz stumbled backwards at her reply, seemingly shocked by it for some reason. Beaz could really be a handful sometimes, but she supposed that was in their blood, the Crowleys. 

“Bookshop?” Beaz gasped hoarsely in shock. They went still for a moment and began howling into their palms. “What have I done? Oh… What have I done…”

People stared in shock as well for a while. None of them had ever seen Beaz in a state that was not fierce and confident. No one in the room knew how to face a Beaz in their vulnerable state. Hastur stared at his longtime colleague with his jaw slack in shock as well. 

“Right, so what have you done,” it was Adam. Of course, it was the fearless young boy who asked the question that was on everyone’s mind. 

“Is the potion going to work on Omegas?” Beaz did not answer that, however. Instead, they snapped up and seized Anathema’s forearms in a tight grip. “Can you reverse it?”

“It works on Omegas and no I cannot reverse it, why?”

The question seemed to destroy Beaz more. 

“Jesus, what have I done. Anathema,” they wailed. “I used it on Crowley.” 

“How?” Adam and Anathema screamed. Terrified. 

“I used the potion on a group of Alphas,” they admitted quietly. “I stole it, filled it in the pipe and the sprinklers in the bookshop, started a fire and made them all soaked in the potion.” 

“And Crowley went in after that,” Adam gasped.

“Well, we don’t know if the potion was still concentrated enough to work when he went in and perhaps it’s diluted and didn’t work anymore.” Anathema tried to comfort them but she didn’t know if any of that was true. If the potion worked on Crowley, it was bad. Very bad. Omegas relied heavily on scents to ground themselves and had the sense of smell weakened can cause panic attacks. They had to find Crowley quickly and explain everything to him. 

“We have to find them now,” Anathema announced and Beaz agreed. 

Not too long after the first flame flared, the entire bookshop was filled with a mist of water from the fire sprinkler. The Alphas chanted angrily and set scattered books aflame. The fire spread quicker than the mist could have extinguished it. 

Gabriel watched the room in a haze. Things went wrong too quickly. An unsettling feeling gnawed at him as he realised his every sense was duller than he was used to. Vaguely he thought to himself,  _ something didn’t add up _ .  _ The sprinklers were activated too quickly _ .  _ How were there sprinklers in a bookshop this old in the first place?  _ The self-righteous Alpha stumbled ungraciously across the crooked shelves and gazed at the ceiling with unfocused eyes. 

The detector was flashing in the middle of the mist above him. He looked around where he stood. It was too close to where Beaz emerged to talk to him and it was too close to a pile of half-burnt loose paper. Things clicked. The disorientating mess began to make sense and the unsettling feeling began to take shape. 

It was the shape of that ridiculously tiny Alpha. 

_ That bastard _ , he cursed under his breath. He knew something was off about them. He knew they’re hiding things. Alphas were creatures of light and glory. Alphas didn’t sneak around and pick people’s locks. 

During the time Gabriel mused in a burning bookshop, the conflict was intensifying outside. His attention was drawn back to reality when he heard a mixture of snarling and wailing.  _ Alphas didn’t wail _ . 

His stomach began to sink as his nostrils were overwhelmed by the heated air of burnt pages and ancient wood. The crackling of fire spurred him forward. This was not how Alpha’s senses work. He knew that he had to take things back into control. But the scene outside terrified him. He had never seen Alphas behaving like this, sniffing around aimlessly like a wild animal, face entangled with fear and anger. 

The group of Alphas snarled at each other, took tentative steps around and tackled other Alphas into the ground. He looked for Sandalphon, the person he was sure to be able to fight his way out of here. But, Sandalphon was on the ground, covered in dark stripes of ashes. His light coloured coat was a mess, scorched in places and soaked all the way through. He bared his teeth at the Alpha looming above him and sprung up to drive his opponent into the ground instead. 

The fight shouldn’t go on like this. Alphas were civilised and should settle fights with their hierarchy instead of pure force. They should have backed down when facing a more superior figure. The younger Alpha was no way near Sandalphon in terms of the breed and social status. Sandalphon was one of the oldest blood in the city and he was under the protection of powerful figures like Gabriel for taking care of their mess. 

Gabriel didn’t get to muse for long. He was yanked out of the wet mess of the bookshop into the streets. A younger Alpha jumped at him and a few followed. Gabriel almost lost balance by the sudden attack, but he quickly steadied himself and threw the attackers onto the floor. 

He couldn’t tell which families the younger Alphas were from. He couldn’t tell whether they were highbred. His sense of smell wasn’t working and it’s not a good sign. The hierarchy of Alphas was built atop of a sophisticated system of scents and blood. The bloodline system did not work as well in modern society. People couldn’t walk around and recite their bloodline to establish hierarchy, could they? It’s not exactly subtle and elegant. 

Gabriel hunched his back and stood in a defensive posture in the face of the other Alphas. Chairs were thrown out of the shop window to create more exits. Alphas were climbing out of the fire with terrified eyes, mouth half-open and gaping for air. They sniffed around like lost animals. They pulled pedestrians into a halt to sniff them. Their rude actions enraged a few passers-by. Pushing around began to happen all over the place until the alarm of a police car began and people fled to all directions. 

Gabriel was stunned speechless after the crowd began to disperse. He stared numbly into empty streets. Sandalphon limped out from the bookshop and offered a hand. “What happened, Gabe?” 

Gabriel didn’t answer. He didn’t know how to. 

They gathered themselves and set off to go home when he saw a flash of a black-clothed person sprinting into the bookshop. It looked familiar. The urgency and grief radiating off the person sent a pang of pain to his chest. He recognised the scream that followed, the grieving wail that used to beg him to stay, but stronger. 

_ Crowley, _ he thought to himself but decided not to act out. Instead, he gritted his teeth and let Sandalphon guide him away. He did not want the Omega to see him like this. He’s supposed to be the perfect Alpha, powerful and glorious but unattainable. He was supposed to draw a stark contrast with the poor excuse of an Alpha that Crowley decided to settle for. Covering in dirty water would not do the trick. 

The screams of the ridiculous Alpha’s name died down as he and Sandalphon walked away from the still burning bookshop. He still couldn’t smell anything. A shadow of what that meant was cast on him.

Going back to Aziraphale’s house again after going through so much together felt overwhelming. It was not long ago before they packed and moved to the flat above Aziraphale’s bookshop. Now, however, the bookshop was a charcoal black mess and their lives were so different from before. 

Crowley missed the welcoming smell of the lovely house dearly. He remembered the afternoon he spent here when Aziraphale went back to work after they first met. He had indulged himself to get drunk with the lingering scent of the Alpha. He also remembered the fateful evening when he came back from the meeting with Beaz and ended up in Aziraphale’s soft bed and arms. And the morning after that. He stood in the empty hallway with a bleeding heart and ran. That’s the part he didn’t need to remember. 

It was a good thing that Aziraphale came for him. He couldn’t imagine what his life might be like without Aziraphale by his side now. That kind of life seemed like a distant idea, which he had no intent to find out about. 

He let Aziraphale lay him down onto the soft bed in the master bedroom. His limbs were still wobbly and his lungs refused to be helpful for extended periods of time. Aziraphale had decided that Crowley was in no shape of taking care of himself and insisted on doing every small thing for him. Crowley had hated being treated like a child, but he decided that being pampered was something he could get used to. 

Soft pads of Aziraphale’s fingers danced across his skin while the Alpha helped him change into soft flannel pyjamas. Crowley winced at the overly joyful colour but said nothing. Although he much preferred his own black silk ones, he’s not going to let go of any opportunity of having Aziraphale’s hands on him. Their careful manoeuvring made him feel loved. 

Aziraphale’s movements were torturously slow, taking inordinately care of every button. Crowley felt his skin heating up viciously in the gap between having his clothes stripped and being wrapped up in another set of soft fabric. He couldn’t resist pulling the covers over himself while the blonde primly folded his clothes and laid them aside. 

“Are you cold, my dear?” Aziraphale asked in a concerned voice as he shook open the folded pyjamas he picked for Crowley. The sudden blow of cool air on his skin made the redhead whimper. Crowley replied nothing but turned to hide his blushing face into the pillow. The smirk on the edge of Aziraphale’s lips was a telltale sign to him. 

“Come on,” the Alpha cooed. His thick and warm palm trailed teasingly up along his sides and supported Crowley up from under the plane between his shoulders. Crowley sighed at the ticklish feeling of the blunt nails, barely audible, but Aziraphale caught it all the same. After the time they spent together, he knew what to look for and how to elicit the most beautiful sound out of Crowley. 

Sex was not what he was after this time, however. What he wanted was to make Crowley feel loved and cared for. He wanted to warm up the pale body by gentle touches and kisses before he could share his own heat through layers of fabrics with a loving embrace. Aziraphale wrapped the lanky body in the set of soft pyjamas carefully, caressing the skin that came to contact as he worked. At the end of his mission, he had a redhead smiling hazily at him. 

Aziraphale allowed himself a satisfied wiggle and climbed under the cover with Crowley, who instinctively settled against the soft belly and sighed happily. He felt content with his life, knowing that he could offer this. He could make someone happy. 

Watching Crowley fall asleep from such a close distance calmed him. After so much happened in the past few hours, he felt grateful nonetheless. He tried not to think about the results of Crowley’s check-up before they left.  _ Something was wrong with his hormone _ , the doctor said. They did not know what that meant, however. Aziraphale had a bad feeling for that. 

He’s going to love Crowley regardless. He knew that as a fact. He couldn’t think of any reason that might suggest otherwise. What he’s worried about were Crowley’s reactions. It’s something to worry about for another day, though, he told himself. Knitting his brows together in the middle of the night was not going to fix anything. Enjoying a peaceful sleep with Crowley in his arms was a much better option. That was what he did.

The morning came before either of them was ready for it. Or, more accurately, Beaz came with as the sun rose and drove them out of bed against their wills. 

Aziraphale grunted, not exactly thrilled to open the door for any unexpected visitor when he had Crowley perfectly settled against him. His displeasure rose dramatically when said unexpected visitor stormed into his house, his bedroom even, and yelled at the love of his life. 

“Up!” They growled at the lump under thick covers that was their brother. “How did you not let me know about any of this? You didn’t even think to call? People were worried!” 

Crowley groaned in annoyance, pushing the blanket just low enough to show his eyes. The cloud of sleep and tiredness in his eyes made Aziraphale want to kick Beaz out of his house and coax his partner back into a peaceful sleep. He couldn’t care less if they’re his sibling or not. He didn’t have to. Which Aziraphale was thankful for. However he wanted to protect Crowley, a confrontation wasn’t something he’d want to do. 

Beaz looked guilty. They sighed and sat down beside the lump. They had no right to be angry, they reminded themself. Crowley was the one who’s going through troubles he didn’t ask for. 

“Hey, brother, I’m sorry for what you went through,” Beaz rubbed where Crowley’s shoulder should be. “I didn’t mean to involve any of you. I didn’t anticipate this.”

“What do you mean?” Aziraphale stiffened abruptly at the door with teacups and biscuits on a tray with him. His face was stone cold, mixed with fear and anger. _ How did they know what happened to him _ ? “What happened to Crowley.”

“Aziraphale, put down the tray first, will you?” The blonde did not back down, looking ridiculously with a full tray and an angry round face at the door. “I’m sorry. I’ll explain everything. Can you come sit down, please?

The blonde said nothing as he settled the tray on a bedside table and padded across the room. He gritted his teeth together so hard, he could almost hear his teeth crack. He kept the stern stare of his eyes on Beaz while he settled on the other side of his partner, who shifted under the cover to settle in the hollow of his crossed legs. Aziraphale was almost sure Crowley was too big for this, but the way he folded his limbs around himself made it just right. Crowley nudged the soft flesh of the underside of Aziraphale’s belly affectionately, earning himself a tender ruffle of his morning hair. Aziraphale carefully arranged the cover and pillows to make sure not one inch of Crowley's body was exposed to the chilly air of the morning. 

“Crowley was neutralised,” Beaz announced quietly.

“What do you mean neutralised?” Aziraphale’s posture stiffened. They had not yet told Beaz about their plan to be subjects of Anathema’s experiment and he had no idea if that’s what they’re saying now and he didn’t want to get Anathema and the Them into trouble. 

“I used Anathema’s potion in the bookshop,” Beaz swallowed, winced as Crowley stared at him with widened eyes but pressed his back tighter against Aziraphale. “Neutralised dozens of Alphas and I think you were affected by the last of it.”

“How?” 

“I put it inside the pipes of the fire sprinklers,” they sighed in defeat.

“Anathema hasn’t even tried the potion! They had no idea how the potion works on Alphas!” Aziraphale growled at the regretful face of Beaz. He was infuriated.  _ What was they thinking? What did they think they’re going to do to those Alphas? How could they put other people in danger like that, however bad they may be? How could they involve innocent people? _

“You need to think twice about what you do. I have told you the first time we went to your base, I do not agree with your approaches,” Aziraphale’s blue eyes were stormy and dangerous. “I haven’t changed my mind. You guys are sources of danger to society like the Alphas.

“Neither bunch of you understand that being an Alpha does not mean you have power over someone else. No one got that kind of power. No one is entitled to make life decisions for others willy nilly!” He yelled so loudly, he felt Crowley flinched in his arms. He had now climbed up into his laps and clung to his chest, making shushing voices to calm him down. 

“What’s going to happen to me, Beaz?” Crowley whispered, sounding scared and uncertain. “What am I now?”

“Nothing changed. You are still you. It shouldn’t impact your health. The only possible impact is that you,” they swallowed difficulty. “You might not be able to have kids.” 

“Well, that hell of a nothing change, yeah?” Crowley gasped in shock at first but managed to bite out a bitter chuckle. He didn’t really think about whether he should have children. Whether Aziraphale would want to have children with him. Whether they would raise a child together. Now that he thought of it, it sounded like a horrible loss. 

“I’m sorry, Anthony,” Beaz sounded very guilty. Crowley did not turn to look at them though. They felt horrible. Ever since they understood how unfair life was to Omegas like their brother, they had tried hard to fix it. However little impact each action of theirs brought, they felt less guilty knowing that an abused soul might have found peace after that. 

Now they had caused harm like the group of people they had always tried to stop. Aziraphale was right. What they were doing was as harmful to society as the other Alphas. They felt disgusted for what they’ve done over the years and had no idea what to do now. 

“I need the potion,” after a while of insufferable silence, Aziraphale announced. His face and tone determined. 

“What?” Beaz did not know where that came from. Couldn’t have been anywhere good, they decided. 

“I’m going to neutralise myself,” he explained. 

“No, you are not,” Crowley gasped. “I don’t need you to do that for me.”

“No, I’m not going to let you use the potion without proper testing.” Beaz agreed. It was a reckless decision and they’re not going to let Aziraphale make decisions without thinking things through. 

“Crowley had been neutralised already. Without knowing anything!” He growled, infuriated. How dare they refuse this when things happened because they going rogue. 

Beaz had nothing to reply to that. 

“I’m not going to let him experience that all on his own. I being neutralised will not mitigate his pain, but he’ll not be alone,” Aziraphale forced his voice to be still. To not waver. He had to be strong for Crowley, who was now staring at him with widened eyes filled with tears. “It’s alright, my dear. Hush now, it’s alright.”

Beaz couldn’t say anything to that. What Aziraphale was going to do was more than what they could’ve asked for their brother. 

“I’ll ask Anathema for some,” they agreed to it. “I’ll get to it now. Let me know if there are other things I can help with.” 

Beaz left without saying anything else. They stopped Aziraphale from waking Crowley to say goodbye. They’d meet the couple soon enough and they felt safe leaving Crowley in his arms. 

Beaz had sensed the bond between Aziraphale and Crowley. It was stronger than they’ve ever thought possible. They’ve always thought the most impenetrable bond was blood. But they’re happy for him. They really are. 

Behind Beaz, Aziraphale climbed into the bed and held Crowley as tightly against himself as possible. The redhead sighed and buried himself deeper into the hug. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot say thank you enough to everyone that had been reading. 
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment, even if it's just to say hi. They really do make my day brighter than it is.


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